a few thoughts here and there

Child Sex Abuse: Mumbai Police's Face Of Shame !!!!

2012-01-25T12:57:00.000+05:30

It's a shame! The city where I have spent the past six years and have been so vocal about its generosity and its inherent beauty - I am talking about Mumbai (India) here - is suddenly turning into a shame. Well, maybe not suddenly, but surely it is rearing its ugly head much more aggressively than ever before.

For the past few days, in fact a couple of weeks really, each day I open the morning paper, disturbing stories of sexual acts against small children scream at me. First there was this unsolved case of a two-year-old girl who was sexually molested and killed, then there was a three-year-old girl who was similarly sexually molested and killed, then a case of an eight-year-old who was sexually molested, then a 14-year-old who was sexually molested, and finally, a 07-year-old who was sexually molested. Most of these girls had been picked up while they were playing outside their homes, or were with some family member and somehow, were unfortunate enough that these family members slipped for a moment in their attention towards the child and the crimes took place.

It's a shame really, not only on all of us as a country, but more so on our police who has constantly not been able to create a safe environment for children. Most of these cases happened in parks and roadsides that had thick bushes. How is it that the Mumbai police isn't in on this and does not provide permanent beat cops for such places? We say that there are many many such places where such crimes can happen and its not possible to station a police at every single point. On the one hand we complain about India's uncontrollable population growth, and on the other, we complain about lack of manpower! Why aren't these many head counts being channelised into the right direction? Why aren't more people being hired to even work hand-in-hand with the police. If a regular person like me and others can think like this, why is it that those who really have the authority to get something like this in action not doing anything on these fronts?

And this is not just restricted to Mumbai, or even India. Toddlers as tiny as barely a year old are being subjected to sexual atrocities! What have we come to!!

I am also appalled at the general lack of concern parents have these days towards their children. We all know the world has changed, nothing is innocent and beautiful anymore for a child without proper adult supervision. But where is that adult supervision? We say that we need to take care of our kids. We are the same parents who then go on to say how tiring it is to take care of a child 24*7. We hand over the child's responsibilities to a maid. We gladly let the child go and play in the park alone. We happily send them over to their friends' homes. We may even allow them sleepovers. Of course some amount of independence is necessary for each child's individual growth, but it is extremely important to understand who those people are with whom we can place the utmost trust of our children. In these times and situations, instances of family members molesting children have come to light on many incidents, so it is even more important for us as parents to keep only a few chosen individuals who we know for sure will look after our children.

No child is safe from a molester - whether a girl or a boy - and it is up to us as parents, and up to us as adults, to ensure we can protect this innocence and help our children bloom and live in a carefree environment, and nurture them into happy, healthy and caring adults.

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Defending A King: His Life & Legacy by Dr. Karen Moriarty

2012-01-20T16:07:00.000+05:30

From the book:

'To live is to be musical, starting with the blood dancing in your veins. Everything living has a rythm.' - Michael Jackson

"When I had left home days earlier, I perceived Michael Jackson as a human Bambi - 90fragile, vulnerable, deserted, in need of protection, alone - in a perilous environment. By the time I returned, I perceived Michael as Bambi's little brother." - Author

A few days back I got an email from one of the book sites where I am a reviewer, asking me if I would like to read and review a book on the most talented musician, performer and entertainer of our times, and probably of all time - the King himself, Michael Jackson.

Would I say no to that?

Read the entire article here

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Sharing The Afternoon Meal With My Winged Friends

2012-01-09T11:25:00.001+05:30

It's three o' clock in the afternoon and my daughter has just finished her lunch. But before she rushes off to play or do her colouring, she heads to the kitchen and picks up a box kept in the corner. Most days she asks me to help her open it up, some days she does it herself. She opens the lid, then heads towards the kitchen balcony, opening it slowly. She calls out to me to come over.

As we both head to the kitchen balcony, our winged friends are already waiting there for us. They flutter around, just waiting at the corners for us to scatter the grains and move, so that they can start the feast. As my daughter scatters the grains on the balcony, I fill up the water bowl that has been emptied since morning. I call out to the birds who are already sitting on nearby balconies and ledges, or flying in circles above us, some even going out a little and calling out to their friends that lunch is being served. We move away in some time, coming back to the kitchen and closing the door quietly, and almost instantly, the birds come swooping in. Within minutes the food is all gone. And just like that, so are our winged friends, after spending a little time lazing on the balcony.

I started this feast a little more than a year back. It started just by chance. Of course earlier I used to put bread crumbs on my balcony and there was always a water bowl on all my balconies and window ledges for these cute ones to come in and take a sip. Then one day while my father was here at my place, he brought in a bag of bird food and scattered it on the balcony. And since then, the feast has continued.

It's amazing actually how the birds are always on time!!! And I have to give it to them that no matter what the season, what the day, these birdies are always ready for their meal bang on time, on the dot! I have maintained a meal time of 03pm and every single day, without missing a single day, they are already present by 02:45pm, before time!! We live on the 23rd floor, and these darlings have never ever missed the floor, knowing very well where their meal is placed.

Every time they are thirsty, they fly up here to our floor and take a sip. And with each passing day, their number has only increased. What was initially a handful of birds is now a big big group of birds - pigeons, sparrows, crows - all flying in in batches....

And its something both my daughter and I really look forward to each day...

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Mozilla Firefox Challenge with CrowdRise: Individual Action. Global Impact

2012-01-04T16:56:00.000+05:30

I'm sure most of you have already seen this by now. Or maybe you haven't. Well, it was popping up on my screen every time I switched on my laptop, but maybe I was too busy to give it a look. I did today, and I believe it is worth sharing. A simple word to define this initiative by Mozilla Firefox would be 'DONATE'. Of course you are not bound to donate, or it's not that if you're not donating to one of these global causes mentioned below, you cease to be a good person. But just in case you would like to see what the various celebrity charities are working for and how your donation will help, do click on the charity name and you will get more details. Mozilla has already donated $5000 to each charity and an additional $25,000 will go to any cause that raises the most by January 11,2012.

Says the Mozilla Team: We've brought together thousands of people to build a better Web. Not for profit, but for good. This holiday season help us take it one step further. Donate to a celebrity's charity, join their team or fundraise for your own cause. You could win prizes from the celebrity teams while doing good for the world.

Here is the list of the various celebrity charities where you can extend your help:

MAASAI WILDERNESS CONSERVATION: EDWARD NORTON'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Preserving Wilderness and Wildlife. Supporting People and Culture.

CHARITY: WATER: DAVID BLAINE'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Helping Build Wells To Help Hundreds of Thousands of People Have Clean Water.

ACCELERATE BRAIN CANCER CURE: DAVID COOK'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Funding Brain Tumor and Brain Cancer Research.

ROLLING DOG FARM: PAUL RUDD'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE To Rescue And Shelter Disabled Animals.

SUSTAINABILITY NETWORK: WISEREARTH'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISER Enables You To Discover And Share What's Latest And Connect With Other ChangeMakers.

WOMEN'S HEART CENTER: BARBARA STREISAND'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Helping The Women's Heart Center At Cedars Sinai Medical Center

HILARITY FOR CHARITY: SETH ROGEN'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Benefiting Alzheimer's Disease And Related Disorders Association

F CANCER: SOPHIA BUSH'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Helping People Detect Early Signs of Cancer

EVERY MOTHER COUNTS: CHRISTY TURLINGTON'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Help Build A Clinic For Pregnant Mothers In Need In Indonesia

TEAMJS FOR FEEDING AMERICA: DAVID FLANAGAN'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Giving Generously To Fight Hunger in The US.

NOTHING BUT NETS: JONAH HILL'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE A Campaign of the United Nations Foundation. Help Send Nets To Refugee Camps in Africa To Avoid Death By Malaria

CITY YEAR: JASON BATEMAN'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Tutoring, Mentoring And Serving As Role Models To Help Children Continue Schooling And To Help Schools In Providing Education. Engaging Students In Community Service And Leadership Development Activities. Planning And Leading Transformational Service Projects.

THE INNOCENCE PROJECT: ZOOEY DESCHANEL'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Assist Prisoners Who Could Be Proven Innocent Through DNA Testing.

CANCER FOR COLLEGE: WILL FERRELL'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Helps Cancer Survivors Realise Their Dream of Going To College

J/P HAITIAN RELIEF ORGANISATION: CEO SEAN PENN Combating Poverty in Haiti and Helping Rebuild The Infrastructure Destroyed By The 2010 Earthquake

JDRF - IMPROVING LIVES, CURING TYPE 1 DIABETES: MARY McCORMACK'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Spreading Awareness And Funding Research For Type 1 Diabetes (T1D) Through JDRF.

KICK EPILEPSY'S BUTT: KRISTIN BAIRD'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Benefiting Citizens United for Research in Epilepsy (CURE)

MCMF HOLIDAY CHALLENGE: MICHELE AND ERIC CWIERTNY'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Help Fund Medical Research for EBV And EBV-Associated Diseases, Including Blood Cancer.

I WANT TO F CANCER MORE THAN SOPHIA BUSH DOES: MARY COLVIG'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Helping Raise Funds For The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.

CLEAN WATER FOR ECUADOR: HEATHER BUSH'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Benefiting Free The Children. Working Towards Building A Well In Ecuador To Help Children Get Access To Clean Drinking Water.

IAN SOMERHALDER FOUNDATION 25,000.00POUND CHALLENGE: VAMPIRE BRIGADE ISF'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Help Save Animals And The Environment

STOP CHILD ABUSE - TRAFFICKING: ARK OF HOPE FOR CHILDREN'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Working To Help Stop Child Abuse And To Help And Support Child Abuse Victims. Ark Of Hope is providing counsel and emotional support now and preparing for hands-on care through their own safe houses.

SAVE THE FROG IN BELIZE: MICHAEL STARKEY'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Many of these species are under threat of extinction from habitat destruction and the threat of the nefarious Chytrid Fungus, which has already driven many Central American species to extinction. Michael aims at traveling around the country in Belize to broaden the mission by protecting amphibian population and promoting a society that respects and appreciates nature and wildlife.

CHARLIE'S CHERUBS - CHARLIE SHEEN HELPING TO SAVE BABIES BORN WITH CDH: CHERUBS' FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Money Donated Will Help Fund Research, Family Support Services And Awareness Projects For Babies Born With Congenital Diaphragmatic Hernia.

WATER CHANGES LIVES: YAYE BA'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE 4100 Children Die Each Day From Water-Related Diseases. HELP.

TRANSPLANT FOR SIMON: DAMIAN HOSPITAL'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Simon Needs A Life-Saving Bone Marrow Transplant. He Has A Previously Unknown Genetic Defect That Causes His Immune System To Malfunction. Donating To Children's Organ Transplant Association (COTA) Helps Children Like Simon Get The Care They Need. Save A Life Today.

HELP ALLEY CATS: ALLEY CAT RESCUE, INC.'s FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Donations to Alley Cat Rescue go towards helping cats living in alleys. ACR spays/neuters, gives shots, and then sets up feeding stations to provide food and clean water.

JOHN V. LINDSAY WILDCAT CHARTER SCHOOL: PHILIP JACK'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Our objective is for students to experience training in a wide range of industries; any help you could provide in that endeavor helps our kids identify their values and focus on their goals.

POURHOUSE FILL'ER UP!: POURHOUSE INC.'s FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Providing Home For The Homeless

GRASSROOT SOCCER: ETHAN ZOHN'S FUNDRAISER ON CROWDRISE Our mission is to educate, inspire and mobilize youth to stop the spread of HIV. By 2014, GRS plans to reach 1 million youth with life-saving education.

And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Your Birth Month And Your Traits - How Accurate Do You Think It Is?

2011-12-12T11:27:00.000+05:30

A friend shared something on FaceBook today...yes, like you have rightfully guessed, I'm ALWAYS on FaceBook. In fact so much so that I actually believed (as did many others who know me), that the FaceBook ad that has been doing the rounds on TV channels these days in partnership with a telecom provider, was actually meant for me and people like me (I'm sure you thought that about yourself too!)

Well, not diverting from the topic, as usual I logged in to FB this morning and found this really interesting post on a friend's page. To clarify things first, I'm NOT one of those who believes in sunsigns. I DO NOT read the newspaper forecasts each morning about how my day/week/month is going to look like. But when I read this, I was shocked at HOW ACCURATE this actually was! I personally gave it a 09/10. So just for the fun of it, wanted to share this with you guys and see how true to form this is for you...Read on:

JANUARY:
Pretty/ handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-earth. Stubborn.

FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest And loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted . Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.

APRIL:
Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Works well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Systematic . Hot but has brains.

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physique. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislikes being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High-spirited.

JUNE:
You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have a very attractive partner. A wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!!

JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood . Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotionally temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Spazzy at times. Not revengeful . Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST:
Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. No self-control. Kind hearted. Self-confident. Loud and boisterous . VERY revengeful . Easy to get along with and talk to. Has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. Likes talking and singing. Loves music. Daydreamer. Easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. Loves to be loved. Hates studying. in need of "that someone". Longs for freedom. Rebellious when withheld or restricted . Lives by "no pain no gain" attitude. Always a suspect. Playful. Mysterious ."charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. Independent. Strong willed. A fighter.

SEPTEMBER:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys making love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

NOVEMBER:
Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because they are one of a kind.

DECEMBER:
This straight-up means you are the most good-looking person possible. Better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/ her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. One guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves music. Pretty/ handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive

*Please note that NONE of the characteristics mentioned above have anything to do with the author of the blog. This is just a copy-paste post....

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

A Touching Eulogy to Steve Jobs: His Last Words: OH WOW OH WOW OH WOW

2011-11-02T16:02:00.000+05:30

The following has been reproduced exactly from the Mumbai Mirror dated 01st November 2011. The author of the blog takes no copyright or responsibility for the material published below:

In a touching eulogy about her late brother at his memorial service on October 16, Mona Simpson told the group of mourners about her life with Steve Jobs. Recounting memories and lessons learnt from her interaction with the pioneer of the personal computer era.
She started the eulogy with her childhood saying “I grew up as an only child, with a single mother. Because we were poor and because I knew my father had emigrated from Syria, I imagined he looked like Omar Sharif.”
“I hoped he would be rich and kind and would come into our lives and help us. Later, after I’d met my father, I tried to believe he’d changed his number and left no forwarding address because he was an idealistic revolutionary, plotting a new world for the Arab people.”
“Even as a feminist, my whole life I’d been waiting for a man to love, who could love me. For decades, I’d thought that man would be my father. When I was 25, I met that man and he was my brother,” she was quoted in New York Times as saying.
At the time she lived in New York, where she was trying to write her first novel.
“I had a job at a small magazine in an office the size of a closet, with three other aspiring writers. When one day a lawyer called me and said his client was my long-lost brother, the young editors went wild.”
“This was 1985 and we worked at a cutting-edge literary magazine, but I’d fallen into the plot of a Dickens novel and really, we all loved those the best. The lawyer refused to tell me my brother’s name and my colleagues started a betting pool.”
“The leading candidate: John Travolta. I secretly hoped for a literary descendant of Henry James – someone more talented than I, someone brilliant without even trying,” Simpson reminisced.
According to the eulogy when Mona Simpson met Steve, she found him to be a guy her age in jeans, Arab-or-Jewish-looking and handsomer than Omar Sharif.
“We took a long walk – something, it happened, that we both liked to do. I don’t remember much of what we said that first day, only that he felt like someone I’d pick to be a friend. He explained that he worked in computers. I didn’t know much about computers. I still worked on a manual Olivetti typewriter,” she said.
She also shared a few things she learned from Steve, during three distinct periods over the 27 years she knew him.
“They’re not periods of years, but of states of being. His full life. His illness. His dying.”
“Novelty was not Steve’s highest value. Beauty was. For an innovator, Steve was remarkably loyal. If he loved a shirt, he’d order 10 or 100 of them. In the Palo Alto house, there are probably enough black cotton turtlenecks for everyone in this church. He didn’t favour trends or gimmicks. He liked people his own age,” she wrote.
His philosophy of aesthetics reminds Simpson of a quote that went like this: “Fashion is what seems beautiful now but looks ugly later; art can be ugly at first but it becomes beautiful later.”
“Steve always aspired to make beautiful later. He was willing to be misunderstood.”
“Steve worked at what he loved. He worked really hard. Every day. That’s incredibly simple, but true. He ws the opposite of absent-minded. He was never embarrassed about working hard, even if the results were failures. If someone as smart as Steve wasn’t ashamed to admit trying, maybe I didn’t have to be,” Simpson recalled.
According to the eulogy, when Jobs got kicked out of Apple, things were painful.
He told his sister about a dinner at which 500 Silicon Valley leaders met the then-sitting president. He hadn’t been invited. He was hurt but he still went to work at Next. Every single day.
She also thought Steve Jobs was like a girl in the amount of time he spent talking about love.
“Love was his supreme virtue, his god of gods. He tracked and worried about the romantic lives of the people working with him,” she said.
She also wrote about the first time Steve Jobs told her about Laurene Powell. “I remember when he phoned the day he met Laurene. “There’s this beautiful woman and she’s really smart and she has this dog and I’m going to marry her.”
According to her eulogy, when Steve’s first child Reed was born, he began gushing and never stopped.
He was apparently a physical dad, with each of his children.
He freted over Lisa’s boyfriends and Erin’s travel and skirt length and Eve’s safety around the horses she adored.
His abiding love for Laurene sustained him. He believed that love happened all the time, everywhere.
In that most important way, he was never ironic, never cynical, never pessimistic.
Steve had been successful at a young age, and he felt that had isolated him. Most of the choices he made from the time she knew him were designed to dissolve the walls around him.
A middle-class boy from Los Altos, he fell in love with a middle-class girl from New Jersey.
It was important to both of them to raise Lisa, Reed, Erin and Eve as grounded, normal children.
Their house didn’t intimidate with art or polish; in fact, for many of the first years she knew Steve and Lo together, dinner was served on the grass, and sometimes consisted of just one vegetable.
Lots of that one vegetable. But one. Broccol. In season. Simply prepared. With just the right, recently snipped, herb.
“Even as a young millionaire, Steve always picked me up at the airport. He’d be standing there in his jeans,” Mona Simpson recounted in New York Times.
When a family member called him at work, his secretary Linetta answered: “Your dad’s in a meeting. Would you like me to interrupt him?”
That is not to say that he didn’t enjoy his success: he enjoyed his success a lot, just minus a few zeroes.
He told me how much he loved going to the Palo Alto bike store and gleefully realizing he could afford to buy the best bike there. And he did.
He had surprises tucked in all his pockets. I’ll venture that Laurene will discover treats – songs he loved, a poem he cut out and put in a drawer – even after 20 years of an exceptionally close marriage.
“With his four children, with his wife, with all of us, Steve had a lot of fun. He treasured happiness.”
When Steve became ill, she watched his life compress into a smaller circle.
Once, he’d loved walking through Paris. He’d discover a small handmade soba shop in Kyoto. He downhill skied gracefully. He cross-country skied clumsily.
But according to Simpson that came to a stop. Eventually, even ordinary pleasures, like a good peach, no longer appealed to him.
“Yet, what amazed me, and what I learned from his illness, was how much was still left after so much had been taken away.”
She also remembers her brother learning to walk again, with a chair. After his liver transplant, once a day he would get up on legs that seemed too thin to bear him, arms pitched to the chair back.
He’d push that chair down the corridor towards the nursing station and then he’d sit down on the chair, rest, turn around and walk back again.
He counted his steps and, each day, pressed a little farther.
“Laurene got down on her knees and looked into his eyes. “You can do this, Steve,” she said.
“His eyes widened. His lips pressed into each other. He tried. He always, always tried, and always with love at the core of that effort. He was an intensely emotional man,” she reminisced in the article in The New York Times.
Simpson realized during that terrifying time that Steve was not enduring the pain for himself.
One time when Steve had contracted a tenacious pneumonia his doctor forbid everything – even ice. We were in a standard ICU unit.
Steve, who generally disliked cutting in line or dropping his own name, confessed that this once, he’d like to be treated a little specially.
She told him: “Steve, this is special treatment.” He leaned over and said: “I want it to be a little more special.”
“Incubated, when he couldn’t talk, he asked for a notepad. He sketched devices to hold an iPad in a shopital bed. And everytime his wife walked into the room, I watched his smile remake itself on his face.”
“For the really big, big things, you have to trust me, he wrote on his sketchpad. He looked up. You have to. By that, he meant that we should disobey the doctors and give him a piece of ice,” she wrote.
None of us knows for certain how long we’ll be here.
On Steve’s better days, even in the last year, he embarked upon projects and elicited promises from his friends at Apple to finish them.
We all – in the end – die in medias res. In the middle of a story. Of many stories.
“I suppose it’s not quite accurate to call the death of someone who lived with cancer for years unexpected , but Steve’s death was unexpected for us.”
“What I learned from my brother’s death was that character is essential: What he was, was how he died.”
“Tuesday morning, he called me to ask me to hurry up to Palo Alto. His tone was affectionate, dear, loving, but like someone whose luggage was already strapped to the vehicle, who was already on the beginning of his journey, even as he was sorry, truly deeply sorry, to be leaving us,” she recounted in the New York Times.
He started his farewell and I stopped him. I said, “Wait. I’m coming. I’m in a taxi to the airport. I’ll be there.”
‘I’m telling you now because I’m afraid you won’t make it on time, honey.”
When she arrived, he and his Laurene were joking together like partners who’d lived and worked together every day of their lives. He looked into his children’s eyes as if he couldn’t unlock his gaze.
Until about 2 in the afternoon, his wife could rouse him, to talk to his friends from Apple.
Then, after awhile, it was clear that he would no longer wake.
His breathing changed. It became severe, deliberate, purposeful. She felt him counting his steps, pushing father than before.
“This is what I learned: he was working at this too. Death didn’t happen to Steve, he achieved it.”
“He told me, when he was saying goodbye and telling me he was sorry, so sorry we wouldn’t be able to be old together as we’d always planned, that he was going to a better place.”
The doctor had given him a 50/50 chance of making it through the night.
He made it through the night, Laurene next to him on the bed sometimes jerked up when there was a londer pause between his breaths. Then he would heave a deep breath and begin again.
This had to be done: Even now, he had a stern, still handsome profile, the profile of an absolutist, a romantic. His breath indicated an arduous journey, some steep path, altitude.
He seemed to be climbing.
But with that will, that work ethic, that strength, there was also sweet Steve’s capacity for wonderment, the artist’s belief in the ideal, the still more beautiful later.
Steve’s final words, hours earlier, were monosyllables, repeated three times.
“Before embarking, he’d looked at his sister Patty, then for a long time at his children, then at his life’s partner, Laurene, and then over their shoulders past them.”
Steve’s final words were:
“OH WOW. OH WOW. OH WOW.”

**********************************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

The World Is Hungry: By Pritish Nandy (As Seen In Bombay Times)

2011-10-19T15:27:00.000+05:30

Came across a very interesting article today, something very very close to my heart and something that me and my partner also do on a regular basis (though not on such large scale), along with some more people in other places. I don't know about many of you who would regularly be doing this, or would even agree to what is being said here, but if you ARE one of those who can relate to this article, do drop in a comment, would be lovely to know you .....

As seen in the Bombay Times edition of 19th October 2011, Wednesday. Article by Pritish Nandy.

It began one morning years ago. Rina put a bowl of water outside the window for the noisy pigeons that wake us up at the crack of dawn. Soon we had so many birds queued up on our window ledge that the bowls increased. Then Rangita put out some in her bedroom too. Birds of all kinds began to crowd our windows on the 24th floor. So Rina put out some grains. It disappeared quicker than we could put it out. So we put out more. But even that left us feeling guilty; many hungry birds still hung around, waiting. Now we feed them whenever we can.

Feeding the strays on the street came next. It started with Shabby, a beautiful white terrier abandoned by her owners when they left India. She greyed over the years with age and dirt. Living on the street isn't easy, particularly for a home bred pet, but Shabby was brave and we first noticed her because she chased every car that drove by, in the hope her owners would return one day, to take her home. No one came but over the years the strays on the street accepted her as one of their own. We started sharing our dinner with Shabby at night and then found it impossible to ignore her friends. So along with Shabby, came Sadhu, Moti, Puchku, Raja, Dushtu and a few stray cats. One day, the watchmen protecting a patch of land near the income tax colony met Rina and Ishita and requested them to feed four pups that a stray had delivered on the patch. So they also joined our family dinner. Three of the pups died soon after, from snakebite. Only Bhujan survived. Plus we discovered Patch and three legged Langdu from Pedder Road. And there's Pippa, the pretty snail we found in Moti's water pot who came home and settled next to a basil plant.

On her last birthday, the kids gifted Rina snaps of our entire family. These included all of them and the three current ones: Snarling, surly Rani, 11, who I found outside my MP bungalow in Delhi, her head bashed in, brains hanging out; gentle Mowgli, 4, who Rangita brought home half-blind from a film shoot in Ooty, where she was living in the trees among monkeys; and tempestuous Mojo, barely 1, a Lab with hip displasia gifted to us by our neighbours. An entire wall in our living room is dedicated to them and the others who have passed on. Magic, a rescued pom from Crawford Market; Mogambo, an abandoned boxer; Mambo No 5, another stunning boxer, born in Rashtrapati Bhavan; Mystic, rescued from under a car; and Mischief the tomcat who challenged all of them and ruled our home.

When our colleague Bobbie died, Candy and Sydney came home. But we were overbooked and had to give them away to Melissa who runs a shelter in Lonavla. Melissa left her Bandra home and settled in Lonavla, just to look after her many dogs. Even I had 42 rescued dogs once, in an ashram I built in Murbad. It was run by an old Englishman who I also found abandoned near Kemps Corner, begging for his living. But the locals in Murbad made his life miserable and one day he vanished. So now I have given the land to PAWS and Nilesh Bhanage runs his shelter there.

Wherever I look today, I find animal NGOs doing amazing work. Yet there's hunger everywhere. Stray cattle, dogs and cats roam the streets, scrummaging for leftovers. Hungry horses collapse, unable to pull their tongas any more. Monkeys trudge all day long, tied to a rope, begging for alms. Sick, emaciated bullocks pull overburdened carts. Once majestic camels lie sick and dying in Juhu beach. Elephants beg for food outside our temples. It's a sad, pitiful sight. Go to any circus pitched in the city in winter and see those once proud beasts cowering in captivity, just skin and bones, their eyes full of hunger, pain and helplessness. So, next time you throw away food or waste it, think of all those hungry strays all over this city. It's the cheapest thing to give away. Do it. Do it whenever you can.'

Mr. Pritish Nandy, thank you so much for sharing all this. I will forever see you in a different light from now on....

****************************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Out Of Your Cupboard And Straight To Their Hearts

2011-10-19T11:28:00.000+05:30

A few days back one of my friends told me she had been cleaning up her house for Diwali and there was so much 'kachda' (rubbish) coming out of her cupboard that she didn't know what to do with it. I asked her if she was talking about old clothes by any chance.
"Of course...you know, there were sooo many clothes there, clothes I didn't even wear in the last 5-6 years. I had them all this while to motivate myself to get back in shape and wear them someday. But you know how I love to shop. There's no more space in my cupboards to keep the new ones. So I guess Im just gonna throw these old ones away."

I occasionally collect such 'old' things and give them to orphanages or street kids. So I asked her if I could take these away.
"Oh wow, of course. Thanks dear. Now I will feel I have done something good on Diwali, that I have done my part." And she proceeded to put the pile of old clothes in a bag. "Oh, by the way, I have yesterday's leftover food. Actually my husband didn't like the taste..too salty for him, we got a new cook so I'm still training her. Why don't you take the food and give it away too?" She was smiling, thinking about the extra brownie points she would get for her goodness-meter on Diwali.
"No, I think I will let it pass. I'd rather cook something fresh at home and give them." I think she heard the distaste in my voice.
"No, I mean it is a little extra salty, but they are used to all this na (by they she meant the street kids)..And a little extra salty food is better than no food, no?"
Seriously????!!! "No. Thanks for the clothes."

I don't understand this mentality though. And I am glad I don't. what does it take to share a little of what you already have? A little meal prepared at home. Or maybe something to eat you buy from outside and give them. That doesn't mean you can hand down your garbage to 'them', just because they live on the streets. Just because they don't have any better options in life.

Your old clothes, old toys, books, blankets, things that were once used by you but now you use them no more. What's to think what to do with them? There is always an orphanage or a shelter near where you stay. Why can't you simply go there and give it? Or if you find that too difficult to trace, why can't you simply go out there and hand it to the many kids out there on the streets? Ever seen the joy on a little kids' face as he gets a new toy? So what if its already been used for years by your own child? In that little kid's life, it will forever be special...

And the worst are those who keep asking me if they can give me their leftover food for the 'Feed A Kid Every Saturday' thing that I do, and that many have already supported on FB and otherwise. To them, I would just like to say one thing: Would you let your child eat something like that? Something that is stale, too spicy, too salty, or just plain unhealthy? Something that can make a little child fall sick? As it is these little ones on the streets have a lot to deal with. Your making them fall ill is the last thing they need. So please spare them. And PLEASE don't even think of scoring on your so-called goodness-factor by dumping your garbage on someone else.

If you can share some love, go out and do it. Else stay at home.

**********************************************************************

And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Im Taking Away Your Name, Even Though You're Not Mine

2011-10-03T10:48:00.000+05:30

Many Indian women are celebrating today....reason?

The judgement:
'The wife has a fundamental right under Article 21 of the Constitution of India (right to life) to use any name including her married name notwithstanding the fact that her marriage has been dissolved.'

The legal position thus clarified, the passport office finally reversed its earlier stand and issued a divorced Pune woman a renewed passport in her former married surname this week.

While this may come as a cause of celebration for many women, I somehow fail to see the logic and the 'fair play' in this...You've had your differences with a man you someday had loved, lived together with and shared your life with, but something happened down the line and you decided its best to move on. So what's the point of holding on to a name that you decided to give up already?

At the time of marriage, if you ask the bride what she is feeling most, chances are she will tell you she is going through an identity crisis - giving up the name she was born with, the name that gave her her identity, the name she was - and suddenly, she has a new name, a new identity, she is a new being altogether.

The name that tells the world you're a couple, that you're together, the name that you chose to share as man and wife. And when you decide to give up that part of your life, why is it that you would still want to hold on to that identity? Some women have pointed out that there's way too much paper work involved. But come on, just because there's a lot of government office running around to do and a lot of paperwork to fill, does it mean you keep that name as your identity, the owner of which was too difficult for you to keep in your life?

Maybe you would say Im being totally wrong here, but really, I can't get the logic of this, and if you do, kindly enlighten me more....

And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

India's Police Turns Moral Judge: Youngsters harassed by police for 'indecent' dancing in clubs !!

2011-09-30T12:37:00.000+05:30

So many things going on in the country and what do I see in the paper today?

In an effort to check the supposed 'indecent' behaviour in the city's pubs and discs, the police has now decided that in case there is still such 'indecent' behaviour going on within these walls, the bouncers of the place will be held responsible and will be charged and arrested !!!!

A few weeks ago police in Mumbai raided a lounge in Malad and took in 31 youngsters on the charge that they were dancing 'indecently' on a Saturday night inside the club!! The police fined them Rs.1200 each for 'indecent' behaviour under the Bombay Police Act before releasing them early morning. The police have justified their actions on 'moral grounds.'

This in a country that calls itself the largest democracy in the world, a country where you are an adult the day you turn '18' and are mature enough to elect your own government, get married and have kids. But one drink and one intimate dance inside the four walls of a throbbing disc and you are charged with being 'indecent.'

I was shocked to see the report in the papers and at the callous attitude of the police. We have all been in clubs and discs, dancing away the night, doing rounds of drinks with friends, getting drunk, behaving exactly the way youngsters should, letting your hair down and having a good time without causing any harm to anyone around or anywhere. After a week of hard work and stress its only natural that you look forward to a chilled-out weekend....and what's wrong if your stress buster is a night of loud music and dancing?

The police have constantly rounded up young couples in the city who have no space to snatch a few private and intimate moments together. What can really be a genuine and beautiful emotion is turned into something dirty and to be ashamed of. Youngsters are constantly harassed by the police in our country on grounds of 'morality'. And if we shake a leg within a dedicated place that is MEANT FOR DANCING, we are again called indecent !!!!

What a shame...when the country is faced with such critical issues of poverty, begging, child and woman abuse, lack of safety of our senior citizens, crime, theft, rapes, animal woes, unemployment, lack of proper education....all our police is doing is rounding up and harassing youngsters who are just out to have a good time on their own...

And like I always believe in and say: "Heal the world we live in Save it for our children" - MJ Debolina Raja Gupta

The Gym Mix

2011-09-27T12:29:00.000+05:30

Of late the fitness bug has bitten me again and Im back to my previous workout routine. A ligament tear in the knee and a general lazy attitude (I was born with it!) were the culprits to see me out of the gym for a long stretch. But now that I am back in action, it was obvious that I would be updating my tracks, as in the music ones, to keep pace with the steps on the treadmill and all.

I can't do without my phone while Im working out. I have to have to have to have my playlist blasting non-stop in my ear. And what better way than to have some non-stop sexy remixes playing out loud in your ear while you're working out?

Hubby recently told me about this site where you can actually go and create your very own playlist suited to the kind of workout you're gonna do. Im sorry I forgot the name of the site, but I remember it had something to with 'jog', so this is another site where you can visit and create your very own playlist to groove to while you're sweating it out ;)

To visit the site, click here

Now, they have a real cool way of letting you decide what music will work best for you.

First, listen to their sample tune and understand your pace, as in beats per minute.

Next, you have the choice of either buying and downloading the tunes through their sites, or simply choosing the different artists and genres and selecting your favs.

The final step lets you browse through their existing playlist based on your preferences, or create a fresh new playlist just for you. The best part is, it lets you arrange your tunes by BPM (Beats Per Minute) in a warm-up, workout, cool-down sequence, so it takes care of the entire stretch of your workout.

*******************************************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome: Cant sleep at night !!!!!

2011-09-21T17:10:00.000+05:30

I cant remember the last time I slept like a baby at night. I cant remember the last time I did not toss and turn in my sleep all night and woke up feeling tired and drowsy. I cant remember the last time when I had a really fresh day, one where I didn't feel sleepy even once......

Its been years and years now that I have had to hear from people close to me how lazy I am that I don't get up 'early' by instinct, that I am not perfect since I'm a late sleeper and a later riser. That there's something wrong with me because I don't follow the 'natural' pattern of 'early to bed early to rise.' Not that I never tried, its just that my body clock has never adjusted to this routine, and no matter how much I try, I can never fall asleep before at least 2:30-03:00am. and many times I am happily awake till even 5.30, when I finally begin to feel drowsy.Through the week I sustain on a maximum of 4, or if I'm lucky, then 5 hours of sleep a day. And on weekends, I try and recover as much of it as I can, though its not much really. I mean, how much can you sleep on a weekend anyway? I get irritated, sad, depressed, angry and upset that all my efforts to get into a 'proper' routine don't work, and hurt at the constant complaints about my schedule. Finally, my body gives up once in a month or so, and I simply am unable to get up from the bed, and have to sleep it off no matter what. This is also accompanied by body ache and fever, one that comes and goes for a few days, and finally, I feel a little refreshed, again to go back to that 4-5 hours of sleep forever....

So it was sort of an eye-opener when I read an article in the Mumbai Mirror today. I learnt that I was not the only one who was going through this tremendously strenuous routine. And I learnt that this 'lazy' and 'imperfect' lifestyle that I've been accused of having all my life is actually a medical condition which has finally been given a name. I am copying out the entire article here for your benefit. This is from the Mumbai Mirror edition of September 21 2011.

The article:
The world is divided into morning people and night people. For the latter, nothing makes sense until noon. They may be awake but they can't be roused, not even with the harsh tags of 'night owl', 'sleepyhead' or 'downright lazy'.

But at least for some, the inability to get into bed before 3 am or 4 am and out of it until the sun is high overhead could well be a disorder. A person suffering from Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (DSPS) finds it very challenging to fit into the mainstream sleep schedule of the world. Sleep medicine specialist Dr. Preeti Devnani, from Sleep Disorders Clinic, Khar, says DSPS is not easy to diagnose and is often confused with insomnia but is actually quite different.

Day Or Night
The internal body clock of a person with DSPS is typically out of whack with the sun. In other words, it is a disruption of their circadian rhythm. They can't follow the typical sleep-at-night, rise-in-the-morning routine that the rest of humanity follows.
They sleep late, often in the pre-dawn hours, and wake in the late morning or in the afternoon. And because they have to fall in line in order to get to work and be productive members of the economy, they often end up building up a huge 'sleep debt'. They may have difficulty thinking clearly and functioning optimally. This could, over time, lead to to clinical depression or other stress-related problems. However, if such people are allowed to follow their instincts, they wake up refreshed.
The problem is, DSPS patients find it very difficult to shift their routine, unlike 'owls' and 'larks'. Which is why you may find them working night shifts or in industries that allow them to start the day late. Joining Batman is probably one alternative.
Forced to work 9 to 5, these people may get only a few hours every night and then 'catch up' on the weekends, when they are not likely to opt for a morning trek. Some say this is like living with a jetlag.
The life of DSPS patients becomes a constant struggle. "It can lead to mood swings and depression. Sometimes, people end up self-medicating with alcohol," Dr Devnani says.

What Causes It?
For may, the night owl pattern is evident from childhood. They are unable to adjust to school hours. For others, the disorder develops during adolescence, sometimes because of late study hours. Research is relatively new in the area and some suggest this problem may be genetic. Studies show that the eye has a receptor that is sensitive to light. It is possible that some blind people maintain a regular schedule because they have this receptor. Similarly, some normally sighted people are deficient in this third kind of receptor and so do not entrain their schedules well to daylight. Also, body temperature varies on a daily cycle, rising during the day, peaking in the evening, and falling at night. For most people with DSPS, this temperature pattern shifts.

Treatments
While some specialists suggest there is no real cure for DSPS, Dr Devnani says the situation is not entirely hopeless. The condition can be managed with treatment.
The first step, of course, is to follow good sleep hygiene. Some of the other treatments include bright light therapy, which entails going out in the sunlight early in the morning or sitting in front of a bright light designed for this purpose. People suffering this disorder are also prescribed melatonin, the chemical that regulates the circadian rhythm. In chronotherapy, a person is asked to shift sleep time later instead of earlier. Typically, sleep time is shifted three hours later each day, all the way around the clock, until the desired schedule is reached.

CaseStudy:
Kalpesh Shah, 31, Mumbai:
I guess the price of living in this city is that you have trouble with sleep. No matter how early I got up, I couldn't sleep until 2.30 am or 3 am. I am a builder and need to get to work by 9am. As a result, I was running low on rest.
I suffered from anxiety, lethargy throughout the day as well as severe acidity. Even while I was asleep, my mind remained active and I kept tossing and turning. I thought it was insomnia. I looked it up online and decided I could do with some help.
The doctor at the Sleep Disorders Clinic asked me to maintain a sleep log. She also asked me to use a device for an actigraphy study, which monitors rest and wakefulness, and monitored the light in my room.
Dr Devnani told me I had DSPS. I didn't even know such a disorder existed. She gave me a lot of reading material.
While I was growing up, I would watch television late into the night. I used to work late and eat late. So my lifestyle was the culprit. I had to make major changes in my routine to get enough sleep at the right time.
I am not allowed tea after 4pm and don't smoke in the evenings. I have to finish dinner two hours before bedtime. I shower just before sleeping and have warm milk. I avoid light in the evening. My bedroom is for sleep only, no laptop or cellphone is allowed inside it. I have also started practising Yoga. I am now able to sleep earlier and feel fresh.'

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Our Senior Citizens....We Can Help

2011-09-19T15:14:00.000+05:30

For the past few weeks, every time I have opened the newspaper, the face of one or the other senior citizen has looked at me from the pages, another story of a victim of that sad phase of life that we call ‘old age.’ For the past few weeks, the same story has been playing around everywhere – senior citizen killed. And suddenly today, the Mumbai police seem to have woken up from its stupor and realized that yes, something is terribly wrong in the state, and that now, finally after so many victims being reported, something has to be done to keep them safe.

The police had indeed launched a helpline for the senior citizen. But what a shame when officials themselves admit that the help that was promised through the ‘help’line was not delivered. Reason? Not known….

None of us is away from such a scenario ourselves. If you look around you, chances are you will come across such senior citizens who are alone and left to take care of themselves. And isn’t it a sad life when your entire life you have devoted to your family and kids, but now that your kids are settled and living their own lives, all you are left with is loneliness and the years that are catching up fast. Only a few days back one of my friends was telling me that he is not interested in the concept of marriage, but the only reason he will eventually get married sometime is so that he has kids and partner in his old age who will take care of him…that, according to me, is such a wrong notion.

Case in point:
I know of a senior citizen couple in my building. Both the husband and wife are well above seventies. But looking at their zest for life, you would hardly realize the same. Both are immensely active, and believe in doing something for the society. Their kids are grown up and settled abroad. And now, the two are left to themselves.
Be it a daily chore like going to the market, or more rigorous work like maintenance of the house, driving out to get your work done, or even the regular checkups at the doctor, this couple is very much capable of handling everything themselves. But still, it does not mean that they would not love to have the support they should be having at this age and phase in life.
The auntie I am talking about is fit as a fiddle. Though she may be way ahead of us in age, her spirit and zest for life is much more active than many youngsters of today. Not only is she a champion social activist – she started teaching slum kids on a regular basis under a tree – she is also a yoga teacher and teaches people much younger her age.
The uncle too is very much independent. He likes to do things his own way and is always on his toes, participating in events and doing his work on his own.

So I was of course quite worried when I realized one fine day that uncle was finally really ill. Of course age catches up with us all sometime or the other, and this is only inevitable. But isn’t this the time when someone from the family should at least be present to help during the difficult times?

In today’s world, where time zones and geographies do so much to create distances, maybe it’s the neighbours who can at least take care of each other. Almost all of us have given up living in ‘houses’ now, the apartment concept is all-pervasive, at least in the metros and other bigger towns and cities. So with so many people around, is it okay if such elderly couples are still alone and helpless? If we can spare some time and effort in talking to them and giving them the assurance that no matter what, just a call and we will be there by their side, maybe they would have the trust to let us know next time they really need some help. Of course it takes time to trust someone completely, and they may not like your intervention in the first place. But let them know that you would love to accompany them to the doctor, or maybe run their grocery list when you go grocery shopping for yourself. These are little things that we can all take care of. Small gestures that will hardly cost you a penny or take away much of your time, but these will be those very same gestures that will mean a lot to a person who should ideally be sitting back and enjoying life right now.

******************************************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Whats Your Limit ??

2011-09-06T13:26:00.001+05:30

Just recently I was having a chat with a friend and we ended up talking about the age we got introduced to our first drink. Well, now let me tell you first of all that this friend is a total 'beer-obsessed' dude, and his love for beer is evident all across the social networking sites. So I was a little surprised to know he has 'other' obsessions too ;) of the liquid kind that is...I was not comparing, but was rather surprised when he told me had got to drinks already by the time he was 13 or so....what???!!!!!! 13 ??? And I thought kids that age were really still babies....Compared to that I would look like an old hag...my first drink wasn't before I was 21....but thats ok....I more than made up for it later I guess....Of late I have quit....well, not really 'quit' quit, though that WAS the plan, but yes, I have 'kind of' quit. So earlier if my fun would take me from shots to glass to bottles straight, now its limited to that one or two occasional peg...and its with much a heavy heart that I realised that that was actually my 'capacity'. Two down and I am as good as happy. And top it with a session on the dance floor and no bottles or shots can match my high.My friends though have a different story to tell. Some of them will go on and on and nothing ever happens, they are as good as fresh. Some of them will drink through the night and welcome the dawn, but still nothing will show - no signs of being drunk, not even happy, and forget about any slurry speech...... hmmm.... wonder how people manage that !!!! And the worst part......my two drinks are enough to give me a headache the next morning, while these 'drunks' actually wake up fresh !!!! Not a fair world this....******************************************************************************************************And like I always believe in and say:"Heal the world we live inSave it for our children" - MJDebolina Raja Gupta

Vellapanti...what? is that a word? no....just a way of life Im enjoying rite now ;)

2011-09-05T16:22:00.001+05:30

I know I know...its been ages and ages and ages I've been away from here. And that is so not allowed of a blogger, isn't it? When you don't show the due love and care to your blog and your friends who drop by, checking out what you write, thinking or talking about it, sharing their views, criticizing you, agreeing with you, and generally, making you feel good that someone somewhere is actually interested in what you're writing.....Well, I did miss coming back to my blog and interacting with you all for such a long time.But well, I was having a kind of a 'break' time. No, not like a post-breakup thingy, or anything remotely close. I meant, a break from schedules, a break from things that I generally do, a break from things that are so much a part of my life. I will confess I was pretty regular on my book blog though, but that too was very slow as compared to how much I read and write and review. If you live in any part of India, especially North India, you will be aware of the term Im gonna use now - vella....Well, you know what I mean....'vella' would actually mean a state of mind and being where you have nothing to do, where you are really 'useless', and that is what I wanted to be for some time now. No work and utterly useless. Of course there were certain things I still had to be doing.....like being with my daughter for example. But other than that, Iv been pretty 'useless' of late....and I must say I'm loving it.And this 'useless' phase was actually so useful. I ended up doing so many things I generally don't do, or didn't get time to do. I went on a long drive on a Harley Davidson bike to a fog-enveloped hilltop. That was a first and one-of-its-kind experience. I enjoyed the monsoon to the hilt this time, getting drenched at every opportunity, keeping the windows of my car down and soaking in the lovely wet air. I participated in and organised rallies in support of Anna Hazare and in support of the fight against corruption. I campaigned for India Against Corruption. I made many new friends. I deleted most of the 'friends' from my FB page (finally!!!), I celebrated my daughter's birthday at a nearby orphanage. I organised a donation drive for orphans. Im contemplating of getting back to some more studying (though I doubt it will actually happen). I made many new book-friends from all over the world. I got recognition as an international book reviewer. I made friends with authors, people from the publishing industry and media and teamed up to read and talk about their books. I managed to lose some extra kilos that I wanted knocked off and am back to the way I wanted to be (though I am still trying to reduce more...which girl doesn't?). So you see, I've been doing pretty much a lot lately. But yes, I will call all this as a state of being a 'vella', a useless good-for-nothing who does not want to go by the watch, who does not believe in set patterns, who does not want to take the road that has been taken by countless others before and has already been set for me....I want to remain a 'vella' for longer. I want to be out of rules and schedues and inhibitions ... I want to still live free.....And I want to live like this as long as I can be..... ****************************************************************************************************And like I always believe in and say:"Heal the world we live inSave it for our children" - MJDebolina Raja Gupta

Neeraj Grover Case: Indian Judiciary Vs. Public Outcry

2011-07-04T18:03:00.001+05:30

If you also feel that Neeraj Grover has been denied justice, join here and show your support. Neeraj Grover Justice Denied.

The Court’s Verdict:
The Indian Judicial System has given its verdict on the 01st of July 2011, 03 years after the brutal death, and Maria Susairaj has been set free. A Mumbai court sentenced Maria Susairaj to 03-years and her boyfriend Emily Jerome Matthew to 10 years in prison, but since Maria has already been in prison for three years, she has now been allowed to walk out free.

Maria has been set free by a Mumbai court and asked to pay Rs. 50,000 as compensation to Neeraj Grover's parents

Emily Jerome Matthew has been sentenced to 10 years in prison

Jerome and Maria in prison earlier

The People’s Verdict and Protests:

As news channels reported the verdict, there was widespread anger and disappointment among people everywhere who had been following the Neeraj Grover murder case for these last 03 years. And of course there is bound to be wide-spread criticism with this judgement, as it is justice denied to a young man who was killed in cold blood. As per a Mumbai court, Maria was only sentenced for destroying evidence, while Jerome was convicted under the less harsh 304 (1) section of Culpable Homicide not amounting to murder.

Neeraj Grover's parents break down on hearing the verdict. "If this is not murder, then where is my son?"

How can a woman who kills a young man be let off so easily? How can a person, who brutally kills and then chops up the body before burning it, be sentenced to only 10 years? What are the sentences for life imprisonment and execution reserved for then? Can there be any crime more heinous or more brutal than what Jerome has committed?

Earlier, Maria had confessed her role in the entire murder. Now, as soon she knew that Jerome was equally responsible in this, she shifted the onus of the blame on her boyfriend, conveniently changing her confessions and telling police that it was he who had done the murder, and then proceeded to rape her. Police did not find any signs of injury on her body, nor were there any marks of resistance on Jerome’s body. If it was rape, wouldn’t there be at least some form of resistance on Maria’s part? A girl who is in a committed relationship has sex with a single young man just to land herself a role, while she misleads the young man to believe that they are ‘together’, and all the while, the boyfriend in the long-distance relationship hears another male in his girl-friend’s bedroom at 2 in the night, and upon asking her to ask this man to leave, she promptly disconnects the call. And when he lands at her place before dawn, he finds them in the bedroom in a semi-naked state….doesn’t the girl have any part in the murder then? She has sex with this young man barely a couple of hours before he is killed in her own bedroom, then she has sex with her boyfriend in this very same bedroom, in front of the body of the young man with whom she had sex a while ago and then killed. Even if she says she did not kill him, she admits to picking up the chopped pieces of his body and dumping them in the bags one by one. And still the Indian Justice System feels that 03 years is punishment enough for this monster.

During the initial confessions, Jerome was simply made to look like an accomplice. Later, when Maria found her chance of dumping the ‘body’ weight on a different shoulder, she quickly chose Jerome as the scapegoat and decided she would let Jerome rot while she herself would come out clean. A man who kills a young man and then chops his body, then has sex in front of the body, before proceeding to fill up the body parts in the body and driving to find a perfect spot to burn it, is 10 years enough punishment for such a crime? Incidentally, Jerome has never given a confession, while Maria had confessed to killing Neeraj in the initial stages of the arrest.

Protests:

Friends and supporters of Neeraj Grover were detained and released by the Mumbai police earlier on Sunday for protesting without permission. They were marching from Malad to Juhu when the police intercepted and detained them. The protesters were however released from custody after a few hours. They then proceeded on a two hour long march. The protest ended with a candlelight prayer and the hope that their voices will be heard.

In the meanwhile, The Maharashtra Navnirman Sena (MNS) has said it will hold a protest if Maria Susairaj enters the entertainment industry. MNS said that it would do its best to stop any efforts made by media houses or film directors to cast Susairaj, and for one of the very rare times, I am in complete agreement with the MNS threats and really wish they carry out what they have threatened.

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Neeraj Grover, Maria Susairaj, Emily Jerome Matthew - The Case

2011-07-04T17:08:00.000+05:30

On a morning in May 2008, as I was sipping my morning tea with the day’s fresh news, an image of a man looked at me from between the pages. It didn’t take much to realise that this man was quite good-looking and in the prime of his youth, and his smile, that was just about to begin at the moment the picture had been clicked, was quite captivating, the smile of a young man who was happy with his life. It was then that I realised what the news was all about – about how a woman aspiring to be an actress had brutally murdered this young man, since he did not give her a break in the hindi TV industry.

On May 21, 2008, 27-year-old Maria Susairaj, a struggling wannabe Kannada actrees, along with her 25-year-old boyfriend Emily Jerome Matthew, made breaking news for 25-year-old Neeraj Grover’s brutal murder and subsequent attempt at destroying the evidence by burning the many pieces of his body. The starlet who was desperately trying to get a break in TV serials, and her boyfriend who was a bright Indian Navy officer, put an end to a young life, bringing an end to their own futures. Even as the nation was trying to believe this shocking news of how a couple could butcher a live young man for reasons so flimsy, police made the arrests and confessions and blames soon followed.

The case:
Investigations began after Neeraj Grover’s father approached the Malad police to file a missing complaint on May 07 2008. According to the police, Maria Susairaj had come to Mumbai in October 2007 and did an acting course (which she is now putting to good use in her press conferences). She then went to Bangalore, acted in 04 Kannada films, then came back to Mumbai to look for a big break. It was then that she met Neeraj Grover, who had, a few weeks ago joined as a top executive at Synergy Adlabs and was earlier working as creative head at Balaji Telefilms.
As police arrested Maria with ample evidence, she led them to an isolated spot on the outskirts of the city, a fortnight after Neeraj’s father had filed the missing complaint. The police recovered what remained of Neeraj Grover’s body – his body had been chopped into several small pieces with a kitchen knife and stashed in three duffel bags that were later burnt by the couple to destroy evidence. The police claim the couple had sex after Neeraj was killed, but this statement was later turned by Maria to ‘Emily raped me’. How convenient! And thus began her game of shifting the entire blame on her then boyfriend (I am assuming they are no longer a couple after what happened…but who knows..maybe Ram Gopal Verma will know)
According to the police, Maria started getting intimate with Neeraj to gain a role in one of his serials, and Neeraj had told his friends that he was in love with Maria. On being interrogated, Maria told the police that it was a ‘one-sided affair’.

Maria and Jerome had known each other from their schooldays and their friends say that it was hard for them to believe that Jerome, who was felicitated by former president A.P.J. Abdul Kalam a year before the murder, and Maria, who had a bright future in acting and dancing, could be involved in such a heinous act. The introvert Jerome was the school captain and brilliant in academics, he had even won a gold medal for topping his Navy course.
Maria is the daughter of influential parents, her father is a builder in Mysore, and Jerome is the son of a retired bank clerk.
On the night of May 06 2008, Neeraj came to Dheeraj Solitaire Building in Malad (West) where Maria was shifting into a one-bedroom flat and Neeraj was supposed to help her with the shifting. As they were chatting, Maria’s boyfriend Jerome called her mobile, and overheard a voice (that of Neeraj) asking her “Is that your boyfriend?”
According to police, Jerome knew about Neeraj, but Maria had told Jerome that it was one-sided and only Neeraj had a soft corner for her. It was proven in examinations that Neeraj and Maria had sex before the murder and Jerome and Maria had sex after the murder……!
Jerome was angry at Neeraj’s presence at Maria’s place and asked her to make him leave. But she disconnected and after repeated attempts when he was unable to reach her, he called Neeraj and asked him to leave. Neeraj stayed at Maria’s flat till 04am. 03 hours later the bell rang and Maria opened the door to let in Jerome, who had taken a 03:45am Air India flight to Mumbai. When Jerome found Neeraj in her bedroom, he woke him up and the two fought bitterly before Jerome got a knife from the kitchen and stabbed him in the chest, attacking him constantly till he was dead. Neeraj's last words before his last breath were a heart-rending 'Maria! Maria!' This to was confessed by Maria herself.
After this Jerome and Maria had sex. The two then decided on what would be the best way to dispose of the body - to chop him up, disposing his body parts in three duffel bags and then burning up the pieces.
Around noon, Maria went to HyperCity and bought two large bags, a large bread-knife, air fresheners and new drapes to replace the bloodstained ones at home. They had decided that she would pay cash, but when she fell short of Rs. 800 on a purchase of Rs. 2000, she used her debit card. According to her, Jerome dragged the body to the bathroom, where he chopped it into several pieces and handed it to Maria, who then put each piece in the bags. This took more than three hours and they also put the blood-soaked clothes in the bag. Maria then called a choreographer friend and borrowed his Hyundai Santro. The couple then went to the friend’s flat in an auto and returned in the car after picking petrol in a jerry-can. They brought the bags down from their home in the lift and loaded them in the car, while Maria introduced Jerome to the building watchman as her friend.
Maria confessed to the police after the arrest that while training at INS Shivaji at Lonavla, Jerome had made several trips from Mumbai to Daman and Diu and was aware of many isolated forest areas on the way. They drove for about three hours before finding an isolated spot near Manor, Thane. They then dumped the bags there and doused it with petrol.
In the evening Neeraj’s friends came to Maria’s house looking for him, but she told them he had left. She gave them his mobile phone, saying he had forgotten it. Later, she accompanied the friends to the Malad police station to report him missing. The next day she got her entire flat repainted. When the couple was called to the Malad police station the next day, he told them he was in the city for a training course, but unknown to him, the Naval authorities in Kochi had already declared him missing.
On 12th May, Maria and four friends went to the office of the police commissioner and asked for help in tracking Neeraj. After they introduced themselves, the commissioner told Maria that she had nearly helped end the search as the prime suspect was sitting in front of him. It was then that Maria broke down, and after the initial hesitation, confessed to everything.

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Neeraj Grover Justice Denied - Ram Gopal Verma Uses Maria For Yet Another Publicity Stunt

2011-07-04T15:04:00.002+05:30

A middle-aged loser, whose name to fame are a few forgotten movies, movies that opened to empty movie halls and helped the viewers fall asleep for a good three hours – a good deed indeed, making the stressed-out public get some rest in the hustle bustle of a busy day.

So now, this middle-aged man with a thick accent and a useless face that disgusts anyone the moment he opens his mouth to make us faint with his verbal diarrhoea, who has now had his share of putting the public to sleep with his movies is out of any more projects, the next step is to get on to subjects that are sure to grab eyeballs and give him instant free publicity.

Now that he has mastered the art of creating horrible and never-to-have-been-made movies, his next way to try and be in the limelight is to resort to cheap publicity stunts.

If you remember the horrific days when the entire nation sat glued to their TV sets, still trying to take in the tragedy brought on by the terrorists in Mumbai, where was Ram Gopal Verma? If you were watching the television then, you would have suddenly sat up and realised that Ramu was one of those along with the then Maharashtra CM VilasRao Deshmukh, who were out on a tour of the Taj hotel to see the damage left behind. The entire nation erupted in disgust and shock as we realised that Ram Gopal Verma was scouting for another eyeball-grabbing stunt to create a movie. This created much public outcry, and RGV was the reason for Vilas Rao Deshmukh stepping down as CM, something that he well deserved for doing something so uncalled-for.

And now, RGV has done it again. Without any regard for the emotions of old grieving parents who will never be able to come out of the shock of losing a strappy young boy with a promising future, and a family that has been left to grive its loss forever, Ram Gopal Verma has not only gone ahead and made a movie based on the gruesome murder of Neeraj Grover, saying it was just a bizzare coincidence that the date of the movie’s first look and the verdict clashed on the same day, he has now opened his verbal diarrhoea again and expressed his desire to cast this murderer b#$%^ Maria Susairaj in his movie. Expressing sympathy towards this killer woman, RGV says that if not for ‘this incidence’, Maria may have well been a movie star by now, and since this was not so, he will try and give her the opportunity now. By the way, ‘this incidence’ happens to be the gruesome planned murder of a young innocent man, chopping up his body into hundreds of pieces, putting it in gunny bags and disposing the parts, and then burning the body parts….but for RGV, this was just another incident that proved to be a hindrant to the aspirations of a useless woman who wanted to be an actress, but ‘ended up being labelled a murderer’ (as mentioned by RGV).

Reacting to the public outcry that came after RGV showed interest in casting Maria in a movie, Ramu said that he fails to understand the reason behind the anger, as his movie is only 'inspired' by the case, and not based on the Neeraj Grover murder. Neeraj's parents are angry and extremely hurt at this blatant use by Ramu of their tragedy to gain fame, the pain of losing their young son will never go away, but what Ramu is doing, that too without any intimation or permission from Neeraj's parents, is what hurts them most. Dismissing the Grover parents' grief as an emotional outburst, Ramu rationalizes, "How can they stop my film when it isn't their son's story? I am interested in the psychology of the case. How could sane sensible seemingly civil law-abiding citizens behave in this way? The two people who actually plotted and carried out the murder seem most incapable of such a heinous act."

And now, following in his dirty footsteps is of course the ‘creative team’ of Bigg Boss, who are planning to cast her in their next at a whopping fee ….. see, this is what a murderer is rewarded with in India. And a justice system that puts the punishment of killing a young man at 03 years.

If you feel Neeraj Grover has been denied justice, visit here and show your support. Neeraj Grover Justice Denied

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

My Book Lover Friend From Across The Globe

2011-07-04T01:09:00.001+05:30

Some time back I had written a post about a book I had read almost 11 years back, borrowed from a friend and read with too much interest. It was a book that was really close to my heart, but one that I had not been able to finish as the last chapters were missing, and till date I never found out about the book as even its cover and name/author pages were missing.

Every time I visited a book store I would keep scanning the cover jackets, hoping to read a description of the story I was looking for. I would ask about the book at bookstores, in the hope that someone may remember having read it or had heard about it and would finally lead me to it. I would even keep my eyes open at the re-sale bookstores, in the last hope that someone, maybe someone, would decide to part with that awesome book for some reason and I would finally get it.

None of this ever happened of course. And as I had no clue about the book except a fading storyline, I knew there was no way for me to find the book and finally, after years and years of trying, I had lost all hope.

Then, a couple of weeks back I got a mail from this wonderful lady named Kate Carpenter, who had read about this book description on this blog and referred me a name. Read more
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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Thanks For Being So Blessed

2011-06-24T01:01:00.000+05:30

Its been a while now that I decided to bring our personal habit of feeding street kids home-made food out in the open and urging others to do the same. So I started the group 'Feed A Kid Every Saturday' on FaceBook and must say, the response has been quite good. While many people were upset that I was setting a wrong example by giving food for free to these little ones, others understood my point that these are just little innocent babies out there, and should not be made to 'earn' their basic right of getting clean food once in a while at least, if not more. Thanks to all those who joined and are spreading the word.

Yesterday we visited the mall for some work, of course nowadays, with the mall culture exceptionally 'routine' in Mumbai (I can say for Mumbai coz I am now based here), we visit the mall for every little thing, be it vegetables or fancy shoes and what have you. So there we were, me and hubby checking out the said stuff, when suddenly my daughter (who is just about to be 4 soon) came up with a new Barbie in her hand..My reaction was 'Not again!!' and ditto for hubby. But after many tears and sobbing and crying, we, as always, relented. A mere doll cost us INR 1300/-, just like that.

Today, I was out with my daughter, and as our auto stopped at the red signal, a little cute boy, hardly 03 years old, walked up with a plastic lid in hand, asking for money. His smile was cherubic even as he was matted with dirt and grime from the streets. As he came to my auto, he smiled and looked up at me. I swear I could have picked him up in my arms then and brought him home...I literally wiped the tears away. I sadly didn't have any food on me, so I shook my head. He smiled and went away to ask someone else. I looked at the pavement nearby. There were 06 of them, starting from age 02 to about 06. And a lone undernourished woman. She had a piece of bread in her hand and was breaking it and giving everyone one tiny piece.

I turned and looked at my daughter, who was elder in age to that little one who had just come asking for money with that sweet smile (he of course doesn't even understand what begging is!)....,my daughter - protected, loved, cared for, and made to know that she is precious....thats our blessing.

And as I turned one last time to look at those little ones there, I said to myself...what a horrible world......

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Nation Wakes Up To Ash's Pregnancy, The Front Page Style

2011-06-23T00:57:00.000+05:30

Woke up today morning, and as I opened the newspaper, there it was - the new that made it to the front page sidelines on merit of its belly owner (and the entire lineage behind it!) that Aishwarya Rai Bachchan is pregnant and that Mr. Amitabh Bachchan has excitedly tweeted about it.

Well..............

Ya, Sorry I kept that sentence above only till 'Well', was wondering what to write now. Both the front pages of Times of India Mumbai edition and the Bombay Times Supplement had the same news screaming at the front page sidelines..it was as if they were just waiting when the B family of B town would announce this pregnancy.
As reported, the 38-year-old actress is expecting their first child and the Bachchans are obviously ecstatic...

So while I was talking to hubby over the phone in the day, I told him about this 'BIG' event that has happened in the country today....
Me: you know the front page news today...the breaking news rather...Aishwarya Rai is pregnant.. ;)
Hubby: Oh...hmmmm....yaa....wasn't me ;)

LOL

Congratulations to the proud parents and the entire family :)

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Happy Father's Day Baba

2011-06-19T11:19:00.000+05:30

Happy Father's Day Baba....

Father's Day is being celebrated today all across the world....of course each day is special, and like we all say, we don't need to have one single day to express our love for that person who means so special to us. But sometimes it does feel special when you wish someone specially and call it 'their' day, doesn't it? I too feel that the love I have for my baba, my father, is always the same, whether I call him and express it or whether I just keep it in my heart. But living away in a different city, it does feel good to pick up the phone and give a call to wish 'Happy Father's Day'...I can see the smile on his face even from this distance :)

I called my baba midnight last night and wished into the phone...He wasn't expecting a call, he does not keep track of these days, only our birthdays and anniversaries, just like all parents.....but I knew instantly that he felt really happy.

I have always been a daddy's girl, and still am. And I know this is true for most of us daughters. We just love to be called our father's daughter, don't we? Not that we love our mums less, but it's just a father-daughter thing I guess.

I dont need to send him a gift, just hearing my voice on the phone makes his day...And you know what, I am really grateful for having him as my father....for the way that he is and always will be with me, without any conditions attached...I love you baba....

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Ages Away

2011-06-19T10:57:00.000+05:30

Its been ages and ages that I last visited this space. Of course there are no excuses for not doing what I like best - sitting down and jotting my thoughts and getting connected with such lovely people from all across the globe. Blogging happened by chance to me, but once I got the hang of it, it was really something that I enjoyed doing, sometimes even in the middle of the night.

Of late, too many things piled up together and I really was not able to get back here. Well, I did keep thinking of all those friends of mine who often visit me here, read what I write and think, and then share their own views with me and the other users. I did miss all that and I hope you all have been having a lot of fun in the meanwhile.

Something really wonderful has been happening on my book-reading and book-blogging front. Its something Iv really taken up with a lot of fun and interest, of course thats the next step for any bookworm, to write and talk about books, isn't it? So there have been authors from abroad who have sent me their book copies for me to read and review, there have been people in India who have shared their book with me and asked me to review it and talk about it on my book blog, and there has also been some tie-up with blogging sites who have begun sending me books to review and talk about....really really exciting and all happening at the same time ... Im super excited :D

And I just recently received my pre-ordered copy of Amitav Ghosh's second in the Sea of Poppies trilogy - River of Smoke....I was so so excited when I received my copy in the mail .... yippeeee.........

If you are into books and literature and would love to have a peek at my book blog, heres the link for all book worms : The Book Worm

And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Feed A Kid Every Saturday

2011-05-25T00:45:00.001+05:30

I know this is not a post related to books in any way, but when I see so many kind souls out here who keep dropping by this blog, I can't but help make a genuine request to each one of you.

I am Debolina from Mumbai, India, as many of you already know. I am really passionate about street kids and try and help them in my own way as much as I can. But I am really a single individual really, and there is only so much I can do. Its really a big challenge you know, to try and give even the basic of basic amenities to these little ones out there on the streets...to try and give them a little slice of this beautiful thing we call Life...which they really don't have, while we have too much of it...don't we?

Till date, I and my husband have been going out and feeding these little ones on the street. We cook at home and take a meal once a day each weekend for these kids on the streets. But it really pains me to see the number of hungry and extremely poor kids who turn out asking for some food, while I have to sadly ask them to leave, as I don't have any more food left to distribute then. Its really one of the saddest and most humbling experience ever.

My husband gave me this idea to try and get people together from all over the world and instead of just us doing this, why don't WE ALL try and give a little bit of smile and sunshine to these kids?

Beginning this Saturday, the 28th of March, and for all Saturdays to come, lets join the 'Feed A Kid Every Saturday' movement... The reason to stress on Saturday is that most people are off work on a Saturday and hence have more time to do their bit. Of course if you can do this even on the week, nothing better than that...I am stressing everyone to atleast feed one hungry child out there, but if you want to share more love, of course you can feed more children, isn't it?

We see these kids everywhere..outside restaurants, outside malls, on the roads, at traffic signals. Everywhere..Little children selling flowers and toys and balloons, even while it's their time to play with all this and enjoy this beautiful thing we take for granted called life...

You may have given them a few rupees, or bought their wares, paid them and gone your way. But how many times have you got them a meal for a change? Instead of the money, why not feed these little hungry mouths? If EACH one of us feeds atleast ONE KID EACH SATURDAY, imagine how many children will get access to clean and real food. A sandwich, a meal, rice and dal, fruits...anything...Just go out there and make it a point to try and feed atleast one kid each Saturday.

Spread the word on your blog, on FaceBook, on Twitter, through mail, through phone, in person, in any way you can. And it would be really wonderful if you could actually go ahead and feed them. And if you could urge your friends to do so too. Do it more times a week if you can. Feed many kids if you can.....but atleast start doing it......they really need all the love they can get...they really need you.... Get as many people as you can from all parts of the world to join and take part... And thank you for doing this....really...."

Click here to join and please bring in as many people as you can. You can do your bit in your part of the world. And don't forget to share the pictures on our FaceBook Page and also tell us about your experience...

I thank you with all my heart for sharing your time and effort for this, and I wish you all the very best in life...Thank you for sharing the love.....

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And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ

- Debolina Raja Gupta

My Book Reading Challenges This Year 2011

2011-05-19T13:38:00.000+05:30

Wow, so last night, I finally managed to find the perfect three book-reading challenges that I am going to try and finish this year (of course I will bring in more challenges as and when I find the ones that are to my liking...honestly, most of them are, but I know I wont be able to finish even one if I start up on ALL of those ;) )

So here are my book-reading challenges that I am starting for 2011 as of now. Click on the name of the challenge to know about the rules and more...

Have a look and do feel free to join in and leave a comment in this post to let us know if you too are taking this challenge simultaneously :) Have fun...

My Book-Reading Challenges For 2011: Click on the challenge names below to know more:

1. Alphabet Challenge
2. Cover Love Challenge
3. Off The Shelf Challenge

- Debolina Raja Gupta`

Book-Reading Challenge 2011 For Little Ones And Parents

2011-05-19T13:34:00.001+05:30

I am an active book blogger and member of many book blogs and contests, as well as personal book challenges that are just so much more fun and interesting. While I was going through my own list of book-reading challenges, I thought it would be fun to start a very own book-reading challenge for our little ones...and why not?

This is definitely not a contest, but just a fun way of making book-reading a little more interesting for our little ones (and even for us)!! You can choose to complete as much of the challenge at your own sweet will, it does not mean that you have to make your little one rush through a book just to complete a challenge. A book is something most of us have grown up with, something that is very much a part of our lives and who we are, and some of us would sure want to pass this love of books down to our children.

I am just making up two different kinds of book challenges for our little ones and parents. Click on the given section to know more about each of the challenge...

1. I Love Alphabets Book-Reading Challenge (click here to know more about the challenege)
2. Colourful Book Covers Book-Reading Challenge (click here to know more about the challenege)

Have fun and drop a comment on this post to let us know you are taking the challenge...Bravo !!! And visit the challenge posts and do share your book list with other little ones and parents by dropping in a comment :) Enjoy your books now :)

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And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ

Happy Parenting!!!!

Be good to your little one, and to the millions of little ones out there who truly need every bit of love and compassion they can get.....Be a grown up...save the little ones....

Debolina Raja Gupta

Share Share Share....No No Never....

2011-05-16T00:15:00.007+05:30

This last month I have been really appalled by the lack of basic human feelings like compassion in many well-to-do grown-ups I know or have randomly met. While these incidents I will mention below are not a surprise (I come across them ALL the time!!! and still can't believe people can be so crass), I still can't get used to them yet, and hope I never will. Please do not make any comment praising the deed, its not to mention what I have done, but to bring home the fact that a little compassion and love from every single one of us can really make us into the kind of human being we would want our children to look up to.

Instance 1:
On a hot sunny afternoon, I spot a little street kid, about four-years, eyeing a cool cocnut water stall, a tiny smile at the corner of his mouth just imagining that luxury. A rich young woman stands in perfect clothes and shades, waiting for her coconut.
"Are you giving him a coconut?" (I ask her pointing to the boy)
"No no...of course not, Im not giving him anything" (a scowl and a disgusted expression, as if the thought itself would give her a contagious non-curable disease)
I handed the boy a coconut water, another once he finished the first one, and can still see his smile light up his face.....The shopkeeper gave me one of those expected weird looks..
The whole episode took me about 5-8 minutes and cost me Rs. 40/-

Instance 2:

On a hot summer day I was at the market and I saw this little boy, about 4-5 years, walking with his beggar mother, two plastic bags tied on his dry and blistered feet in place of a sandal. I went to the boy and asked him to come with me. The begging woman followed and on the way called out to a couple of more women. I took the boy to a shoe shop right at the market and asked the shopkeeper to show me a pair of sandals in the size of the little boy. He looked at me as if I had lost it, not that I have not seen this reaction from more so-called educated and cultured people before.
"Madam, isske liye chahiye? Ye kya karega chappal ka?" (Madam, you want it for him? What will he do with these sandals?!!)
"Aap chup chaap chappal dikhaao, paise mil rahey hain na?" (You just show me the sandals and don't talk rubbish, you're getting paid, isn't it?)
The man showed me a pair and I handed him the money and gave the sandals to the little boy, who first held it in his hands and kept smiling, as if cherishing a brand new remote-control car toy, or a brand new set of designer clothes...He still couldn't believe it was his own pair. I smiled and asked him to wear them. He finally took off his 'plastic bag shoes' and wore 'real' sandals, walking around in them proudly..And gave me a huuuuge smile, one that still tears my heart.
The shopkeeper gave me that weird look, the people in the nearby shops too..
The whole episode took me about 10 minutes and cost me Rs. 60/-

Instance 3:
I usually cook a meal for the street kids once a week and take it to the signals where they beg. The moment I come out of the car with the packets, they know their food has arrived and one child calls out to another and soon there are about 10-12 kids, from babies to 10-year-olds, all waiting with big smiles for something to go in their tummy. They always give me these huge smiles and say 'thank you didi'.The adults too start coming in, but I shoo them away with a stern warning, and until the kids are done eating, I try and be there to save their food being snatched away by the grown-ups.
Many times I just stand at the signals with these kids while they are eating, and all those people who pass by look at me like I am some dirty maggot-infested creature...as if I care!!! They give me these looks, sometimes young guys hoot, but no one has ever come forward and shared anything with these little ones....
The whole episode takes me normal cooking time like I do for my family, about 15 minutes of waiting as these kids are really hungry and eat up pretty fast, and costs me a normal rate of what a home-cooked meal of vegetable rice, dal and one fruit would cost for about 10 kids.

Instance 4:
There is always a bag of biscuit packets in the car that we hand out to kids begging on the streets. And each time we do so, there are many stares from those nearby. A woman will nudge her husband and show them what we did, a couple will look at us and give us a smile....thats all...

Instance 5:
At a market me and my friend met a small boy about 5, begging and asking for food. I asked him if he wanted some food from nearby.
"Didi, vada pav khila do." (Sister, I want to have vada-pav)
"Chal, yahaan kahaan milta hai le chal." (Take me wherever its available here)
He began hopping towards food and we followed. At the stall, by now you know what we got...of course, those stares, when I asked the man to give the boy a plate of whatever he wanted. We also got him three plates packed to take away after he ate. He went away saying 'thank you didi' and we came back a tad more sad, a tad more upset that there is not much we can do.....And those men standing at the stall were still finding us funny and smiling...
The whole episode took me about 10 minutes and cost me about Rs.30/-

Instance 6:
Was having a soothing cold coffee and yummy sandwich at an open CCD. Two little boys, aged about 6, stood on the road, staring at all the food at all the tables. As I went out, they came up and said "Didi, paise mat do, khaan de do...bhook lagi hai." (Sister, don't give us money, give us something to eat, we are very hungry.)
As I was rushing out to drop someone, I asked them to wait there and said I would come back with food in a while.
"Theek hai didi, hum idhar hi rukengey...khaana laaogey na?" (Alright sister, we will wait right here. You will bring food, won't you?)
I nodded and went away, returning some time later with a bag of food packed for the little ones.
As I got out of the car, the boys came over, beaming, their hands taking the food and eating right there. The people seated at the tables looked at us and gave us those patronizing smiles, pointing me to each other, and I heard one well-dressed lady say 'Oh look, she actually came back to give food" as if it was the most amusing thing she had ever seen.
The whole episode took me about 10 minutes and cost me about Rs. 40/-

So you see....not much of a difference in reaction here from our educated and cultured friends.....nothing to write about really...But that smile on those little ones' faces and that little happiness for a few minutes that someone may someday care for them too..that's precious...believe me....

**********************************************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

I care for the countless little ones out there...Do you?

am too busy to care, but want to do something. Jaago Re and BlogAdda.com are helping me do my bit for the society.

I AM by ONIR - MUST WATCH

2011-05-01T23:55:00.003+05:30

“We don’t make such movies by choice, this is what the audience wants; we just cater to their choice” – for ages, each Bollywood movie-maker with a disgustingly shitty movie to his credit has claimed as an excuse for doling out a dud on screen. Well, if this is in fact the reality, I am glad that Indian audience is so powerful, because that is how we get a movie as brilliant as I AM, right?

Onir’s powerhouse movie has been released in India after it has already bagged numerous international awards across the globe, more importantly so, the awards that really matter, not (thanks to good sense), waiting for those pre-decided and dolled-up awards like FilmFare and Stardust awards that the thinking people are categorically giving a clear miss of late.

I AM is about four different stories from different backgrounds, the characters somehow related but not really connected to multiple stories. Each story becomes more of an identity in itself in the end.

The first story, I AM Afia, is the story of a young and modern woman Afia (Nandana Sen). Set in Kolkata, it takes us through the life of the protagonist, her success in her career and her desire to start a family. It talks about the choice of IVF, about a woman wanting to have a baby by injecting someone else’s (Purab Kohli) sperm in her own body, of putting a stranger scientifically in her being and bringing to life a baby who only she will mould as she can. Her choice to go ahead shocks all those close to her, the most apparent reason being that she is a woman and should not take such decisions herself. Afia’s story talks about a modern woman in a modern country, still justifying her actions to everyone and getting lost each day in trying to convince people around her that yes, just by taking a big decision herself, she does not automatically become ‘abnormal.’

The second story, I AM Megha, is about Megha (Juhi Chawla), a displaced Kashmiri Pundit, who now lives in Kolkata but faces constant pressure from her family to go back to Srinagar. Running away decades ago along with her family from riot-torn Srinagar after a family member is killed and the house looted, Megha finds it hard to understand her family’s constant yearning for that ‘lost’ paradise. She has decided never to go back again. But Srinagar she does visit once, to sell off the old house, a house she grew up in, in which now live her best friend (Rubina – Manisha Koirala) and her family. The best friend is a Muslim, and though they offer love and look upon Megha as their own, the latter cannot forget the horror that the Muslims had inflicted earlier. Memories of a wonderful childhood spent together keep coming back, but there are enough memories in the present to bring back the hurt and the anger. As Megha is set to depart, Rubina finally breaks her silence and tells her to imagine just for a second how life would have been if instead of Megha, Rubina had run off to a free land, while Megha would still be stuck in a terrorist-stricken army-controlled ‘paradise’.

The third story, I AM Abhimanyu, is the story of Abhimanyu (Sanjay Suri), a young man who still cannot decide about his sexual orientation, who is trying to come out of a horror-filled past, a scary childhood, and the confusion of understanding his own sexuality. Set in Bengaluru, the story talks about child molestation and how, most victims of child sex abuse, are in danger from someone from within the family itself.

The fourth and final story, I AM Onir, is about Onir (Abhimanyu Singh) and Jai (Rahul Bose). The story, set in Mumbai, shows the plight of young adult males in the country, of their choice to be with a same-sex partner, but the lack of space in the city where two mature men can be together in privacy, where a feeling of love can be respectfully shared without being harassed by society, and, most important of all, by the moral brigade, the police.

The beauty of I AM lies in the direction, the acting, the picturisation, and of course, the setting. Each and every shot has a meaning, each dialogue, each pause, each silence, talks words and emotions that build up a story. The characters are completely real and believable, so much so, that out of all the characters you see in this ‘real’ movie (which has been inspired by real events), you are sure to identify with atleast one, if not more. Shot like a hand-made movie, the settings are real, with ‘real’ background sound giving it that much more feeling of ‘believable’. The accents, the spattering of the local lingo of all four states, the ‘real’ locations, the everyday humdrum of life, all come together to give you a feeling of watching someone’s life up close and personal. You sometimes forget you are watching a movie, especially in some scenes where you react verbally, and realise the person sitting next to you in the hall is also reacting in the same way. A movie worth the wait, a movie finally that talks about the ‘different’ people in a way that does not make fun, that does show that the ‘different’ people too have a right to their choice, that life is not always what it seems, that in everything we do, sometimes, its okay to just let go and move ahead. A movie that will stay with you for some time, that will give you more than your ticket’s worth. A serious movie, no typical naach-gaana, so if you are going with the thought of being entertained the ‘typical’ way, please stay away.

****************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Child Alone In Car... Never

2011-04-12T12:45:00.001+05:30

Yesterday I went to the market with my little one. As we were parking the car, I saw another car standing right on the side of a busy market road, with hundreds of cars and bikes and buses and vans rushing past. As I looked out, I saw a toddler, a boy of about 3-4 years, sitting on the driver's seat and fiddling with the steering wheel, and, the car keys, while all windows were closed. I tried to look inside the car and, to my horror, saw that the child was alone in the car. Even as our car came to a standstill, a man, the baby's father, came rushing out of a shop, and on seeing his son in the driver seat, quickly came over and opened the car door from the driver's side. I had full intentions of getting down and taking this further, but even before we pulled up and stopped, the careless and irresponsible father had driven off, this time putting the baby alone at the back, that too without a car seat!!!! Of course, what else could I have expected of him?

This is not a one-off case, and many parents who read this will not make much of it. For many parents, especially Indian parents, this is a common scenario, and if they are themselves not guilty of doing something similar, they find this pretty routine, and hardly confront a parent/person who has neglected a child in this manner. Abroad, this is a punishable offence, neglecting your child calls for charges and the accused parent faces investigation. In India, this 'chalta hai' attitude (its okay) is worming its way into our daily lives, and how.

As the heat wave spreads across the country, many children are again placed in grave danger by their own parents or caregivers. The scare is especially increased during vacations, when children are home all the time and parents have to tag them along for everyday errands. It is a common sight many times in India to see parents keep a child buckled to the seat, while they get down from the car and complete their many errands nearby. The parent(s) complete one errand after the other, keeping an eye on the child in between, while the little one is exposed to the danger of heat stroke or severe dehydration. Many parents do not realize the danger they are placing their child in by keeping them buckled or locked in an empty waiting car. If the car is safely parked, the child is safe – this is what many parents think. But this misconception is what puts our little ones in such danger.

As parents, it is a cause of much happiness to see our little ones sleeping peacefully. As it is, these moments are few and far between, and many times, while driving, when our little ones fall asleep, as parents we take all the precautions to make sure that nothing disturbs that precious sleep. So, if your destination has arrived and you know it’s just going to take you ten minutes to finish that errand and be back in the car, many parents feel it is okay, and in fact better, to let the child sleep peacefully, rather than wake them up and end up making the little one cranky and irritable. Also, if you are able to keep an eye on your child while you are finishing your work, what can go wrong, isn’t it?

Parents come in all thoughts and manners - some parents take that supposed precaution of cracking one window a little open, to let the basic amount of air come in; some feel it is okay to keep the car completely sealed while baby waits inside; some parents lock the car and keep the keys with them, while some make do by just closing the door and keeping the keys inside the car. Some parents keep the little ones buckled up in their car seats, or, since India is the country where parents and elder family members still need to be sent to a school to know the importance of a car seat, many keep their children, simply, inside the car. Like I said, parents come in all kinds of intelligence and mentality.

A baby left alone in a waiting car in the heat will always pose the threat of heat stroke, or severe dehydration, not to mention cases of theft and towing. In a shocking incident in America, a mother lost her 6-year-old son when she stepped out of her car to buy him some juice from a sandwhich shop. Even before she could reach the shop, a car thief spotted the keys inside the car and decided to steal it, despite the presence of the child in the back seat. The mother tried to free her child from the moving vehicle, but he became tangled in the seatbelt. She was knocked from the car as the driver sped away, dragging her 6-year old boy behind.

No parent should face this worst nightmare ever, and in this case, sadly, it was only the mother who can be blamed for what happened to the child. She lost her baby, and for life, the shock and grief, and not to mention, the guilt of putting her child in this fatal situation, will forever remain with her.

Keeping any child alone in the car is dangerous and should never be done. Period. No arguments, no logic about why you kept your child alone in the car. If you are getting out of the vehicle and there is no adult inside to accompany the child, you HAVE to bring the baby out of the car and take them with you. Period.

Abroad, a parent or person who shows negligence towards a child is dealt with severely. Authorities have begun to investigate such cases strongly and parents can be charged with negligence and endangerment. Most Indian parents will think of this as severe, but this is the only way to send out a message to such erring parents. And to keep your child protected, nothing is ever too much.

So next time you see a parent abandoning a child alone, get out there and make a noise. Tell them what they are doing wrong and make them feel ashamed of this gross carelessness towards their little ones.
**********************************************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Letter To The PM Manmohan Singh By A Common Man

2011-04-07T15:25:00.003+05:30

Every time we sit with friends over a cup of tea or drinks, each time we see those poor kids begging at the traffic signals, or the slum dwellers living together with sewage water and shit, or babies playing in dumpyards while their parents work as rag-pickers, there is one thought that mostly comes to our minds - whats happening to India? Where is all the money I am paying as an honest tax-payer? Why isn't the government doing anything with that money to help these poorest of the poor, these wretched of the wretched? Why is it that even after we pay so much as tax-money, we, the common people, still have to think twice, twice again, and again and again, before making any big purchase...Something as simple as getting an expensive hospital treatment, or as precious as buying your own house, becomes a big issue for the common man....But why? And have we ever taken the steps to question those who are responsible for quietly doing away with all this money while we slog it out?

My husband decided it was time someone made it clear to the PM Manmohan Singh that enough is enough, and to let him know that he is completely answerable to us, the common people....Read on...

'The Prime Minister’s Office
Room No 148B
South Block
Raisina Hill
New Delhi – 110001

Dear Prime Minister,
I am the kind of person anyone would miss noticing. I work 12 hours a day and travel 2.5 hours a day to reach office from home and back. Use my credit card to pay bills and pay monthly cheques to clear these accounts. I spend 33% of my salary paying taxes and quietly live my family life. I try to steer away from political problems, dharnas, agitations and go through a city that is full of chamchas doing nothing for the voting public but stuffing the roads and lanes with banners in honour of their seniors.
I try to avoid bribes wherever I can and never use the “shortcut” to getting things done. I also do my service to god by never hurting or troubling any human being.
I want to ask you, after doing all the above, why do I have to go through the pain of seeing my very very hard earned money being swallowed without burping by people of your party ? Why do uneducated criminals who manage to get a seat on the party go scot free after shamelessly asking, accepting and enjoying thousands of crores of rupees? A middle age person in a metro can barely save 20-30% of his salary and takes a decade to incessantly cut expenses to make down payment of a home. When he goes to buy that home, the builder shamelessly asks him to convert his tax paid money into cash and give 50% “black”. Why cant the top 5% tax paying population in Mumbai afford to buy even the bottom 5% priced property? Why do we have to live in disgusting infrastructure, overcrowded filthy streets where politicians enjoy business class travel and the spoils of government allowances?
It has happened 60 years ago and can happen again, only this time we will be cleaning our internal termites instead of foreign rulers.
I suggest you look into this before you see a scenario that the middle east ignored and hence paid a price for it.

Regards,
Vikram Gupta
A very normal citizen trying to be proud of his country but being let down again and again by people under your leadership.'

* If you wish to send your letter/grievance to the PM, or if you wish to question him on all those million things that he or his party members or people of the government have not done correct, send me a mail at deborummy@yahoo.com and we will send it to the PM. Share this with as many friends as you can and spread the word...

****************************************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Finally - A Driving Start To Women's Day

2011-03-09T14:53:00.003+05:30

So finally, on this Women's Day, I decided it was time to take my long-thought-of dream to the 'real' level...I joined a Driving School....finally !!!!

My hubby has been after my life for a long time now, telling me I should learn to drive, at least as much as is okay to be able to take the car out on the road if there is a sudden requirement. Well, it was something I always wanted to, but never really made that happen. Instead, we have a driver now who is always around to take us wherever we need. Not that its much help if you want to learn driving, considering you would not get that much-needed boost to go out and learn for yourself.

But I finally got out of my 'lazy-bum' mode and took the pains of going all the way to the driving school....and have managed to do so today for the second day.

The first day was good, not too bad honestly for someone who has never sat in the driver's seat. I learnt all the basics, what checks to make when you take the car out each day, what are the different mechanisms in a car that help you while driving, so on and so forth. I was fully charged up, asking many questions and wanting to know everything. My instructor was a middle-aged man with a soft voice and a smiling face. He soon knew I was a chatterbox and would kill him with my thousand-and-still-counting questions...so he was fast enough to let me know that all my questions would be duly covered in the course, and of course,if I had any doubts later, I could always ask then...that shut me up, just for a while though..I was soon back to my questioning-irritating-the-instructor self...

After the initial demo was over, it was time for me to step on the gas pedal, the accelerator, and that I did with great care and happiness, in fact, with too much zeal and happiness I must say. The moment the instructor said 'accelerate', my feet pushed on the pedal and the engine came to life with a thundering 'zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzooooooooooooooooommmm'.....That was THE MOMENT when all hell broke loose for my instructor. The poor fellow could not contain himself anymore. Gone was his smile, in its place, a terrified look...'God, who am I stuck with in this car? What will happen of me when she takes this car on the road and I have to sit next to her?!!!!" Of course he did not say this out loud, but it was all written large over his face..And I must admit I was actually enjoying it.

Then was the time for the stimulator. Computer screens surrounding me like a real vision, and I was sitting at the controls, more like a cockpit....quite interesting..This time the instructor was aware of what was to come. So he told me beforehand to take care of the speed....Man...that was something !!!To go like a tortoise while the whole wide world went past me....hmmm...

On came the foot and out went the instructor's smile, the one that was on till now as I was driving and cruising slowly on the computer screen. Now I was whizzing past all the traffic, much to the terror expressed by the sweat beads on my instructor's forehead. Poor man let me leave five minutes early than was the scheduled time...'Madam, aaj ka ho gaya..aapney itna fast drive kiya ki class jaldi hi khatam ho gayi.." (Mam, today's class is over. You drove so fast that the class got over faster) LOL....

Well, its just the beginning, today being the second day and that too when I am not in a real car yet...lets see what happens next ;)

***********************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

- Debolina Raja Gupta

Goonj - Your Help Can Make All The Difference

2011-02-28T13:02:00.002+05:30

Dear Friends,

This is a sincere request to you all for your help, support and that desire to 'Share A Smile.'

As my personal and professional self, I am working in close collaboration as a volunteer with the NGO Goonj, which has received the Real Heroes Award by CNN, the NGO of The Year 2007 Award and many more. We are doing a simple, yet extremely important collection drive. Your help and support will make many get the basic requirements of life.
What you can share:
Clothes: Old or new but in wearable condition – Woolens, Sarees, Salwar Suits, Kurta-Pyjamas, Trousers, Shirts, children clothes, Bedsheets, Blankets
Footwear: Of all size, in pairs (if possible, left and right tied together)
Utensils: Old/ New- Pans, Plates, Bowls, Glasses, Tawa, Spoons & Ladles, Cooker, Cups, Tongs etc
Stationery: Old/new school bags, lunch boxes, water bottles, Pen, pencil, sharpener, eraser, scale etc.
Paper: Newspapers, magazines, one side used paper.
Dry ration: Pulses, Spices, sugar, tealeaf, rice etc.
You can also contribute - Large quantities of surplus/waste cotton & hosiery cloth for making sanitary napkins & undergarments
To know more or to make any financial contributions, please log on to www.goonj.org
Please feel free to get in touch with Rohit Singh of Goonj at 09833237678, mail him at rohit@goonj.org, or get in touch with Arvind of Goonj at 09967890692, or mail him at arvind@goonj.org.
I would request you all to kindly have a look at the collection centres and understand how you can send across the items.
To know in detail what items you can contribute, kindly click:
http://www.goonj.org/whatcanbe.html
DHL is providing free pick-up in Mumbai and suburbs till the 03rd of March. Kindly call them at 022-26585151 to see if they are providing pick-up in your area.
For a complete list of the Goonj collection centres, please click
http://www.goonj.org/collection.html

I thank you in advance for your spirit and the belief that together, we can make a huge difference out there.

Have a great day.

******************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ

Happy Parenting!!!!

- Debolina Raja Gupta

No Women In The Kitchen Day :D

2011-02-27T15:02:00.003+05:30

So if you're wondering where and when this is happening, well, its going on LIVE today at my place :D

This Sunday, today, has been declared as a No-Woman-In-The-Kitchen Day by the men in my house this weekend...my hubby and my baba.

So the morning began with a steaming cup of ginger chai, prepared by my baba....Ma n me sipped with our eyes closed...........(well, my parents are here with us for a couple of months and I must say that I have been getting a ready-made cup of chai each morning...lucky me!!!) :D

And now..even as Im writing this, they are still in the kitchen, huffing and puffing over one of my most fav dishes...Thai Green Curry....and I can get the mouth-watering whiff all the way here......

Ok now gotta go..the tummy really can't wait any longer you see :)

Lucky me Lucky me...
White steamed rice n Thai Green Curry ;)

Will update you about the heavenly meal later...tatazzzzzzz

*Pic in this post is for representational purpose only...Source: Google Images.

And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

- Debolina Raja Gupta

Please Do Not Drink And Drive..Life Is Precious - Yours, And Others' Too

2011-02-26T02:37:00.002+05:30

Just about an hour ago, around 01:30 in the night, I was working on my laptop. Everyone in the house had gone to sleep and it was really really quiet and peaceful in a way...what with the breeze coming in from the sea and the sky dotted with a few stars here and there...

I was looking out of the balcony once in a while at the sky, taking in the cool breeze on my face, taking in a nice fresh breath, and feeling relaxed....

Up here on the 23rd floor it was really quite calm...

Till there was this huge sound of a crash...I immediately knew from past experiences what this sound meant (I live on the Mumbai-Pune highway and I have witnessed many accidents right in front of my house). Without even wasting a second, I ran out to the balcony. By the time I reached there, the sound of the biker screaming and writhing in pain had already climbed up all the 23 floors and reached my ears...and pierced my heart...It was a shout I dont think I will ever forget...believe me, its still haunting me...

The bike was lying on the side of the highway and at first I could not even see the man. Then I saw this body in a light-coloured shirt lying twisted at the side of the road. He had been flung quite a distance from the spot where the twisted bike now lay. Of course there was no helmet. Immediately a few people began rushing out to him - mostly the night watchmen of our and the adjoining buildings, plus a few cars and bikers started stopping on the highway....

I thought they would take him to the hospital right away. But even after about ten minutes, no one was doing anything rather than talking amongst themselves and dialing numbers and taking down the bike's license plate number. I decided it could get late for the injured man and rushed down with my husband, to take him to the hospital if needed.

Some other people took him to the hospital even as we reached downstairs. We found out from the people there that the man was drunk, that he was not even wearing a helmet !!!! Nothing unbelievable... coz so many of you always drink n drive and nothing happens...isnt it?

My husband was extremely disgusted at the injured man...he thought it served him right, that a person who cannot his and others' life should somehow get punished at least once...maybe correct... but my thoughts were also with the man's family...who was waiting for him at home? Was he the young son of old parents? Was he the young husband of a new bride? Was he the loving father of a toddler? Who all were going to panic and run about and cry out hearing about his accident? Didn't he have anyone precious at home who he wanted to go back to safe and sound? I am still wondering about the scene when his family gets that one call telling them about the accident.. I hope and pray that he lives...

Only the other day I was in an auto with my three-year-old. The driver was an elderly man, careful and correct in his driving. Suddenly this speeding car came out of the other side, trying to speed away through a signal, and almost came crashing into us, its tires screeching...believe me, we were only a scratch away from a fatal collision....even though we were careful and correct, someone who does not value life that much was out there, almost leading us to a collision....thankfully we were not hurt....but not everyone is so lucky..

Life is precious...really.....and think about those who will receive that call if ever such a situation arises...please people...if you really love your family, do be a little responsible...

And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Are You A Toybanker Yet ?

2011-02-25T01:22:00.001+05:30

I am sure you all loved playing with toys when you were young…..I am sure you had a favourite toy, maybe a few favourite toys….. I am sure you have loaded your little ones with all kinds of the latest toys available in the market out there….And, I am sure, you will continue to do the same….

Not an isolated case, are you?

Of course we all love toys, and now that most of us are parents and have our little ones at home, the moment a new toy is launched, we all run to get the latest addition for our little angels…..

As part of our ‘Share A Smile’ project, I happened to get in touch with this wonderful team of young and self-driven individuals, who, like us, not only talk about that much-needed change in the system, but, unlike most of us, are actually bringing about that change themselves.

Meet Shweta Chari….a young, full-of-life, energetic 20-something, an electronics engineer, an MTV youth icon nominee, and, at heart, still a child.

Shweta is the founder and CEO of Toybank, a bank with Toy Deposits and Joy Dividends, an idea that came into action on the 15th of August 2004, with a vision of reaching out to needy children through fun and play, using toys. The idea of Toybank started in a small restaurant in Mumbai. The year that they started operating, Toybank had 15 volunteers, were working with 4 NGOs and were reaching out to 238 kids in Mumbai. Today, Toybank has more than 200 volunteers, and has managed to reach out to 7000+ kids, as of 2010, and is working with 24 NGOs all over Mumbai, Bangalore, Pune and Delhi. Not only does it allow a person to donate toys from India, Toybank also has its reach in the UK, from where many ToyBankers have been showing their support to the noble cause.

Toybank’s ultimate dream is to place a toy in the hands of every child in India, and then, in the rest of the world. Shweta and her team understand the importance of toys and the role it plays in developing the psyche of a child. Hence, Toybank is very clear on what toys they WILL NOT accept: no lifestyle dolls, no guns, swords or any other such toy that can instigate violence or create discrimination of any sort.

What ToyBank does is really simple:
1. identify schools
2. inform kids about the right to play
3. toy collection drive in schools/corporates/housing societies
4. gift wrapping with volunteer support
5. identify NGOs, government schools for distribution of collected toys
6. plan an event and distribute collected toys to underprivileged kids

But through this simple process of collecting and distributing toys, ToyBank is today reaching out to more than 7000 kids, and with your support, one day they will soon reach their goal of placing a toy in each child’s hand.

Toybank’s founder Shweta Chari is very clear on why the emphasis on toys. As we sit at a coffee-shop, facing the sea, she infects me with her vision and her enthusiasm, her smile lighting up her eyes as she talks about ‘her kids’ and why ‘TOYS’:

Debolina Raja Gupta: NGOs asking for clothes and money, yes, but how come toys?
Shweta Chari: Every kid has a right to play, it is a basic right that no child should be denied – a right to free play, a right to have unrestricted play time, and the luxury to have that feeling of owning that one object of desire, that magical thing called ‘toy’. There are hundreds and thousands of NGOs who are already doing a great job of collecting clothes and food and money and sending it to needy families. But if you talk about toys, how many street kids do you see out there who have a toy in hand that they are not trying to sell at a traffic signal, but instead, are playing with? Many schools and corporates donate old books and clothes, sometimes even money, but how many people have you seen who go out there and donate toys? Come on, remember the times when you were a child and had that one most-favourite doll, or that car, that was your constant companion, or that soft toy that you hugged and slept with? Remember how special that bond was? Can you imagine how your childhood would have been if you did not have even a single toy to play with?

Debolina Raja Gupta: And play?
Shweta Chari: Play is essential to development as it contributes to the cognitive, physical, social and emotional wellbeing of children and youth. In fact, play is so important to optimal child development that it has been recognised by the United Nations High Commission for Human Rights as a right of every child. We strongly hold the belief that every child, irrespective of his/her social and financial background, has the right to make the most of his/her childhood. While accessibility to a decent education is of prime importance, one should not overlook the importance of extra-curricular activities in molding the lives of these children as they evolve into strong, sensitive individuals. After all, these are the very same children who will represent the face of a better globe, a responsible globe. They may be living on the streets, but they are still little kids, and deserve to have some joy in their lives too.

Debolina Raja Gupta: So how does the collection system work?
Shweta Chari: We go to schools and talk to kids about sharing, about how there are so many children out there who have never had a toy, while these kids in school are so lucky. We tell them about the joys of giving, about trying to share a few smiles with other kids out there. We meet children from different classes and our approach to each age group is different, of course we need to talk in such a way that we can get across our ideas to the child in front of us. Once the initial idea is established, children and their parents help us in collecting toys. Many parents even take the initiative of calling us to their housing societies and we have our collections there. Sometimes, a parent invites us to their organization and we have a collection at the office.

Debolina Raja Gupta: What after the collections?
Shweta Chari: Gift-wrapping. Our volunteers help us with sorting the toys according to age-group and then gift-wrap it for the children.

Debolina Raja Gupta: How has the experience been after the donations?
Shweta Chari: We soon realised that the children who were given the toys were impacted much beyond our expectation. They began to recognise that play was one of their core rights. They also began expressing themselves better and were more in tune with their lives and circumstances.

As per a TISS study:

Prior to a ToyBank event:
93% of the children that ToyBank reached out to felt abandoned and hopeless about their future
Post ToyBank activity:
45% of the children were playing with puzzles while 22% were attached to their toy cars.

Prior to a ToyBank event:
The happiness levels of the children and their parents were shockingly low. 80% of the parents complained that their children felt bitter, angry and agitated towards their environment.
Post ToyBank activity:
Clear indicators showed that through the toys they received from Toybank, these little ones became children again, happy just like children should be.

Debolina Raja Gupta: What makes you do what you do?
Shweta Chari: Street children are subject to malnutrition, hunger, health problems, substance abuse, theft, harassment by the city police and railway authorities, physical and sexual abuse. The fact that each day we meet and see so many kids around the slums in Bombay who are either homeless or left on the streets to fend for themselves, these kids that sit on the pavements playing with stones or broken toys or cycle tires, overwhelms us to immediately fill in that need, the need of a proper and a rightful childhood.

Debolina Raja Gupta: Explain to me who and how Toybank is affecting?
Shweta Chari:
1.encouraging rich children to donate and giving back the lost childhood of the poor and underprivileged child.
2.street children get into immoral habits like drugs and alcohol abuse and go wayward at a very impressionable age, mainly due to the lack of attention from parents and society. They feel they are neglected and unworthy of living. Toybank tells them they are normal too and they have rights just like the rest of us.
3.we want everyone to take responsibility of their own actions. Individuals partnering with Toybank realize the importance of giving and their children, in turn, develop habits like caring and sharing for their society and the world as a whole.
4.by simple means of toys, the social mindset that society holds against street children or children of labourers, will be impacted. Both the toy donors, as well as the toy recipient, will understand the significance of respecting one another as human beings.
5.by giving a toy to a child, a child’s mind is free to think beyond its circumstances. The child feels cared for and feels one with the world again.

Its really amazing what ToyBank is doing and how they are touching the lives of so many young hearts out there. We are truly lucky to be on this side of the car window, imagine the life of those little ones out there, abandoned on the streets, alone, or begging and working as a toddler to support one’s family. Toybank has taken the initiative and is doing a lot to make this world a better place. But of course they need more support, your support. Help them in this noble deed by writing them a cheque, by organizing funds for them, by volunteering, by spreading the word. They need you.

Website: www.toybank.org
Contact Shweta Chari at: shweta@toybank.org
mail@toybank.org
bombay@toybank.org
bangalore@toybank.org
pune@toybank.org
delhi@toybank.org
uk@toybank.org
Call: 022-24458235
Read: http://blog.toybank.org/

Go on, be a ToyBanker….and Share A Smile….

*************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ

- Debolina Raja Gupta

Sleuth (2007)

2011-02-18T13:08:00.001+05:30

With only two actors in the entire movie, Sleuth is a 2007 film directed by Kenneth Branagh and is based on Harold Pinter's screenplay adaptation of the Tony award-winning play SLEUTH by Anthony Shaffer. The movie stars Jude Law and Michael Cainee, who had also starred in the previous movie adaptation of Sleuth way back in the year 1972.

Cast: Michael Caine as Andrew Wyke
Jude Law as Milo Tindle
Director - Kenneth Branagh
Music - Patrick Doyle

Running Time: 86 minutes

Plot: Two extremely witty and scheming men will fight it out through the movie, matching their wits with the other, fighting for a woman they both claim to love, a woman, who, interestingly, the audience will never finally meet. She will always be a voice on the phone maybe, an entity who is out there in the world somewhere, but never shown. The men fight out each other in a dangerous game of wit and words and scheming, a game that will result in some dangerous final moments.
Andrew Wyke is a wealthy old millionaire, an established writer with a highly intellectual mind. Wyke's wife Maggie is living with her young lover. This lover is Milo Tindle. Wyke is alone in a huge house, a house that is old and royal, a house with a lot of character and intensity in it, a house that will haunt the viewer for days after they have watched the movie. To this house comes Milo Tindle, to visit the old man (either on the invitation of Wyke himself or on the insistence of Maggie). What follows is a series of intellectual and twisted games and role-playing..with dangerous consequences.

The movie is amazing in the way it has been handled. A movie with only two people in it requires extreme merit from the actors and characters to not let the audience drift even for a moment, and that is exactly what this movie manages. Not for a second do you get the chance to look away from the screen. Each word, each sentence is full of meaning, each scene has a purpose, and every angle on the set and in the frame is essential.
The house where the entire movie is based is in itself a work of art. With the theme of the house as much modern and at the same time having that old-world charm, even while everything about the house is so modern, it looms large in the background and serves well to the plot.
Caine is brilliant in his character. He is distinguished, intellectual, full of that old charm that was once so popular among 'real' men of the years gone by.
Jude Law is of course too good to look at to begin with. For those who did not watch the older version, Michael Caine had portrayed the character of Milo Tindle in 1972 that Jude Law now does in 2007. Jude Law is exceptionally wonderful in his display of emotions. Charming, sexy, rugged and full of attitude on the one hand, vulnerable, scared, innocent the next moment, he portrays each emotion with elan and the utmost sincerity through the portrayal of Tindle.
The movie is a cat-and-mouse chase throughout, with both the characters keeping scores of who won which round. They use wit and words to hurt and humiliate the other, using double-crossing, planning, scheming and deception to the hilt. The movie is dark and claustrophobic, extremely smart and filled with that you-know-something-is-about-to-happen feeling.
The music by Patrick Doyle is haunting and perfect. It matches the mood and theme of the movie, providing character to the background and a feel to each frame.

Many people were of the view that the movie would be a remake of the 1972 hit. But it has come as a surprise to all that not only is this movie not a remake, it is in fact a brilliant new take on the original play. In Jude Law's own words - "A completely reinvented Sleuth. It didn't feel like a remake. I always loved the idea at its heart of two men battling it out for a woman you never meet."
Harold Pinter, the screenwriter of the 2007 version, had never seen the 1972 movie, nor had he read the original play or seen a theater adaptation of it, and none of the lines in the movie matched the ones in the previous version.

Sleuth (2007) is a Must-Watch...

And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Mumbai Police: An Institution of Shame - Refuse FIR In 03-Year-Old's Rape Case In Kalina School In Mumbai

2011-02-09T11:24:00.003+05:30

In what can be simply termed as a case of cruelty and disgusting shamelessness by the Mumbai Police, the inspectors at the Vakola Police station Mumbai refused to lodge an FIR in the case of the 03-year-old's rape in her school, blaming instead the parents to try and sensationalise things!!!!

The Kindergardener was allegedly raped in her school on Thursday morning by her school guard in the school toilet. When the girl came out crying and bleeding profusely, a peon (Rekha Kamble) and teacher (Elison Mirinda) threatened her. Imagine..two women doing this to a 03-year-old!!! Life Imprisonment and death is not enough for these two.

When the child reached home and told her mother what had happened, the mother immediately examined the child and took her to the hospital to be examined. Doctors confirmed rape and the mother rushed the child to the Vakola police station, where a female inspector refused to lodge the complaint, dismissing the complaint as an attempt at raising an 'unnecessary controversy', even after examining the baby. For the next two and a half days the cops refused to lodge the FIR. Finally, on Saturday, with the intervention of Sion hospital, the police took the baby to the school, where she pointed out the man who had assaulted her.

And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Murder Made Legal

2011-02-09T10:08:00.004+05:30

I woke up to a beautiful morning yesterday and opened the paper, the cup of tea still sending those spirals of smoke up. And it was then that my day was ruined.

The front page carried the headline 'Three-Year-Old Raped In School.'

Who can have a good day after reading something as sick and demented as this?

I read on to know that the school in question was a school in Mumbai's Kalina area. The 03-year-old had been raped inside the school by the janitor and the teacher and peon had tried to cover up the incident. They had also threatened the little baby to not tell anyone about what had happened. It was only later that the baby's mother realised about the heinous crime.

Murder is illegal, right? But tell me something, how is it possible for the parents of this baby not to go out and kill this monster, who is out in this world of humans, waiting to pounce on our babies. Wouldn't it be a favour to society if this monster was killed? I am not sure if this monster has been caught or no, but I am pretty sure what the punishment should be - first the parents of the baby should be made to cut off his b****. And once he writhes in pain and cannot take it anymore, he should still be left there the same way, and then the parents should do the honour of killing him...

India Government - Wake up now...and make it legal for the parents or relatives of rape to kill these monsters !!!!! Its time you do at least something to save your children.....

And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

The Kala Ghoda Festival 2011, Kala Ghoda, Mumbai

2011-02-07T12:16:00.007+05:30

The Kala Ghoda Festival 2011 is on at Kala Ghoda, Mumbai, with creations as wonderful and thought-provoking as ever. The dates for the festival this year are 05th-13th Feb 2011.

Performances this year include names like Rekha Bharadwaj (Sufi/Bollywood), Sunidhi Chauhan, Sonu Nigam, Prem Joshua and Band (World Fusion Music), Paula Jeanine (IndiPop), The Amit Chaudhari Band, Dutch Jazz Expedition, Nirala Kabir, Ustad Fazal Qureshi and Friends (Percussion), Shaadarsh (Hindi Fusion Band).

From the year 1999, when it was first held, The Kala Ghoda Festival is today a major attraction for not only Indians, but also for the art-lovers from across the world. With its popularity increasing with each year, the festival attracts major names in the world of arts and crafts. From street plays to street performances, pottery to painting, artist model to craft and handloom stalls, the festival has it all. With lively stalls displaying products from different states of India on the one hand, and constant performances happening the whole day, the 09-day long event is a huge hit with students as well as the 'thinking' adult.

Interestingly, the Kala Ghoda festival is organised by the Kala Ghoda Association, which is a Non-Profit organisation, and states its objectives as 'physically upgrading the Kala-Ghoda sub precinct and making it the Art District of Mumbai.

The sub-festivals feature visual arts, dance, music, theatre, cinema, literature, lectures seminars and workshops, heritage walks, special events for children and a vibrant street festival.

The entire place is converted into a fun and artistic place, the setting similar to that of a 'mela' or local fair. Be prepared to be surrounded with artisans showcasing their creations, stalls selling local state food, artists sketching instant portraits, musicians performing, workshops being held and many more such art and literary happenings.

When: Early February each year, please check exact dates.
Entry: FREE
Venues: The event is held at venues that span the Jehangir Art Gallery, The National Gallery of Modern Art, The David Sassoon Library, Max Mueller Bhavan, Elphinstone College, The K R Cama Institute, the M C Ghia Hall, the street area of Rampart Row, Azad Maidan, Horniman Circle.

And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

'There Will Be Chaos If I Resign' - Egypt's President Hosni Mubarak

2011-02-04T10:27:00.005+05:30

From the burning land of Egypt comes President Hosni Mubarak's latest cry - "I want to resign, but there will be chaos if I resign now."

In a clip by ABC News, the 82-year-old ruler and looter is seen saying "I am fed up with being President and would like to leave office now, but cannot for fear that the country would sink into chaos."

Rubbishing the claims that his government is responsible for the recent anti-Government protests, Mubarak has blamed the main opposition party the Muslim Brotherhood for the unrest. "I am troubled by the violence we have seen in Tahrir Square for the past few days but the government is not responsible for it" ABC News has quoted the President as saying. "I do not want to see Egyptians fighting each other. I don't care what people say about me. Right now I care about my country, I care about Egypt" said Mubarak as violence escalated on the 10th day of wave of protests across the country.

On the possibility of his son Gamal being his successor, Mubarak said it was never his intention to have his son follow him into office, ABC reported. Pledging his loyalty to Egypt, he said, "I would never run away, I will die on this soil."

According to United Nations estimates, more than 300 people have died since the unrest broke out on the 25th of January, with close to 4,000 injured. The Egyptian prime minister, Ahmed Shafiq, apologised for the deadly clashes and promised an investigation into the violence.

Voice of the Protesters:
1. He is never to be supported by any person of the population. He is a killer.
2. Mubarak is a terrorist, not us.
3. Dr Kamal el-Helbawy is a spokesman for the Muslim Brotherhood based in London. He says the offer is more of a threat than an opportunity. They are threatening as well. If you lose this opportunity, there is no other way. So this is a threat. Secondly, the Muslim Brotherhood were banned for many, many years and all the time during the regime of Mubarak for 30 years and now they are in trouble and the revolution is continuous and the people would not like to see only Mubarak departing but the whole regime that was involved.
4. ABC Middle East correspondent Ben Knight told Radio National the attacks have been stepped up, with Mubarak supporters and officials harassing journalists in their hotels. "A group of pro-Mubarak supporters managed to get into that hotel and were looking for foreign journalists. That situation, I understand, ended without too much incident but perhaps what is even more worrying since then is that the state authorities have been going around to the hotels. One journalist has reported the authorities burst into his room, six of them, went straight out to the balcony looking for broadcast equipment, didn't find it and then came back in."

Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan told Mubarak: "Hear the cry of people and their extremely humane demands. Meet the people's desire for change without hesitation. In today's world, freedoms cannot be postponed or overlooked. We are all mortals. What matters is to be remembered with respect."

On U.S. President Barack Obama’s apparent calls for his resignation, Mr. Mubarak said he told his American counterpart, “You don’t understand the Egyptian culture and what would happen if I step down now.” He, however, maintained that Mr. Obama is a “very good man.”

Already, the unrest has stilled normal life in Cairo. Trains are stopped, schools are closed, and banks are shut. Scarcity of commodities and further hardship to people will aggravate the already tense situation further. There are indications that the situation could flare up to an ugly civil war between the pro-democracy people and Mubarak supporters. If that happens, it will definitely take the country back by a few decades, and the recovery, both politically and economically, would be painful and slow.

- Debolina Raja Gupta

Of Saints And Guards...

2011-01-06T09:39:00.006+05:30

I was at the Kolkata Airport last week....The weather was beginning to get cool as winters are now on in almost all parts of India. I was standing with my parents near the entrance gate...the Kolkata airport has a lovely arrangement for passengers to sit with their families before departure, a lot of coffee-shops and snacks parlours available for you to grab a bite before you say your goodbyes.
I had some time on hand so decided to sit down for a cup of coffee..Many passengers were arriving for their soon-to-depart flights, but the atmosphere was relaxed and quiet.

Suddenly, I could hear a siren that sounded like some VIP was arriving with his/her entourage. All heads turned to where the sound was coming from, everyone wanted to see who the famous personality was....As there was quite a lot of noise I realised the entourage was quite big..I was almost sure it was some big movie celeb....

Everyone was trying to get a glimpse of the personality and as I turned towards the now-approaching group, all I could see was armed guards surrounding someone....I could only see the top of a head.....
There were at least 5-7 of these men, the gun-toting ones, all dressed in something like a grey safari suit, the ones that emerged as a trend from movies of the horrible 80's. People had already begun to flock around in an effort to catch a glimpse, the celeb was still guarded....no one had managed to see the face...

And then I saw.....the saffron robe, the dark flowing mane...the bowed head...and when it lifted in a smile..all hell broke loose.

The entourage had been waiting to reach the entry gate before 'baba' finally decided to give all us mere mortals a 'darshan'. As his face became clear to the people around, there was a shout of joy and awe all around, and suddenly, all those apparently sensible people who had been sipping their neat coffees and talking in hushed tones on their phones, now ran like crazy to their 'baba'. The hot coffee was forgotten, barriers giving way as even the suited execs jumped over fences (yes..that actually happened!!!!), mummies held on to their child's hand and broke into a walk-and-run sequence, best of all - the older generation, who were till now sitting quietly and morosely in the chairs, their joint pains too severe in the winter chill to let them get up and walk, had, as if by miracle of the 'baba' himself, now been cured of their one-minute-ago-present pain and were now heading towards the 'Mr. Saint'....
Like a breath of fresh air, a group of three young suited execs along with a foreign colleague of theirs walked past, the Indians explaining to their foreign colleague - 'And here is one one of the best examples of Indian craziness...' So right...guys, if you read this, I am so proud of you :))
I was amused!!!And a little out of place, as I was one of the only few who did not run to get near the mister 'baba' and get his 'blessings'.......hmmm....his blessings..who is he again?
For all those aunties who ran like their you-know-which sides were on fire, I have to tell you this....that if you are in love with the 'baba', rest assured, he loves you too...especially if you happen to have a young daughter with a figure like Shilpa Shetty....nothing derogatory or out of line here, you see, he always loves to see and admire the effects of his yoga on young bodies, that's all I was trying to say here ;) And if you want to see it for yourself...look into his eyes, his love is always overflowing with one other very strong emotion...

Mr. Ramdev, the one in the saffron robe and the one who now has a first name as 'Baba' is as much of a saint as any of us maybe...or, let me put it this way, he is as much of a saint as the lady who teaches yoga to females in our building... Being a saint is a tough job these days: you have to have a full entourage ; you need to employ tough gun-toting bozos around you; you have to remain extremely discreet about all your longings and fascinations; you cannot wear designer clothes though you stash away so much you could probably buy out those designer houses if you did not happen to be a 'saint'. There are many more perils attached the post of being a 'saint', a 'baba'.....well well well.....

I dont know how many years he spent on the Himalaya, or wherever it is that he was meditating and a ray came down from the sky and touched him and said you are a saint...I really did not do that much research (you can let me know if you know). But I just know this, that all those lunatics who think it is okay to suddenly call a fellow human a saint, without any real credibility or justification to it, and help him accumulate the moolah that could have been put to better use...I sincerely wish they can at least be sent to the Himalayas..and made to live there permanently.. For dont you see, this would be such a great solution to curb India's population problem. The flock will never cease to grow, and the more followers the 'baba' has, the more people can be sent away to the mountains...you will say wicked..who? me or him? ;)

My Little One And Me

2010-12-22T11:18:00.004+05:30

Since you all have been regularly reading and commenting on the various articles and posts here, I thought I may just once again re-introduce the other blog, My Little One And Me......

Yes, it is under the category of 'parenting', but you really do not necessarily need to be a parent to read what I write here. Its more a jotting down about the life of a modern-day mum, that I believe I am, and how it is in these times and days to bring up a little one, how different children are from our own childhood.... The blog is a place for all those who, of course, are parents, as also for anyone who is generally interested in children and would like to know more of the fun and frenzy of the world of being a parent.....

Do have a read and let me know your thoughts.....For your reference, here is the link:

http://mylittleoneandme-debolina-raja-gupta.blogspot.com/

The Doings Of The Ooparwallah

2010-12-22T07:58:00.002+05:30

The building where I live is a multi-storey, a typical 28-floor building like many more in Mumbai. Its got a lovely mix of people, well, some of them are really good friends, almost life family, some are quite good, some are hi-hello acquaintances, and some I barely know....

Each morning if you look down your balcony, you will see a rush of people going out of the building. If you happen to look during dawn, you will see a surge of people going out for their morning walk, if you look a little later, post 7-ish, you will find a few mothers taking their kids down to wait for the school bus. The office crowd too starts to trickle out by then, all washed and clean and smelling of expensive perfumes and running out.

One such day my friend too was rushing out to work, all set for the day. When, suddenly, a downpour of water left her standing soaked and fuming. It was not monsoon time in Mumbai and there had been no clouds, and even if it was rain it would not have been smelling the way it now did from my poor friend's clothes. She looked up - and saw the water pouring out of a swishing broom at an upper floor balcony.

She shouted at the maid to stop, to see that there were people below and to tell her what had just happened. The maid scurried in. So my lady took the lift and went back up to the offending apartment, of course she anyways had to go back, she couldn't go to work dripping wet and smelling of phenyle water!!!!

The man of the house was already standing at the door when my friend reached there to tell them what had happened. He stood with his hands on his hips, barring the way for my friend to talk to the woman who happened to be an acquaintance. When my friend told him what had happened, he said it was not his problem, that he could not help it, and then, to top it, he said - 'hum to gundey hain, aisey hi hain'(we are goons, we are like this only).

Well, not that we were much surprised with his response, he is much (ill) famed already. But now, we are constantly careful of the ooparwallah's (the person who lives upstairs) doings, and dodge our way carefully to work.....

Antilla - The Ambani House Of Shame

2010-12-21T12:31:00.003+05:30

For the last few months, the newspapers have been sharing a curious case of show-off....a show-off that should undoubtedly be billed as one of the worst show-off ever......
For the Ambani brothers, Mukesh and Anil, showing off has always been a way of life. What one brother does, the other absolutely has to do better and bigger. If you have splurged X amount of money on completely useless things, I will go ahead and splurge X Y and Z amount...and make sure the whole world knows about it, that I did it better than you....that is the Ambani mantra of so-called fame, which, in more humane terms, amounts to SHAME.

We all know Mukesh has gone ahead and made himself the most expensive residential building in the world - Antilla. For starters, Antilla is situated on a 4,532 square metres (48,780 sq ft) plot at Altamount Road on the famed Cumballa Hill South Mumbai, India, where land prices are upward of US$10,000 per square meter...do the maths. What would have been 60 floors in a normal building, has been made into a 27-floor building and has 600 full-time staff to manage the house. Antilla has 3 helipads, 6 floors for parking, a full floor for car maintenance, balconies with gardens , entertainment floor with 50 people seating floor, a refuge floor which would come in use in emergencies, facilities for athletics and a swimming pool, 2 full floors made of glass-front especially for guests of Ambanis. It has been reported in the media to have cost between US$1 billion and $2 billion, making Antilia the most expensive residential building in the world.
After the house was complete, the newspapers reported of the glitzy house-warming party thrown at Antilla, where 80 guests were handpicked from across the globe to come and have a look at this new marvel on the Mumbai horizon. Guests gushed over the ballroom (which they mentioned is second to none in the world), the bandh-gala clad attendants in the elevators who took them to a windy terraced garden that looked out at Mumbai down below...It was an instant success..

Of course brother Anil Ambani has already declared that the world needs to watch out for his new home, which, as is to be expected, should outshine Antilla.

Now just the statistics and a little slice of reality, nothing too important though:

1.While Mumbai has the world's most expensive residential building in the form of Antilla, India continues to have a third of the world's poor.
2.According to a World Bank survey, India falls below the international poverty line of US $1.25 a day (which is approx Rs.21.6 a day in urban areas and Rs. 14.3 in rural areas. Was just wondering what a family of, say, two adults and two children, with a daily income of Rs. 21/14, eat...any ideas? But of course the Ambanis need not bother, they are safely away from all these inconvenient facts, inside their home that costs only about $2 billion, which is about Rs.94,220,000,000..what a looong figure no, especially in front of a plain Rs.14...
3.Mukesh has made his kingdom the most expensive in the world, but India also tops the charts in other spheres. India has 230 million poor people who are undernourished - the highest for any country in the world. More than 1.5 million children are at risk of becoming malnourished because of rising global food prices, with India ranking 94th in the Global Hunger Index of 119 countries.
4.As the Ambani clan continues to grow in width and weight (of course the credit must go to the mouth-watering delicacies prepared in that house of diamonds they are so happily showing off), out in the streets of India, 43% of children under 05 years of age are underweight. So much so, that we have even managed to beat the data of the sub-Saharan Africa's figure of 28%.

Enough of the boring data and figures...I know Mr.Mukesh Ambani will really get bored by the time he reads till here (if he ever does that is), after all, I have failed to mention the dazzling chandelier, the spa, the swimming pool, the luxuries that are spread inside this magic kingdom.

Many nut-heads have tried to justify this splurging by saying he is providing jobs to at least 600 people at his residence...wow....so that was the saint-factor that is being used to make it look justifiable? A family with a father, mother and three kids...do they really need 600 people to look after them, and, do they really need a house that is 60-floors? Mr. Ambani, give me a really good reason to justify what you have done here...really...take a look at yourself in the mirror, try and revive your conscience once (if it is possible) and talk to it, and then try and come out with a really good answer.....

Till then, keep living in your HOUSE OF SHAME......

Just As You Step Out Today

2010-11-30T16:27:00.004+05:30

Hey you....all set to go out? Ready for office? Or all decked up for that party? It's an evening out with friends, is it? Great....You're looking good...have a lot of fun.. n enjoy....have lots of good food and wine, or whatever is your choice of poison tonight....just have a blast...

But hey, as you leave out the door, can you just grab that pack of biscuit maybe? No no, I know you really don't need that....

You could give it to that little girl peeping in at your car window you know...the one who's so hungry and tired n yet needs to beg to eat...she would really have a treat with your pack of biscuit....

Most parts of India are in winters now....its so chilly isnt it? Cant step out of the house without being properly covered.... so you're all ready, aren't you? But one sec, why not pick up that old sweater? Yeah, that one, the one you haven't worn in the last 3-4 years, the one that doesn't fit anymore....stashed in the bottom of your closet? Just keep it at the back of the car will you?
You see that woman under the flyover? She is trying to keep her baby warm. See that spread of old newspapers she has on the road? And see that bundle on it? Thats it...her little precious baby...she has put him there so that the baby can have just a little more warmth, so that it can live just another more day......your old unused sweater would really save a life you know.....

The western parts of India are so so hot now.....the heat is unbearable, its summers here all over again.....you love that AC dont you? Bless the person who invented it... and the fridge...where would you be without your bottle of chilled water or cool juice? How refreshing, isnt it?
One sec...going out? Why dont you grab that empty bottle of water and fill in some drinking water in it? Yes yes, I know you dont need it...you have your sipper of cool water all set....you see, its just for that little boy standing out at the traffic signal, waiting for the lights to turn red and come asking for some help to get him his next meal...the sun is really harsh outside your cool car....your one bottle of water would give him much relief from the unbearable thirst you know...

And as you are already out of the door....why not pick up that old pair of slippers that you know you will never wear again? Whether its really hot or really cold outside, someone out there could really do with some slippers on their feet....

Its the season of sharing and caring.....do that....and be proud of yourself...that at least you do care, no matter what anyone else is doing or not doing, in your heart, you will always know that you did....and that someone did get a smile just because of you....do it, if only to stoke your ego into feeling proud of your own self, if only to make yourself proud of doing something that you should simply do as part of being a human......

- Debolina Raja Gupta

I care for the countless little ones out there....Do you?

am too busy to care, but want to do something. Jaago Re and BlogAdda.com are helping me do my bit for the society.

Gymming Torture...

2010-11-29T11:30:00.001+05:30

Now why do I go to the gym everyday? To exercise and be fit, right? Yeah, that’s what I thought too……and that’s how it was and still is supposed to be….
But consider this…..you walk into the gym, all ready to sweat it out, that lean fit image in your mind that you one day aim to achieve and that always seems like such a distant dream….always eluding you like that …..please fill in the blanks here with whatever it is that you have been trying to get and are never really able to get……..you go inside the gym with such a passion and energy…
Only to find out…………………………………….
That the aunty there is watching one of those ever-so-pathetic Indian soaps….the ones with the scheming in-laws and the scheming wives and the plotting husbands and second wives and mistresses and girlfriends and boyfriends and lovers out of marriage and lustful neighbours and crazy middle aged Indian aunties and horny middle aged Indian uncles and teenaged giggling Indian dumbettes and teenaged idiotic Indian machos and all those seemingly homely and religious Indian wives in one-hundred-and something yards of designer sarees and twenty kilos of jewellery and only five-six layers of makeup with backless blouses, peeling and cutting vegetables in a designer kitchen (no matter how much their husbands earn, since only the husbands earn in Indian soaps, the wives only chop and peel and look designer even when they wake up in the morning)………………..
Ok…..you heard it….
Now I really want to know what has any of the above got to do with a gymming session? Anything in common? At all?
Huh!!!!!!
If only, if only, those aunties, or even one of them is reading this right now…one aunty reading this will be enough, as she will be kind enough to pass it on immediately to the other ones….you’re getting the drift I see ;)
So yes, now I always enter the gym zone properly armed with my headphones, my ears already being hammered full-blast with hop-hop n some sexy numbers, so that I don’t have to be aware that the background score booming from the television set is always ready to make you go mental….. and a little secret sharing here with you all….sometimes I even hide the remote ;) wicked no? lol
Aaaahhhh aunties….i hope one day I get to meet the aunty of all aunties…yes, Ekta Kapoor herself, I will ask her only this….”What did we mortals ever do to make her unleash such wrath on us, why is she trying to wipe us all out like this?”

That Feeling Of Something New.......

2010-11-29T11:16:00.001+05:30

What a lovely time of the year this is…isn’t it? Im sure you have felt that ‘something special’ in the air too.
Oh c’mon, get your lazy bum off the bed and go take a look at the world out there….you know, that wonderful smell you get as you take a whiff of the outside world and fill it in your lungs…its so screaming about the spirit of festivities and the feeling of joy that is all around.
Diwali is gone now, and the malls and the markets and streets are already gearing up for the arrival of Christmas and the approaching new year. As if we Indians need a reason or season to celebrate….looks like celebrations and festivals have become our regular daal-chaawal now, our staple meal….we simply need festivals to survive.
It’s so nice to walk out of the house and walk into festivities everywhere you turn and look - the stores are all decked up in those flashy little bulbs that keep blinking on and off with those multi-coloured lights, the malls that have already figured out the marketing strategies and are ready with their many events and shows, the stores decked up with Christmas tree already and the lights and mistletoe all in place.
Its as if the place is all buzzing with action and just giving you reason to get up and walk out the door and be a part of all the fun and activity happening out there….
So even though you really don’t need to buy anything as such, you still end up taking a stroll in the mall (yeah, I know you’re smiling or maybe smirking at my mention of the word strolling in relation to the mall, as if I was strolling in the garden, but oh c’mon, isn’t that what we really are doing these days? Like, spending more time in the mall than maybe in a garden?) so coming back to where I was…..even though we really did not plan to buy anything, we still end up taking a walk in the mall and by the time we are out, we invariably end up with atleast one shopping bag in hand…admit it ;)
So it’s really the festive season all around and the season when the pockets and the wallets are gonna show some real weight-loss ;)
Lots of cheer and fun and merry-making…..and a whole lot of good and wonderful things and gifts and joys in life…..
By the way, why not share a little joy with that little child on the street? U game?

My Oldest Book And Its Memories.....

2010-11-27T18:35:00.002+05:30

I am one of those eternal book-worms who, no matter the place or time, is always found with a book in hand, or as is the case on certain occasions, in the handbag. All my friends have at one point or the other, given voice to this statement.
I have always proudly stated the fact that I am die-hard book-lover. And my house is a testament to that statement. My bookshelf is packed from bottom to top with books – horizontal, vertical, diagonal, wherever there is even a teeny-tiny bit of space left, I have used it all up to introduce a book in between.
My love for books is a little partial – the older the book the more I love it. And I just love the smell of old books, though I also love the ones that are fresh off the press, but there is always a certain charm and story in a book that is old, that has had another keeper before me, and I love to smell those pages, to feel the hands that must have turned these very pages that I am now turning, in a different era, in a different place, maybe in another country altogether.

One of the oldest books that has lived on my bookshelf, is the novel titled ‘Hotel’ by author Arthur Hailey. It’s been almost twenty years now that I have the book with me.

The story of me becoming the proud keeper of this book is very close to my heart.
As a child I have always been drawn to books, even as I was a little girl of three, I remember my ma would sit with me on a cold winter afternoon, the sun shining shyly through the clouds, and me and ma poring together over a book -my eyes wide with the bright big pictures, while ma would read out the story word-by-word. And it was no wonder where my love for books came from. My ma was, and still is, an avid reader, and my maternal grandfather is the one before her who always shared a love, no, passion, for books.
So it was always a treat whenever we used to visit him during school vacations in his home in Assam, his room filled with bookcases that were stacked from top-to-bottom with books, very much the way my bookshelf at home now looks.
It was always my most favourite spot in the house. The bookshelf with all its charming titles was left open to me to browse and go through. As I grew from a three-year-old to a young child who could understand and appreciate books more, I was allowed to open the titles and read books that I could understand. My maternal grandfather never stopped me from picking up a title and reading it, just because ‘I was not the right age.’ He believed that, if I understood the concept and the writer’s point properly, I could try and give it a read. Of course there were certain books that were always off-limit – ‘you will get these when you grow up.’
On one such visit I was browsing through the bookshelf when I came across this red-covered book amidst thick leather-bound books. The red of the cover was what drew me to it in the first place. And the fact that it had a door-knob on its cover with a key dangling from it that said ‘St. Gregory’ was an even bigger mystery. I took out the book and turned to the back cover. It was a story about a ‘hotel’ , ‘St. Gregory Hotel’ in New Orleans to be precise, and the book’s characters were vividly drawn from tycoons of the hotel industry, the guests, the staff, men and women, young and old, the dedicated and the amoral. There is a robbery and blackmail at the hotel, a near-disastrous orgy and a takeover battle and a love story, and many more such incidents that remain etched in the minds of the readers along with the characters.
Of course I was not at an age right then to understand the whole of it. So I took the book to my grandfather and asked him if I could borrow it. The rule that time was that whatever book I could understand I was free to keep, but a book that I did not understand needed to be borrowed from him and returned. He told me I could read a bit of it and try again later, when I grew up a little more. I started reading the pages, but by the time my vacation was over, though I had only been able to understand the first few pages, I had started to like the book a lot. So I begged him to let me keep the book. ‘I know you will take care of it, so take it, and read it slowly. You will understand it better once you grow up.’ And that book became mine. It has been on my bookshelf ever since then, and I spent the initial few years reading it a few pages at a time. As I grew up, the book and its characters seemed to grow with me, and I began to understand their lives better, in a more understanding light than what I had thought the previous year.
The first page of the book has my grandfather’s handwriting on it, his name, Kalibhushan Banerjee, written in cursive with an ink pen. He is now no more, and this sign of his will always stay with me, reminding me of those wonderful visits I had at his place, and the love of books that he has left me as a priceless legacy.

The second page of the book has my grandmother’s handwriting. She had presented it to him on his birthday, and it lovingly reads in her cursive handwriting, in an ink pen again, ‘To K Banerjee, on his birthday, from Bibha. 6.1.79’ she too is no more, and I can only look at this handwriting now to smile at those wonderful years that will forever be cherished in my memory.

As I see these handwritings, even now I can see the way their hands and mine write in a similar fashion.
I can never let this book go. How can I? when it represents to me the love and memories of my grandparents. They are the ones who helped and fuelled my ma’s and my interest in books, and for that I am forever grateful. I can never let this book part from me, it holds too many precious memories, memories that are mine and I will not allow to be shared. Memories of those days spent at the bookshelf, at those evenings discussing a writer or a book, those tea-time chats of who is reading what and sharing our thoughts on varied topics.
I thought I would forever keep this book with me, well, that cannot be. I have to be gone one day, the book will still live on. And though I was sure I would never be able to decide who to pass on the book to, now I know who is its rightful owner.
My little daughter of three is exactly like me. She is a book-worm, and can spend the whole day happily by just reading books. Like me, she too has her own bookcase, already crammed with her many books. And going by the love she has for books, I know she is the right person who should be made the keeper of this book and its memories.
My grandfather never had a chance to meet her, my grandmother did, that too only once, and I am sure this book will give her a piece of all those memories that have been mine over all these years.

To read about my books, you may like to drop in to my book world on http://debolinasbooks.blogspot.com/

Whats With The Painters And Their Un-Decipherable Creations ???!!!

2010-11-22T12:44:00.004+05:30

Yesterday I happened to be at one of the most well-known and respected art galleries in the country. It was my first time inside an art gallery.....and most certainly my last !!!

I thought I would be greeted with walls and walls of beautiful painting, depicting landscapes, or people, or places...or SOMETHING!!!!

When I stepped in I waited at the gallery gate for a moment...was this the right place? The walls were lined with canvases that were filled with...well, nothing!!!!
One creation, for example, was a huge cream canvas, with a huge black L in the middle...thats it...and it was SOLD!! really...I so wanted to meet the person who had bought it...and thank god it was SOLD...others would not have to see it again in the gallery.

Another one was again a cream canvas with a huge black line in the middle...thats all...and no prizes for guessing...it was by the same guy !!!! Oh....someone, please someone, tell me who this so-called 'artist' is!!!!

Then there was the section of modern art!!!!
A broken hand that looked like it had been wrenched out of a human's body...now why would someone want that???
A head...with a twisted nose and only one eye....what??!!!!
A wrist with five fingers intact (thank god) thats all....I thought it was supposed to be an art exhibition and not a decapitated body-parts show....

In an instant though I was very much aware of what a misfit I was there....I was dressed in a long orange kurta over jeans and had a silk green jhola with me, and chappals....well, the get-up was perfect..But what about the expression on my face?
I think my face reflected horror...at realising that this is what is called ART these days! There was this young man standing in the middle of the room, not sure if he was the artist himself, and he kept on looking at me in between talking to others, sometimes gave me a smile, sometimes an exasperated look, sometimes confused, as if trying to understand my reactions or why I was there in the first place!!

It was embarassing...for me as well as for those who I was with...My questions...'What??!!This is ART?" or 'Who made this L? Why?" or "I need to book a gallery too now...if this guy can sell, I will be all sold-out in minutes."

Finally we left....and I know I am never going to be back in this comedy-house again...well, so much for me being a creative soul !!!!

*The image in this post is for representational purpose only, courtesy Google Images.

My Potted Palm...

2010-11-21T01:07:00.003+05:30

That morning I ran out of the lift
That the watch was winning was already clear, my feet as always late.
That little nursery outside my gate was coming to life
That potted plant in the nursery across the road, the one that always stands in the corner, the one I always see.

I knew Chhotu worked there, I had seen him a couple of times
I knew his name was Chhotu, he used to weigh and buy my old newspapers too.
I saw him now in a dirty vest and shorts, watering the plants, humming a line, scratching his head.
I had been thinking for days of getting a plant, it would look good in my home I knew
I reminded myself again to stop over there in the evening.

Day was busy, coffee-breaks short, and work stretched beyond the given hour
Day was night by the time I entered my gates; Chhotu had left and the plants all asleep.
Day a month back Neeti had told me a plant would look ‘cool’ in my home, Monty had said it would add a ‘literary’ dash to my interiors.
Day was when I had made up my mind I would get a real plant, start having some nature in me. I had been planning to get the plant for long. I made up my mind it would be this weekend.

Palm…its leaves fresh, a lovely green…..swaying in the gentle sea breeze
Palm - I brought it in with much fanfare….the party with friends was due next weekend.
Palm – here in my home. Now the big question – where was the palm spot to be?

My so-called literary spirit required me to put it near the book shelf – but that would block the way each time I headed for a book – no, wrong spot
My nature-loving self said I should place it in the balcony, where the sea breeze would soothe it by day and the pigeons would come down to say hello – but what about the sun who would burn down on it the whole day? – no, wrong spot
My practical self said it should be near the kitchen counter, the green of the palm mixing with the orange and black of my marble counter-top kitchen. What a contrast it would be. But wait, what of the countless mind-numbing drink sessions and the parties that ran the whole night? What if someone tripped over the plant and spilled drinks all over? What a mess it would be!! No – wrong spot again….
My smile grew as I knew where to keep it – of course, the lobby near the hall, no one would be disturbed there for sure….but wait, the costly artificial plant was already installed there, the palm would take away its charm – no, wrong spot….

Oh come on, where would the right spot be? It was just a plant after all – how difficult could it be?

It turned out it was difficult and I was confused
It was late and I was tired
It was night and my favourite sitcom was about to begin
It was dinner time and I hadn’t cooked a thing – again!
It was time to call in a pizza – again!

So I decided to call it a day and end it with a nice movie and pizza
So I decided to postpone the palm-spot hunting for a later day
So I took it out in the common lobby near the lift and kept it there
So that it wouldn’t take up the wrong space in the house and make it a permanent place
So after the pizza was over I kept the box out in the garbage bin and checked the lock on the door
So now that all was done for the day I decided it was time to proclaim my love to my comfortor and go to sleep.

The next day I woke up with the dream still in my eye
The Hollywood crush from my teenage years again bringing back that dance in my steps
The morning awake and ready to head to work
The bath warm, the coffee bitter, the egg soft-boiled
The elevator arrived, stopped on my floor and I skipped in, my heels in matte polish, my bag in place
The hands of the watch trying to win and I trying to win it all over again

Chhotu was watering the plants
Chhotu had told me to water my plant
Chhotu had given me the palm
Chhotu had told me to water the palm – oh shoot!!!!

I told myself it was okay
I knew the plant would be fine when I came back home in the evening
I would water it then.
I told myself it was a plant and would sustain itself for the day
I closed my work and headed to the party – the one Nikhil threw as a surprise
I was sloshed by the end of it
I crashed in with Niti and slept off another horrible hangover – the ones I keep promising I will never have again
I borrowed her shirt next morning and went to work straight from her place
I finished the deadlines
I was dead by the time I reached home
I headed straight for the couch, then the call-in number, then the shower
I ate and fell asleep on the couch
I dragged myself to bed and slept

Next morning I ran to work
Next moment I remembered the palm – wasn’t I supposed to water it?
Next thing I thought was, it was out in the common lobby
Next-door neighbour would surely water it once at least
Next time I stepped home I would first water the plant
Next day next day next day….the week was over and my palm had stood alone, waiting…..

And I was out on a work trip
And the next I would be home would be two weeks later
And the one time I remembered about my palm was when I remembered I had forgotten to water it
And the only thing I could hope for was that my neighbour would water it

Chhotu was sitting in the lobby weighing the papers
Chhotu put the old newspapers in his bag and extended his hand to hand the change
“Chhotu, come back after three weeks” my neighbour said…..uh…what was his name?
Chhotu replied in the affirmative and looked at me as the door closed….

“Didi, can I take away the pot?”

Beauty - Not How You Look But Who You Are

2010-11-17T23:58:00.003+05:30

Was switching channels late night yesterday and came across this documentary on the Indian actress Freida Pinto, though really not quite sure if she still considers herself Indian or not, given her inclination towards all things Western and her sudden (smart move though) adoption of Hollywood and the Western film world.

The programme mentioned Freida Pinto as ‘The Ultimate Indian beauty’…ummm….welll….uhhhh……really?

Slumdod Millionaire was a nice movie…no doubt about it, but was it the only great movie that India has ever produced? And were the cast and crew who were a part of the movie the only good ‘talent’ we have in India? Come on, we all know we have done way better than this……agreed it was a nice movie, but I feel all the brouhaha surrounding it was quite too much, almost bordering on the point of being insane…..
Now who really thinks the ‘Jai Ho’ song is Rehman’s best till date? Well I wont say much about his talent or compositions here, but the fact is, listen to five songs of his and you have almost heard most of the work he has ever done or will do…
And what about the amazing singer Sukhwinder who actually sang Jai Ho? Did he even get the credit for the superb performance? Poor guy did not even get the visa clearance to travel for the Oscars…what a shame!!!!

I was watching the documentary and it was obvious the western movie people are much besotted with Ms. Pinto. Which is a great thing given the fact that in India, being dark or wheatish is considered an insult and unless you are fair, you are not really beautiful and capable of success (as per the #$%-headed fair and the lovely people in India) While someone tended to her hair, another was applying make-up, asking her in-between if she was happy with the look, someone was arranging food, someone water, someone procuring an umbrella to cover her when she walked out in the sun. There were people all around her, tending to her, looking after her, making her look good for the way it is needed in front of the camera and for the many glamorous shoots – it was all fine…But what I felt was not fine was the description of Freida Pinto as being the most beautiful face in India – a great body, yes, but the most beautiful Indian woman? Well that she seriously ain’t.

I have been born and lived in this country all my life and know for a fact that India is brimming with beauty. Agreed Indian women may not be of the slim build as many women in other parts of the globe – but when did beauty have anything to do with your waist size?

Look around you and I am sure you will see many beautiful faces. Why go elsewhere, look within your home first, what about your mom? Well, you may not think she is the typical ‘beauty’ now, but take a look at those old family albums and the B&W and sepia faces peeping out, you will soon know what I mean.
Or look at your neighbour, yes, the one who stands quietly in the lift each day as maybe you are all running out in the rush office hour. Isn’t she beautiful? She may not be the anorexic size-zero that is now the fad and definition of being beautiful, but catch her giving that good-morning smile to the watchman or sharing a candy with the kid standing out on the road and you will know what I mean.
That chubby mother buying vegetables at the local market - her son jumping around, hardly listening to her telling him to stand still – and there comes the slap on the back and the wail. For that moment you would never think she is beautiful, a chubby, out-of-shape mother slapping her child, how can that be beautiful? But look at her the next instant, leaving the vegetable bag and, instead, bending down to her child, wiping his tears and hugging him, apologizing for her anger and her eyes wet seeing her child cry – look at her then, isn’t she beautiful?
Your mad friend, the one who talks too much and is always fighting, the one who is always the tomboy and beauty is the last word you can associate with her, hear her concern when you call her at 2 in the night telling her about your worries and talking your heart out. When you hear her silence, tuned in to what you are saying and concerned for you to be happy, don’t you know then she is the most beautiful friend you have?
Your landlady may be the typical nagging woman you so hate, but remember those days when you were sick and missing your mom’s home-cooked meal, and surprise surprise, your landlady turned up at the door with a home-cooked dinner? Wasn’t she really beautiful in her care that moment?

Calling Freida Pinto beautiful is appropriate, and if she happens to read this at any point of time, I hope she does not have anything against me, I am acknowledging the fact that she is beautiful. But my problem is simply this – that no one has the right to label a face as being the most beautiful – what are the parameters? On what are you judging? A face that may be the most beautiful to you may simply be another ordinary face to me, and of course vice versa.

Beauty is neither skin-deep nor limited to follow labels and traditions set by society. Beauty is what you have within, in your heart and in your soul, beauty is how you look and behave towards other fellow humans, how you respect the other, how much love and care in your heart to give to the one who needs it. Beauty is not just a fad, it’s a definition of the person you are, the personality you carry.
The exterior may be beautiful, but if the heart is not, it’s just a shallow shell you wear in public each day.

Taj Dinner for Rs. 100/- (joke)

2010-11-15T18:53:00.002+05:30

Hey guys, this came in the mailbox from a dear friend..Just had to share it with you all :))

A beggar to another beggar: I had a grand dinner at Taj yesterday.
How? The other beggar asked.

First beggar: Some one gave me a Rs 100/- note yesterday.

I went to Taj and ordered dinner worth Rs 1,000/-, and enjoyed the dinner.
When the bill came, I said, I had no money.

The Taj manager called the policeman, and handed me over to him.
I gave the Rs 100/- note to the police fellow, and he set me free.

A wonderful example of financial management indeed

Hoo Haa Over Arundhati Again

2010-10-28T20:43:00.003+05:30

Now that the whole nation as well as the world is divided into two sides, against or with Arundhati Roy, it was not much of a surprise that the topic would be the highest discussed in FaceBook as well.

I have never really liked her writing, but that does not mean that I don't have the right to agree with her opinion...I think having one's opinion is still allowed in this country..

So the moment one of my friend's status message read 'I hate Arundhati Roy' it was no surprise that all attention went directly to his profile...and what followed was some hot opinions and emotions running high....

My friend mentioned he hates Arundhati Roy and that she is the perfect example of how democracy and right to freedom of speech can be misused to gain personal fame. Responses started pouring in immediately, with people saying they agree with her, though they may not really like her writing.

Some people have jumped on to the conclusion that Arundhati means Kashmiris are not really a part of India and should be let go. Well, that may be what she implies, yes, but what is so wring with her statement? The tension and fear in Kashmir has been on since forever, as long as I have been born and can remember, Kashmir has always been a disputed land. There are many ways the Indian government could have 'really' done something for them. But a government that only has a big mouth and a hand that only works on corruption, such a government at best is only a crappy stinking shithole of a government, and has no right to promise our Kashmiri brethren that they will still be protected - when they don't even have access to basic human rights.

There was much the Indian government could have done - to begin with, they could have made the Kashmiris a part of mainstream India and provided them with jobs and the means to a better education and a safer and better life....clearly the government of India had no such plans.

Not to mention that the debate on FB attracted international journo as well, and there were many views expressed....But tell me something, if, even after decades of false promises, we cannot do anything for our Kashmiri friends but let them rot on their own, why cant we really set them free? Those who want to choose to be a part of India are welcome with open hearts, those who choose to be part of a separate identity should be given the right to do so.

Handing Out Your Child To Strangers

2010-10-22T18:17:00.004+05:30

Was just going through today's newspaper a while back when came across this section that had a sketch of a woman on top of the column.

The heading below was even more dismal: "Baby snatcher"....

I read on to find out which was the latest case of baby-snatching now...as if chain-snatching and bag-snatching was not enough, they had to do this too!!!

What emerged from the report was not so much a case of baby-snatching as a case of 'handing over my baby to you so that you can take it away'...literally!!

In the first instance, a mother was waiting at the CST railway station with a 06-days-old baby.A woman (the one in the sketch) befriended her and as the mother wanted to use the restroom, she handed her new-born to this stranger and left.When she returned, of course the lady had gone and so was her infant.

In the next instance, which is a step ahead of this, a lady was waiting at the V N Desai Hospital Santa Cruz with her two-year old grandchild. This woman (the one in the sketch again) befriended her and she handed her grandchild to her, going out to locate her daughter-in-law.When the two women returned, the burqa-clad lady as well as the baby had gone missing!

I am not going to call this a case of kidnapping...For how can this be so when the parent herself has been callous enough to hand their child to a stranger? I mean, what happened to all those instances of crimes we have read about in the papers? What about the basic rule that our mothers have always drilled into our heads - never talk to a stranger, never accept any gift from a stranger.... And here they are, handing away the most precious gift of their lives to a stranger!!!!

I felt really sorry for the little ones who have been taken away from their mothers forever for no fault of theirs.....another life added to the begging world, another face added to the million innocents outside our car windows.....

This is the sketch released by the police of the monster who stole the babies. And if ever she is caught...I hope she is skinned alive...May she die wherever she is..

Durga Pujo

2010-10-13T14:35:00.004+05:30

It’s my most favourite time of the year....my BESTEST pujo is here....Durga Pujo, the biggest event for any Bengali anywhere on the globe!!!!!

You will find us Bengalis spread across all parts of the globe, many times it is difficult to differentiate a 'probashi baangali' (a Bengali who lives outside Bengal) as they will be completely in sync with the place they live in. But come Durga Pujo and it is utterly impossible to let that Bengali spirit remain within, if you are a Bengali, your Bengali-ness will reflect in all its splendour for all the days of the Pujo.
Suddenly, everywhere you look around, you will notice to your surprise, that the place is teeming with Bengalis of all ages. The elder ones will be typically recognised by the 'shaakha-pola' on their hands (those red and white bangles that are a sign of matrimony in bengalis), the younger lot will suddenly be sporting a traditional look, the get-up complete with a saree, big bindi and traditional accessories and those lovely big kaajal-lined Bengali eyes that are so hard to miss. The young men will typically be dressed in lovely kurta pyjamas, especially the toshor ones on the day of Ashtami.

I remember, when we were young, Pujo for me and my brother would begin much before the real festivities started. The beginning of Durga Pujo would be announced by the mahaloya, for which my parents would wake us up in the wee hours of pre-dawn, sometime around four-thirty, five in the morning, and we would listen intently to the heavy baritone singing and chanting shlokas and hymns from the other side of the air waves, we would be sleepy-eyed, still in bed, covered in the sheets (for winter too would begin its arrival with the advent of the Pujo), and most years, we were already back asleep even before the mahaloya had finished.
Ma baba would wake us up earlier than other holidays, we would grumble, but would then remember it was Pujo day and would quickly be done with the bath, to change into new clothes. It was an event we looked forward each year, those were not the times when we did shopping through the year like its done now. Durga Pujo meant we would go shopping with ma baba and we would get our new set of clothes, we looked forward to this special shopping trip, curious to know what kind of dress we would be wearing in this year’s Pujo.
Durga Pujo meant freedom for ma from the kitchen, no cooking at home, baba would get breakfast from outside and after we had had our fill, we would all leave for the pandals. The smell of the dhuno the beats of the dhaak and the divine eyes of Durga would transform us all into a magic world, a world from where we had no intention of returning soon. Some time later the stalls would open up and we would hog on the mughlai paranthas and the egg rolls and the chops and the fish fry. The book stalls were always a big pull as we would eagerly wait the whole year for the Pujo edition of ‘Anandomela’ and ‘Shuktaara’.
The music stalls would play songs from the latest artists and Pujo specials.
We would go from one pandal to the other and after lunch at one of the pandals we would head back home for a short rest, before waking up in the evening and changing into a set of fresh clothes and head for another pandal. Various cultural events and entertainment is planned for the Pujo, hence we always had a great time watching live shows and performances by renowned artists. After that we would head for a snack or dinner, and then again more pandal hopping.
How I hated it when the day of Dashami arrived, the day Durga would go back to her husband’s home, the day she would be immersed.
We would all begin looking forward to next year’s pujo from right that moment on.

How I miss those days now. Grown-up and so unable to enjoy those special moments. Caught up in work and responsibilities. Wish I could go back in time for Durga Pujo at least.
So I am happy that my daughter too has started loving Durga Pujo. She loves the sound of the dhaak, loves the fish and the food associated with Bengal and Durga Pujo and loves to dress up and visit the deity. I look forward to re-live my childhood Durga Pujo memories with her now.

Wish you all a very happy Durga Pujo!!!

The Un-'Natural' Look ;)

2010-10-11T10:56:00.002+05:30

You know was recently in the presence of some wonderful beauty-magicians...those make-up people without whom so many 'dark' secrets (read dark circles) of the glamour world would have otherwise made us 'regular' folk look glamour-world acceptable too ;)

I have always been a fan of clear glowing skin and love to see fresh clean faces in the mags and screen, I feel less make-up always make your features stand out, unlike the notion that the more you highlight your features the more they will look better. Well, everyone to their own view.

Recently I was seeing the deft fingers of one of the ladies work magic on a 'star' face.....well, the lady in question obviously has amazing skin and lovely features. So it was decided that we would go along with her 'natural' look. I settled down comfortable on a chair and waited for the session to get over soon...how much time could it take to attain a 'natural' look after all?

Well, just lets say I am still quite naive....and if you are thinking on the same lines, welcome to the naive-souls club...

The first half hour was only to clean up the skin and to give it a smooth even look..to do away with all patchy skin, any signs of pigmentation, any suggestion of uneven skin tone, the first half hour took care of all that...the next part of the hour was used up in defining the features, in giving the skin that glow that I thought came from good food and habits !!!!

Honestly, by the end of the whole episode, which was almost one and a half hours long, I was too bored to death to even appreciate the 'natural' look that was achieved.....

The same night I looked into the mirror and saw a face that had been around for quite some time now.....and somehow, even with all its imperfections and mismatched skin colour I have come to like it.....the little dark circles under the eyes reminded me of the nights I had cuddled my little one in my arms and sat awake till late in the night wile she slept peacefully in my lap...the small spots on the skin reminded me of those trips out in the sun when I have rushed out for a meeting, forgetting to apply that much-vouched-for thing called 'sunscreen.' The little laugh lines that are still too fine for the naked eye at the first instant, remind me of all those joys and happiness that have made me break out in laughter.

Really, I did see the 'natural' look in the morning, but I think I liked the 'natural' look reflected later in the mirror that night :))

That Music That Era

2010-10-06T11:25:00.003+05:30

Ok well so I have a lot of work today and just needed a break as well.....u know been out of sleep, work crawling into my dreams as well.
so woke up to another lovely day, ready to take on all the roles that lay ahead...started by waking up my little one for school..tickled and cuddled and played itsy-bitsy spider on that small foot sticking out of the pink minnie mouse comforter....
running around, getting her ready, breakfast somehow made to finish, then off to school she was packed off..
next came all the assignments of the day that had to be taken care of immediately...so started the day with a nice hot cup of ginger-tea...i have found it to be an instant boost and a great start to my days...n the next thing i did was to press the 'play' button on......
Its been so long I heard anything as awesome in western music as this..my playlist includes a mix of beats like Dancing Queen by Abba, Rich Girl by Gwen Stefani, Im a Slave For you and Me Against the music featuring Britney and Madonna, Baby I love your way by Big Mountain, Cocoa Jumbo by Mr. President, white flag by dido, heal the world by MJ, frozen by madonna, simrik by tarkan, i love rock n roll by britney, that thing you do by the wonders, cecillia, honey sugar sugar by the archies, aqua, believe by cher.....all those tracks remember we used to listen to and sing along all the while moving our head and grooving to the rythm?
Cant say this anymore about the tracks these days...i think there are just so many many tracks coming out now that its really hard to keep a track of each and every one of them...maybe there are good ones too, of course there are bound to be...but what about this music that we all have heard sometime or the other and really loved and connected with? Some of us am sure will have special memories attached to many of these songs, I do...and i really miss listening to more music like this anymore..

With Language Politics On, Mumbai could soon give cold feet...

2010-09-29T09:55:00.003+05:30

Even as India strives to be one with the global world out there, proving to the world that we are not lesser capable than anyone else, that we have what it takes to be a winner, a few narrow-minded politicos are hell bent on creating a barrier within the country itself.

If earlier forcing every shop in the state to display its name in Marathi was not enough, the Maharashtra government has passed a new rule which says that for any grievance that you wish to bring to the notice of the authorities needs to be in Marathi only. The State Consumer Redressal Commission has issued a circular making it mandatory for all complaints at consumer forums to be filed in Marathi.

I dont know much of Marathi, but I know a hindi saying and this is what I have to say to the 'khaandaan' in Mumbai (or BOMBAY as I will still call it) - 'Tucchh log tucchh vichaar', which, translated into English means - low level people low level mentality.

What is it with these politicos emerging out of this one family that is only pulling down Mumbai into the gutters? Talk about hypocrisy and being a frog in the well (well well its not well in this well for sure).....sending their own children to English medium schools and holding lecture sessions proclaiming that all kids should 'COMPULSORILY' learn marathi....while their own kids learn French as a language.
I have been living in Mumbai for the past 4 years and I have started learning the language out of my own choice. Not because some stupid neta said so over the microphone. I like languages and it is the only way I believe that someone should learn a new language, if you like it you learn it.....

As far as forcing it down the throat is concerned, well, now if the middle finger responds to that, I am not to blame!

Talk of not getting enough work, and if this attitude continues, it wont be long before major players in the Mumbai market begin to pull away their executives to better and more sensible places. I guess the only work left in Mumbai then would be to open Marathi schools and try and teach the language to those left behind....

The Friendly Elevator

2010-09-19T18:36:00.003+05:30

Living in an apartment building there are many people you come across everyday. People who may be dear friends, people who are your immediate neighbours, people you meet on and off and know just as a face and people who you don't know at all.
I happen to live on the 23rd floor and everytime I get into the elevator there is bound to be someone or the other who will get in before I reach the ground level. Over the last couple of years I have realised this is one of the best ways to get to know those who live in your building.
Each morning when I take the lift to drop my daughter to her school bus I meet people who are leaving for office. On most days the faces are same. Its almost a routine, so much so that I know exactly which floors the elevator will stop before we reach ground zero. These people generally hold the lift for some time while the wife/maid/mother hands them their tiffin and wishes them a good day. They are usually loaded with a laptop bag/files/folders/of course the tiffin that was just handed and are all set to face a new day, albeit with some boredom. I wish there was more enthusiasm there. A simple smile and a nod suffices in these cases.
Then there are those I meet while going back up after dropping my daughter for school. This time round the traffic is of a different kind. Not the office-goers, these are others who come to drop their children for school, mostly mothers/grandparents, people returning from morning walk/yoga classes/temple/gym, maids coming in for work. They will usually talk about the latest happenings in other families in the building, complaining about this or that, asking me to visit them sometime (to which I politely nod my head and invite them back-of course none of us ever visits each others' home). There is not much to talk here either, but lots to hear ;)
The next session when I go down is when i have to leave for work/meeting. This time round its mostly the college students who enter the lift, their ears shut out to the outside world in the music of an i-pod or the regular phone, their jaws working in a constant rythm with the chewing gum, their eyes on their sneakers. We share a 'hi',talk about which song is playing, nod, smile and thats it.
On days when I return late I usually end up being in the lift alone, or maybe someone else too is returning from work and we end up taking the lift together. Conversations in this scenario will mostly begin with complaints about the trafiic, about how the roads are packed, about a busy day, about the kind of work that we do, about general chit-chat related to work and traffic. Then again a bye and a good-night as each one gets off at their respective floors.
On days when I am at home I usually take my daughter down to the park. Such evenings are fun for both her and me as we almost always meet our friends in the elevator who are going to the park as well. So its my friends and their children who are my daughter's friends and there is always a lot of noise and commotion and singing and talking and chatting and trying to control the kids to which we all fail miserably when they gang up and decide to be naughty together...on such days when we return back home together its a lot of fun.....
Most of these people, apart from our friends, we hardly visit at home or meet on other days or on personal ocassions. We do not invite each other to our parties, we do not even converse beyond the elevator conversations. But on days when someone is missing from that regular schedule, we all wait to see if the person is coming or not, asking them the next day if they are fine, if they had gone on a trip. We hardly know them, yet know where they live, who is in the family, where they work and what is the nature of their work.
Neighbours they are, and if it wasnt for the elevator, where else would we have met?

Wavin' Flag by K Naan

2010-09-09T10:42:00.003+05:30

Im sure ALL of you have heard and swayed along to the Wavin Flag by K Naan this year right?

You haven't? Well then, you really dont know what you have missed out on.

The song that was chosen as the Coca-Cola's promotional anthem for the 2010 FIFA World Cup hosted by South Africa had already hit the #1 spot in places on the globe like Germany, Switzerland, Austria, Canada, Italy, UK and Ireland. And of course by now, its reached almost a cult status in India as well.

The best way to listen to this song, as I have rightfully discovered, is to directly plug it in your ears and pump up the volume - you cant go wrong on that one, the song is literally blow you off your feet and make you sway and dance along with the beats, and beware, you may even put your hands up and start swaying with the Wavin' Flag...

For You Didan....Rest In Peace.

2010-09-01T21:16:00.003+05:30

Didan – a term of endearment. Many in Bangla call their maternal grandmother dida…I called, or rather, will still call mine ‘didan’.
The very first memory I have of didan is when she had come over to Delhi to our home to look after me, while my mother was expecting her second baby. I was somewhere between five and six years of age that time and it was the very first time that I had been away from my ma. Didan had come to look after me specifically for that reason – that I do not feel lonely and that I could get the love and care of a mother – she is my ma’s ma after all.
The first image I have of her is surely from then. I was alone at home with her, and she was telling me a story, trying to make me finish my food spoon by spoon. I remember she would try and try for hours on end and when I still did not listen, she would admonish me with that gentlest of voices, telling me that since I was not listening to my didan, she would have to go away. Most of the time that did the trick and I was back to listening to her. Of course that would be followed by a story and putting me off to sleep in her arms.
As we were growing up, our interactions with didan were more and more restricted to school holidays and vacations. We would look forward to visiting her in the house at Assam. It was always a joy – plunging into that treasure chest of stories that she always had with her, listening to all those childhood memories she would relate to us about when we were small, taking part in some childhood conspiracy and being on our side if we got caught – the typical ‘grandparent’ thing that every child looks forward to. And of course when we visited her, there were always those special dishes that only a grandma can prepare. I don’t remember all of that though, but what I still remember is that on those afternoons, when she would cook up something special for us kids, we would all be sitting together around the dining-table that was covered in an oil-cloth, waiting for her to come and feed us all, and the added attraction being the story to accompany the warm delicious food.
Over time those stories spilled over to an interest in books, and as my ma introduced me to the world of books, didan further helped me understand that world better by gifting me books and making me know how special they are. Today, my little daughter is already a book-addict, and I have didan to thank for playing a part in it.
I used to write to didan in Bangla, a script I hardly used with anyone but didan and maashi, and she would always tell me she loved reading my letters. In later years, the letters gradually disappeared and instead, we would sometimes end up talking over the phone, her soft voice always asking me how I was and what it was that I was doing, always trying to take an interest in my life and understand me better.
Years passed, I grew up and got married. She was very old that time, but still she made it all the way to Delhi, just to attend my marriage and give me her blessings, placing her hand on my head and telling me that her wishes would always be with me.
I remember last year when I took my daughter to meet her for the first time, it was such a special moment - my didan meeting her daughter’s daughter’s daughter - it was a really special moment. And I am glad it happened, she was so happy to meet her fourth generation.
I was planning to visit her again this year, but that time will never come now and I will always have that one regret, that I wanted her to meet my daughter again, to show her how she is growing up, but it was not to be.
The day didan passed away there was a bright moon outside my window, its glow somewhat dimmed by the clouds. I looked out at the sky and as I did so, a touch of that silver came down and settled on my hand. As a child I remember having heard that when someone passes away, they go up there to live in the sky. Was she up there that moment? Was she sending her blessing, her caress, down on me? I liked to think of it that way. And I closed my eyes and talked to her. I told her I am sorry I did not take care to be with her sooner than I had planned, I told her I loved her for all those times she had spent with me and those times she had been away but still her blessings and love were with me, I thanked her for blessing my daughter, and I told her that night, that if again I get a chance of meeting her, I would not waste a moment again, but tell her how much I love her.
That night as I went to sleep I looked out in the dark and smiled, thinking that from somewhere, didan was surely watching me.
I don’t know the truth or false of it, but all I know is, that for me, my didan will always still be very much alive, very much a part of who I am, and when my daughter grows up, I will tell her about didan and how special she was.

An Indian Wife's Poem.....

2010-08-31T23:43:00.004+05:30

This just came in the mailbox....and I really just had to share it here... All thoughts and ideas expressed here, the entire poem, is someone else's work and what you see here is merely a copy of that...nothing related to my views or thoughts, just a few funny lines...

He didn't like the curry
And he didn't like my cake
He said my biscuits were too hard,
Not like his mother used to make....
I didn't prepare the coffee right
He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Isn't there anything I could do
To match his mother's shoe
Then I smiled as I saw light
One thing I could definitely do
I turned around and slapped him tight....
Like his mother used to!!!!!

author unknown...

Let's Help Them....You Know You Can

2010-08-29T22:37:00.004+05:30

Remember the last time you went past that red signal on the intersection? The little boy peering in the window, trying to convince you to hand him some coins so he could have some food, so he could give some to his little sister who was standing with him, holding on to the thin hand with little thin fingers. Remember that look?

Remember that young woman, poor and helpless, standing at a side of the road, waiting for the light to turn red so she could walk up to the many tinted windows and ask the people sitting inside in the cool air to give her something, some loose change, some money, so that she could buy some milk for the little infant who was hanging from her saree end, tied up in an old rag around her reed-thin body, the little head dangling dangerously from side-to-side. Remember the way she was wringing out water from her wet saree, the cloth that had got soaked wet in the rain, the same cloth that she was using and would use through the day to tie her little infant in? The wet cloth that the infant would be strapped in the whole day?

Remember that old woman you saw sitting on the pavement, too old to get up and come to your window, but looking out at you nonetheless, waiting for some hand to roll out of a window and hand her some change that could buy her next meal maybe.

Maybe you remember,
Maybe you don't
Maybe you'll help them,
Maybe you won't.
Maybe you will look around for those coins after all
And hand it out without a second look,
Maybe you will shrug and call it all a fraud
"They don't need any money, they are all just crooks.".......
Maybe they really don't need any money
Just a little smile and a little help still could do,
Why not a pack of biscuits,
Or some fresh food or fruits,
Why not a bottle of milk
Or the old clothes you know will never again be worn on you.......

We all say these children begging on the roads, these women with the infants strapped to them and even the old people who look so helpless, are all just a part of a criminal activity going on, that this is all a sham, that none of this is real, that they are all just acting.....

And of course I do not advocate handing them any money...coz who knows where the money will go, and more often than not, they will only be passing on the money to the many 'dons' and beggar-lords who run the show...so no help for the real ones in need....

So why not help them a little tiny bit by giving them something that will really help? A little tiny gesture from our side that would mean so much more to them. Next time when you head out in your car, why not make it a practice to keep a few packets of biscuits in the glove compartment, so that when the little one comes up to beg and ask for money for food, you can hand him the packet, some real food.....Believe me, they really need it....So many times I have handed out packets of biscuits to these little unfortunate ones, and they have grabbed it with a big smile, tearing it open and finishing off the contents, showing it off to their friends who then have been directed to me, and I have handed them out more packs, so they all could eat.....I cant tell you how it felt to see those smiles for some time. Who knows, maybe it was the only decent food they will have in the whole day, at least they had something then...And maybe someone else will think likewise in the evening and give them another packet in the evening....

Your closet desperately needs some cleaning and the old clothes are spilling out, with you constantly in a fight with your cupboard and its contents, trying to keep them under control while they threaten to revolt....why not take them out and sort them out as per age and wearability? Why not make piles of clothes that are sorted out based on who can use them, like infants, kids, women, men. Then you can easily take the bundles and hand them to the local beggar kids and women, even the old people who sit begging on the streets. Don't tell me "I wont do it coz they will only go and sell it off..." You know its an excuse, it sounds unreal and unconvincing even to yourself. And even if they do sell it off, what would you have done with those clothes in the first place? Never worn them again, keep pushing them at the back of your cupboard, and then maybe sell it off to a guy who buys old papers and stuff? Wouldn't you be selling it off too? Come on, you dont need those any more, so why not give it to someone who will definitely use it some way or the other? Old shoes and sandals (but please, only the ones that are wearable...not ones that are beyond repair!!) old sweaters, caps, mufflers, socks, handkerchiefs, napkins, towels...basically anything that you will not use....why not share it with them?

On birthdays, anniversaries, special occasions, we all go out and celebrate, throwing lavish parties and spending big moolah..... great.... but why not add a little bit more joy to all these good times by sharing that happiness with some of our less fortunate friends? Birthday...why not go to the nearest orphanage and give them a birthday treat...a birthday cake and some chips and food maybe. Or why not share some food with the beggar kids near your place? Why wait for occasions? If you can, why not make some extra food once a week, or once in a while, a proper meal, even something as simple as noodles if a meal is too much...and why not head out and just hand it out to them? I have handed out full meals to these kids....and mind you, not to the adults who roam around, but only the kids, and I have waited to see that its only the kids who sit and eat the food, and have left after they have had their fill..This way, atleast you can make sure that what you are giving to the kids is not being taken away by the adults who are always nearby. Some days I have given them noodles and they were so happy, some days I gave idli-dosa and that too is a different food item than what they usually get. Even sandwich...they love that...

But almost always, we have started keeping packs of biscuits and cornflakes in the car, so that whenever that knock comes on the window, we are ready to give back something to that endearing smile that hardly has any reason to smile.....

You can do that too....so why not start today and feel the happiness within? Thanks a million if you decided to do so too........And if you still will not do that little bit, well what can I say.....

Delhi Monsoon - The Way I Remember It From The 'Then'....

2010-08-26T11:34:00.002+05:30

I was a little off the news scene for the last couple of days and had missed many a headline. So it came as rather a shock and surprise when I called up my parents in Delhi to ask them how they were and the response I got war – “Pretty difficult this time, given that it is a first for Delhi to get flooded.” What??!!! Had I heard that right? I thought they were confusing things with Mumbai getting flooded in the monsoons or something - at least it sounded more normal. I shared my confusion and they told me it had rained heavily for a few hours and that all the roads and lanes and places were flooded. Was I not watching any news or reading any paper? I admitted I wasn’t.

So the next thing I did was to leave the phone and switch on the television. The TV screen now is flooded with images of a flooded Delhi!!!! There is water everywhere and people are going about with a dazed expression – ‘how did this happen in Delhi’ - they seem to be thinking. Not that it is a surprise though. Delhi’s roads and drainage system are not made to handle so much rain, actually hardly any rain. As it is more of a dry state, the little rainfall it has always received has been enough to keep its citizens happy. And the drains and roads have only got used to that till now. Till now…………now the rain gods seem to have finally changed their mind.

I have lived in Delhi for 25 years. That’s a long long time. And for all those twenty-five years I have experienced monsoon in Delhi as a mere trickle, now that I compare it to the monsoon in Mumbai. Not that I felt that way earlier, when I lived there that is. I have never seen Delhi this wet, grappling to come to life after the rains have flooded everything around, even the Metro tracks as well as normal rail tracks and other routes have been flooded and thrown out of gear and East Delhi cut off from the rest of the capital. It’s a really different experience for me, to see this chaos in a Delhi that has hardly ever received so much rain in any monsoon previously. Almost all news channels and papers are reporting the Delhi monsoon in the exact same terms – waterlogging, traffic snarls, stinking garbage, outbreak of water-borne diseases………. But I remember the Delhi monsoon in a totally different picture frame…..the rain drops on my forehead, the smell of wet earth filling up my senses…….

When we were small and the rains would approach, even a little amount of that water from the skies was enough to make us shout ‘monsoon’. Delhi was always the place of less rainfall. Its people complained about the heat and the dust and the lack of rains, and just as it would begin to seem there was no end to the sweaty torture of those pre-monsoon days, the clouds would break and the rains would arrive to soothe our burning skins.
A shout would go out in the lanes and by-lanes, with mothers running to pick up the clothes hanging on the clothes line, and grandmothers and aunts scurrying about, collecting the pickles that had been kept out on the terrace in the sun.
Children would begin to scream about in the gully, with young boys gathered to play cricket enjoying a match in the rain.
Students returning from school making a splash in the puddle.
Girls returning home from tuition would scamper for cover, their heads covered in dupatta, the ones in jeans trying to shield themselves with their books and hands.
Mothers would quickly return from the terrace with the pile of clothes in hand, dumping it on the bed and running to close the windows if there was any wind with the rain, else they would let the breeze fill up inside the house, and proceed to check where the children were, often finding them getting wet in the rain and bringing them in with a scold and a tug at the ear.
On the road, people driving the scooters would scamper for cover, huddling together at bus stops to escape getting wet.
On those wet evenings when the fathers returned from work, they would always bring a brown paper bag of hot and spicy pakodas, samosas and juicy sweet jalebi, handing it to the mothers who would keep it in the kitchen, to bring it back a little while later with a tray of steaming hot cups of ‘adrak chai’ (ginger tea) and a warm glass of milk for the kids to gulp down the sweet jalebi with.
The lights would invariably go off even with a little rain and some thunder, and families would sit together around the flickers of a candle, talking about the day, complaining about the electricity board’s inefficiency, mothers scolding children for not finishing homework before it became dark, and amidst all this, a cry going out through the neighbourhood again as the lights would return back to life……..almost always the kids from the mohalla would shout ‘aa gayi’ to announce that power supply was back again…..

It was a nice time as I remember it, those Delhi monsoons, filled with so many memories of those lovely days of my childhood. Now things are changing….Delhi is flooding!!!! I still find it unbelievable!!!!
But every time I will think of the monsoon in Delhi, it will always be about those cool green days, when the aroma of the earth would drift inside my pores, when life would feel so magical and poetic yet again.

A Few Lines From 'The Last Mughal' by William Dalrymple

2010-08-25T22:37:00.005+05:30

I am in the midst of reading one of the most impressive and wonderful historical texts that has ever been written - 'The Last Mughal, the fall of a Dynasty. Delhi. 1857' by William Dalrymple.

I had heard so much about this book, especially as it is about my homeland, and one of my ever-and-most favourite cities, Delhi, that I was more interested in reading it. And as I began turning the pages I realised this would be one of the most precious books I will ever own, not in a monetary sense alone, but more because of the priceless information that lies between the 550-odd pages.

More on this book will keep appearing in other posts as I keep reading, but for now, I simply had to share these lines from the book, these lovely lines that talk about my city, Delhi, and bring back beautiful memories, of a city that has raised me and made me fall in love with it despite its many pitfalls.

Excerpts from the book, describing William Dalrymple's first encounters with the city of Delhi:

'I would take a rickshaw into the innards of the Old City (Old Delhi) and pass through the narrowing funnel of gullies and lanes, alleys and cul-de-sacs, feeling the houses close in around me. In particular, what remained of Zafar's palace, the Red Fort of the Great Mughals, kept drawing me back, and I often used to slip in with a book and spend whole afternoons there, in the shade of some cool pavilion."

"I have now divided my time between London and Delhi for over twenty years and the Indian capital remains my favourite city. Above all it is the city's relationship with its past which continues to intrigue me: of the great cities of the world, only Rome, Istanbul and Cairo can even begin to rival Delhi for the sheer volume and density of historic remains. Crumbling tomb towers, old mosques or ancient colleges intrude in the most unlikely places, appearing suddenly on roundabouts or in municipal gardens, diverting the road network and obscuring the fairways of the golf course. New Delhi is not new at all; instead, it is a groaning necropolis, with enough ruins to keep any historian busy through several incarnations."

"I am hardly alone in being struck by this: the ruins of Delhi are something visitors have always been amazed by........
For miles in every direction, half collapsed and overgrown, robbed and reoccupied, neglected by all, lay the remains of six hundred years of trans-Indian Imperium....hammams and garden palaces, thousand-pillared halls and mighty tomb towers, empty mosques and deserted Sufi shrines - there seemed to be no end to the litter of ages."

"One of the most enjoyable aspects of working with him (referring to William Dalrymple's colleague Mahmood Farooqui) on Bahadur Shah Zafar has been gradually piecing together the events and shape of this book over a Karim's kebab, a Kapashera biryani or, more usually, a simple glass of hot sweet National Archives chai."

"...Delhi has always been quite clear about its superiority to the rest of the country. It was the seat of the Great Mughal and the place where the most chaste Urdu was spoken. It believed it had the best-looking women, the finest mangoes, the most talented poets."

And here is a look at the treasures that lie hidden in the National Archives in Delhi:

"Yet all this time in the National Archives there existed as detailed a documentation of the four months of the Uprising in Delhi as can exist for any Indian city at any period of history - great unwieldy mountains of chits, pleas, orders, petitions, complaints, receipts, rolls of attendance and lists of casualties, predictions of victory and promises of loyalty, notes from spies of dubious reliability and letters from eloping lovers - all neatly bound in string and boxed up in the cool, hushed, air-conditioned vaults of the Indian National Archives."

Truly, just the first few pages and this book is already such a revelation !!!!!

I have only just begun, but if you have not read this book yet, really, it is time you do so. For this is the first book ever that has impacted me so much into reading on history and reliving all those events and memories that happened at some era in the past.....Thanks Mr. Dalrymple....

A Few TV Sitcoms I Am Watching These Days

2010-08-25T15:40:00.007+05:30

Been watching a couple of great TV series on my laptop these last few days. Always find it more interesting and of course, more convenient, when things go as per your beck and call...so no surprise here that I am not as much a fan of TV as I am of a few TV series....

The new one that landed my way is called 'Royal Pains', right now both hubby n me pretty hooked on to it in a big way. The series is about a young ER doctor, Hank Lawson, who, after being wrongly blamed for a rich patient's death, moves to the Hamptons and becomes a concierge doctor, or a 'doctor for hire' for rich and famous patients. Curious and weird cases come up as one after the other interesting and sometimes funny incidents happen that call for his attention. Though Hank is reluctant to have joined such a service which clearly clashes with his regular idea of what a doctor needs to be, he soon begins to love and enjoy the work he is doing.
Currently in its second season.
Main characters are: Dr. Hank Lawson, Evan Lawson, Dr. Jill Casey, Boris, Divya Katdaria

Royal Pains

The TV series by HBO, Entourage, is another one such series that has managed to interest me in recent times. Though it is now in its seventh season, I am still in the earlier seasons. Initially I was not much impressed by the begining, but as I began to watch it regularly, the storyline as well as the characters began to grow on me and I am now quite hooked on to what these guys are up to.
The series is about a young actor Vincent Chase who is slowly making it big in Hollywood. The plot is loosely based on Mark Wahlberg's life, one of the series producers, whose experiences as an up-and-coming film star have been used in the plot.
The series revolves around Vince and his 'entourage' - his best friend Eric fondly called 'E' by the group, who also works as his manager, Vince's elder half-brother Johny 'Drama' Chase, and another of Vince's childhood friend, Turtle. The last in the entourage is Vince's agent Ari Gold.
Watch the series for many special appearances by many Hollywood biggies.

(From L-R) Johny Drama, Turtle, Vince, E, Ari

One series I had really started loving and looking forward to was Joey...Remember Joey from FRIENDS? Once the FRIENDS team split, Matthew LeBlanc had been part of a new series which took his character Joey from FRIENDS to the next level. Many people felt it was a wrong move to start it after FRIENDS, but if seen apart from FRIENDS and not as a connecting series, I think it was going really well. The series was stopped after the first season without any ending, so maybe they will bring it back again sometime.
Main characters are: Joey, Alex, Michael, Gina, Bobbie, Zach

When Budget For A CommonWealth Is Important Than The Life Of A Child

2010-08-24T12:59:00.001+05:30

The planned budget for the Commonwealth Games was a whopping $1.6 billion, which went up by at least 06-10%. The scams that came to light recently revealed how much of that money went into the pockets of the senior management responsible for planning the games in New Delhi.

India is a rich country, with lots of moolah to spare, lots of moolah to pocket…

But when it comes to the real causes, the ones that really need some money and help, how much is being done really?

The first news that hit me in yesterday’s Mumbai daily was the story about the death of five children in the state-run orphanage at Shahpur, Satkarm Balgriha, about 70kms from Mumbai, which is used as a shelter for mentally-challenged kids. And that was not all. The picture that accompanied the story was even more heart-wrenching – that of a severely under-nourished boy of five, whose arms had turned as thin as sticks, clutching desperately at a pack of biscuits that the reporter from the newspaper had offered him. The reporters were shocked to find that all the children in the orphanage were severely starved and had not had a proper meal in days. Many of them were suffering from skin and other infections and had been locked together in a room where they ate, slept and defecated.

The children jumped on the few packets of biscuits that the reporters had to offer them, lunging at the food in a desperate measure to curb the hunger. But the Administrator had a different story ready ‘they were fed eggs in breakfast and mutton for lunch” he had the nerve to straight talk of eggs and mutton!!!

When asked why the children who had died of infection and starvation had not been taken to a hospital for treatment, Administrator of the orphanage, Jitendra Chavan, claimed they had not received any funds from the government in the past couple of months, nor was there any help from any NGO or other source. They also stated that the cost of maintaining the orphanage and looking after so many sick children was very high. “The ambulance charges Rs.3000/- per trip to Thane or Mumbai and we don’t have that much fund. So we lock them up in a room to remove them from the other kids” is what explanation they had.

Currently the orphanage has 18 inmates, out of which 05 are in immediate danger of death due to starvation. These are 08-year-old Gopal, 08-year-old Ameya, 09-year-old Sunny, 12-year-old Deepika and 05-year-old Hitesh (in the picture). The little ones who died without given a chance of a rescue were 14-year-old Sameer, 15-year-old Pawan, 12-year-old Divya, Deepak whose age was unknown and Ramu, whose age is unknown but what is known is that in addition to being mentally challenged he was deaf and mute.

Today’s paper reported that after yesterday’s story on the sad state of the shelter, the Child Welfare Committee has ‘rescued’ these kids from the orphanage, only to send them to any orphanage in the city that will accept them.

The fate of these kids is unknown. Like the reporter very rightly mentioned, by tomorrow, we will all have moved on to some other ‘new’ story, but what will remain unchanged is the fact that the government today has not only turned deaf and mute, unable to see what wrongs are being committed and unable to stop what injustice is meted out, it has also turned into a useless piece of liability – a government that is repeatedly elected by the biggest democracy in the world, only to make a fool of its citizens each time.

Navi Mumbai Mangroves - More Than Just The Oil Spill

2010-08-21T21:38:00.004+05:30

Ever since the oil spill happened, people have been talking about the harmful effects of the oil on the mangroves and how the green belt needs to be protected. Of course it is a good thing that people, and also the media and government, are realising the importance and value of our precious mangroves and discussing steps that may help its cause.

The oil spill has happened only now. But there is much that has been going on for a long time without being reported or being looked into. And even if something has been reported, no action has been taken in the required direction.

Mangroves are unique trees that can grow only in saline conditions. These not only help bind the soil and prevent flooding but also provide shelter to marine life, innumerable species of insects and certain reptiles (remember the 07-foot reptile that caused a ten-car-pile-up on the Palm Beach Road), as also birds and many migratory birds that visit us each year. And of course the fact also remains that these mangroves provide us with such a vast belt of greenery.

People who live near the mangroves are aware of the fact that the authorities have been turning a blind eye where there is definitely need for action. It is common knowledge that locals from the nearby slums as well as labourers living nearby have been chopping away the branches to use as fire for cooking. Not only that, the mangroves are being mercilessly hacked and even though the authorities have been informed about it many times, they simply choose to ignore the complaints.

One of the main functions of the mangroves is to help bind the soil and prevent flooding. This basic natural phenomenon has been blatantly put to shame as a concrete road (built illegally of course) now runs inside the entire length of the mangroves. And to add more insult to the face of those who claim to be a part of the authority, even a gate has been built on the main Palm Beach Road in Vashi, leading inside the mangroves – a gate without any walls around it!!! Granted, the authorities may not be aware of the other illegal acts going on inside the mangroves (though local residents will tell you much about it), but how can someone not see an entire gate and a proper functional road that came up all of a sudden inside the greens?

If - and they have been informed about it - the authorities would care to turn an eye towards the same, they would know that on this road many cars and tempos make forays into the mangroves in the dead of the night, or in hours when most of the world is asleep, only to return after some time, fully loaded, and moving away in different directions (there is always at least a group of three or four cars or tempos if not more, and also a few labourers) once they are out of the mangroves and hit the highway. Who knows what all comes in those tempos apart from the wood? Your guess is as good as mine.

Garbage is being slowly dumped in the mangroves, threatening to turn it into a huge garbage belt. Also, sudden fires have been seen erupting in the mangroves belt. Residents inform the police and fire brigade, but many times, as no one turns up, they have to take the initiative of trying to douse the fire on their own, while other times, it is left to die out on its own, leaving behind a trail of burnt residue. Also, the area near and around the mangroves is being illegally used for fish farming.

All this might not be such common knowledge among the general public as is the news about the oil spill and its said impact. Of course these things have not been so vigorously reported.

Thankfully, the younger generation and the various residents’ associations have been actively trying to do their bit to preserve our greens. Many schools have launched plantation drives. Ryan International in fact came up with an environment week where the students took part not only in plantation drives, but also marched to create awareness about global warming and citizen’s role in preventing it, and also collected signatures from people in support of saving our mangroves.

But unless and until the authorities wake up and get back their conscience, nothing will be as good as it should be.

Plants and Animal Welfare Society (PAWS)

2010-08-17T19:25:00.004+05:30

PAWS works actively to rescue animals, birds and plants that are in any kind of distress or are being misused by others.

If you see any creature or plant in distress, please do your bit by contacting them in the following manner:

Phone:
09920777536 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 09920777536 end_of_the_skype_highlighting / 09820161114 (Nilesh Bhanage)
09882016114 (Manasi)
09892179542
09820678206
HELPLINE: 09833480388
022-25968313
022-25968314

Email:
nilesh@pawsasia.org
manai@pawsasia.org
paws@aol.in
pawsmumbai@indiatimes.com

NOTE: Donation to the noble cause of Jeevdaya are exempted under section 80G of Income Tax Act, 1961
(PAWS is Non-Profit, Charitable registered charity which is Affiliated with RSCPA, UK and member Society of WSPA, UK and recognized by Animal Welfare Board Chennai)

Wishing You Independence Day, Still Waiting For The 'Happy' Part Of It......

2010-08-16T00:22:00.002+05:30

Wishing you all Independence Day for now,will be 'Happy' one when:

1.we can provide a smile, an education, proper nutritious and fulfilling meals and a safe shelter to all the children... And when we can protect our young ones from those perverts and paedophiles who hide behind the mask of a neighbour, a relative or a friend...
2.we can save and keep intact our flora fauna and earth for our next generations
3.we can get rid of every politician and corrupt person forever and never ever have to face the disgrace called 'corruption'
4.when the people of J&K (and similar affected areas) can again, for a change, remember the meaning of the words 'safe' and 'happy' and know what it means to be the citizens of a free country
5.when humans stop becoming animals and abusing beasts, using and misusing them for their own shameful benefits
6.when India can still manage to save itself from the international debacle called Common Games and hope to get back some respect and dignity in the international circle
7.when the poor dont have to freeze to death in winters while sleeping under trees and on pavements, with just an old newspaper sheet to use as a blanket
8.when women and children dont have to walk barefoot for miles each day just to get one small jug of water
9.when the errant and the spoilt brats learn to respect the value of a human life and dont randomly crush living humans under the wheels of their fancy rides
10.when women in our country truly realise the full meaning of the word 'freedom' - freedom from infanticide, freedom from 'male' pests, freedom from lewd comments and gestures, freedom from groping and touching, freedom to travel on their own without a male to accompany, freedom to walk on the road without the stares and the catcalls, freedom from the fear of a male stalking at a deserted spot, freedom from the demands of in-laws, freedom from the death-trap of dowry, freedom to be married and yet remain a daughter to her parents, freedom to expect the same love and dignity even when she has not produced a baby, freedom to show the world her own identity, freedom for the girl child to demand education and an equal treatment as that of a boy, freedom from all those taboos and superstitions that still bind her growth....

There are still so many points to our freedom clause.....I just wanted to talk of these ones first...but I know you too have your own ones, so please feel free to share the same here......

As We Push Mother Earth To Her End........

2010-08-12T11:01:00.002+05:30

The oil spill that happened in Mumbai now is just another step towards man’s destruction of our home – the abode we call Earth.

I have been to the Uran beach before – it is a beautiful place with clean water, where you could sit with your friends and family, look out at the beautiful ships that sail ashore, the flames from the refinery reaching up to the sky.

I live on a lovely expressway, with the sea spread out in front of my windows, the green carpet of mangroves spreading out right in front of my rooms. The migratory birds are always flying about in the mangroves, we are lucky to never face any flooding or water-logging during the peak Mumbai monsoon months thanks to the mangroves again, and there is always a fresh and cool breeze gushing through the house.

After the oil spill, many things have now begun to change.

The Uran beach that was once blessed with clean and pristine water is now a mess – a garbage dump to be precise. As the containers continue to spill goods from a different continent – tea, coffee, biscuits and many many more things – locals have not spared a minute to snatch the loot. And now, the same people who hauled all the loot are complaining of various problems, caused by the various chemicals. After the media kept flashing videos of the grabbing spree, the authorities have finally issued a warning, asking people to stay away from the beaches for the next few weeks at least. Of course this being India, anyone would hardly give it a serious thought – you see, the ‘sab chalta hai’ attitude is far too strong here in this country.

I pride myself in living in one of the best areas of Mumbai, with one of the best views the city has to offer. Now that may be in an imminent danger. As I tuned in to one news channel yesterday evening, I was shocked and sad at the same time to see the condition of the precious mangroves that are such a natural gift. The Uran beach is very near my place and the oil and chemicals from the spill from the ship has reached the mangroves, resulting in the trees being charred and left as a standing burnt heap of black. I could not believe the picture as the media flashed it on the screen. The huge green belt of mangroves stands quietly in the background, a mute spectator to the destruction, while the entire section of the trees in the front has been charred. As the spill will continue to make its way in, environmentalists have said the entire mangroves will be charred and finished – I don’t want to see that happening ever. As there is no other barrier between our homes and the sea, apart from the mangroves, this will further lead to a massive flooding of the areas situated right next to the mangroves, that is, where I live now.

The fish is already gone – dead by now.
The clean water is gone – black and oily and a floating bed of chemicals and poison.
The trees are gone – charred to death.
The flora and fauna in the mangroves is about to go – dying, or the ones who will be lucky to be alive, fleeting.
The sea and all aquatic creatures are already choked or choking to death – the oil and the plastics and the chemicals all set to kill them.

This is just a tiny picture – less than even one percent of the damage and havoc we all are so serious about creating. We, the human race, have already set out to finish off all that is good about our mother Earth. We have all vowed to make sure not to leave any specimen of nature around for our children and their children – provided the planet will still be there when they are born. We are doing good, the Earth will surely be destroyed, it has already begun, and we are going in the exact direction of extinction, as we have planned for our next generation.

Are we even ashamed of what we are doing? Of course none of us is, coz if we were, we would start doing something about it...

Now the only thing left to be seen is, how much longer will mother Earth be able to bear this pain?

Birthday Candles - When More Is Beautiful

2010-08-06T18:26:00.002+05:30

Last week was my hubby’s birthday. I decided to surprise him by arranging a surprise birthday and all our friends were sweet enough to wait till midnight and then come over to our place with a big birthday cake, all lighted up in the glow of the many candles.

Two days earlier when I was in the shop ordering the cake, the man at the counter had asked me the age of the birthday boy so he could give me those numbered candles, the one that are so in fashion now. I told him specially to give me the simple candles instead. I would put the exact number of candles equivalent to the age and then light them up, the candles spreading the birthday glow. The shopkeeper asked me again if I was sure I didn’t want the numeric ones, and then, after a glance at me shaking my head, proceeded to hand me a small packet filled with pink-and-blue small simple candles.

I remember my own birthday get-togethers, the birthday cake being brought in and everyone stopping whatever it was they were doing, to look at the cake being brought to the table, surrounded by a special birthday glow. And when the birthday boy/girl bent over the candle, the glow would get transported to their face. I remember how excited I would be to see the candles increase each year, I was growing up and slowly getting an entry into the ‘big’ world – it was something to look forward to in all those childhood years.

It’s my daughter’s birthday next week and I have already arranged for the tiny number of candles she needs. She had a numeric one last year, but this time she will have more fun blowing out the simpler ones.

I also realised one thing now. If you go for the numbered ones, all your life you will only have one or two candles to blow….imagine someone having three numbered candles on their birthday…well, you would have to complete a century for that, a very long story there……

So, in complete compliance to the birthday spirit, I will continue to use these simple and regular candles. As the years progress the glow will grow, as will the cheer and the blowing and whistling …

Enduring Friendship Day In Your Late 20s

2010-08-02T00:29:00.000+05:30

Okay, so officially it is still Friendship Day, its 10 minutes to 12 so I can still safely wish all my friends a very happy friendship day. Not that I really celebrate this ‘special’ day anymore. I don’t. Not since I passed out of my college days have I actually celebrated friendship day with too much zeal. These ‘marked’ days don’t really work for me that well, I cant remember all of them for starters, and it is a real pain and embarrassment when you go about these ‘special’ days doing your regular own thing and someone calls and wishes you, or maybe it’s some-or-the-other of those ‘relationship’ days and the relation calls you and you end the conversation without even wishing them. That could very well be construed as rude, isn’t it?

I remember it was a really big thing when I was in school. We would be planning the day weeks in advance and there would be a festive feel on the special day. Even when I had my college friends the same feeling persisted. It was always a lot of fun going out together with your friends and doing the same things that you did with them on all other days – hanging out, talking, chatting, fighting, teasing, doing all those things that you do at that giggling age, that are so annoying for everyone else but you and your group. Of course I did all that too and of course I think that each kid should go through that phase at that time in their life. Its another kind of fun after all.

Now things have changed. The years have rolled by and some format of maturity has started to settle in.

I do not do any of those things any more. I do still have my own and lovely set of friends. But the best part now is that I can hang out and chill out and have fun as and when I want, I don’t really need an Archies outlet or a special day to tell me what is the right time to tell my friends know how special they are, or what is THE right thing to gift.

My daughter celebrated friendship day today with a lot of fun. She had her first friendship day last year when she was just about to turn 2. And this year, when she is just readying to turn into a lady of three, she had a great time on friendship’s day. After her friends left, we headed to the mall. And what a disaster it was…not that anyone is to blame, of course we knew it was friendship day, so what were we thinking?

Enduring these days when you are in your late 20s is a hazard, a scare, a pain in all the wrong places. Sorry about my choice of words but its just that I could not think of anything better to portray the way I felt today.

For starters, friendship day is always supposed to be on a Sunday. Which is even worse. You see, the messages on your cell start pouring in as early as Saturday evening, on the eve of friendship day! And of course your mobile is wide awake by the time the clock has touched the much awaited midnight mark. You can very well put it on silent and pretend that you are about to get lost in the world of sleep, but at the back of your mind you very well know that by the time you are up in the morning, your cell phone inbox will be overflowing and you will be required to delete messages in order to receive the pending messages. And before you delete those messages, you are socially obliged to reply to each and every message, no matter how close or not close you are to that person, since social etiquettes dictate that you respond in a similar or even better manner. Once you are done replying to all these messages, you begin to quickly delete them, only to receive more such messages and replying to them all over again. Forwarding the same message is also another risk, as you might end up forwarding a message to the originator, or you might miss seeing that the message had another friend’s name at the bottom, and once that is gone, you can only sit and think about what a goof-up it was – of course your friends will immediately understand what you were doing. Not that they don’t forward, that’s what all of us do, but at least they took care of putting in their own name or not putting any.

Once you are past that, if you get the chance of sitting on your comp, there would be another fresh batch of friendship day messages and wishes that you would be required to respond to. And if someone has sent you a card, you should really reciprocate your feelings by sending them another card as well.

As we headed to the mall we realised what a mistake it was. There was no parking and we had to wait in the queue for long. We did get space eventually but that wait was enough hint to let us know what lay in store.

Once in, the place was bursting with groups of giggling girls covered in marker pen messages scrawled all over their bare arms, showing off proudly to anyone who would care to look at them, those girl-women still not out of their teens and hence of the opinion that they are the hottest babes on the planet…ya sure! Its nice to be sweet and girly at that age, but trying to be hot and putting in too much effort to look grown up by wearing spaghetti tops and throwing about that fake and desperate attitude at that age is a little putting-off for me.

The boys seemed to be a little more level-headed, walking along with the girls, looking in other directions while the giggling continued on the other side, checking out stuff on their latest gadgets.

The lifts went out of control, what with so so so many people pressing the buttons simultaneously at so many levels. There were no queues anymore, it was a free for all, whoever can shove in the most gets a place in the lift first. The stores were packed with kids and their gangs looking around for gifts or just spending time together inside a store! The trial rooms were full and most of them had teenagers coming out with clothes they were just trying out for fun, with no intention of buying any. The food courts were filled to the core, with kids having taken over all the tables, loaded with burgers and fries and coke, the fine dine people cursing the invention of another special day. Too much noise and ruckus meant the infants were having a rather bad time of it all, so it was not long before all of them decided to pitch in their collective tiny voices that resulted in a jarring off-key orchestra. Infants crying made mothers hyper. So they began shouting at the fathers and telling them to leave, or to take the baby and soothe them. So many babies crying and women shouting made the toddlers cranky and jumpy, so they too decided it was okay to cry or show your displeasure. This resulted in more mothers getting irritated. And passed on the effect to the fathers too. So then again everyone decided to head for the elevators. Which were obviously too busy doing their rounds, and the queue that had formed had already lost its direction, so that it was again a shove and get in situation.

We did a little shoving, we did get in and we did get out.

Thankfully, tomorrow is a normal day, so I am already heaving a sigh of relief. Before you label me as anti-youngsters, I have nothing against them, in fact I enjoy these very same acts of theirs on other days. But I guess having too many of these giggling groups around me at the same time is a little too unnerving.

It was still friendship day when I started jotting this down, but now that I look at the watch, it is a brand new day…..good morning….

Shutter Island - Watch It If You Havent Yet...

2010-07-22T12:51:00.005+05:30

The mind is a scary place. A place that is dark and enlightened at the same time. A place that plays games, that plots and schemes, that keeps everything safe inside its chambers and yet sometimes has no memory to fall back on. A place that can be innocent as well as keep up a façade, a place that is safe from the outside world, yet can be easily manipulated by another mind of equal or more power.

The movie Shutter Island is an American psychological movie that delves into the darkest chambers of the human mind. Based on the 2003 novel of the same name by author Dennis Lehanne, the movie, directed by Martin Scorsese, premiered at the 60th Berlin International Film Festival as part of the competition screening on February 13th 2010. The movie was co-produced by Columbia Pictures and Paramount Pictures. It was released on 19th February 2010.

Crew and Cast:
Martin Scorsese – Director
Martin Scorsese, Bradley J. Fischer, Mike Medavoy, Arnold W. Messer
Robbie Robertson - Music
Leonardo Di Caprio – U.S. Marshal Edward ‘Teddy’ Daniels
Mark Ruffalo – U.S. Marshal Chuk Aule
Ben Kingsley – Dr. John Cawley
Michelle Williams – Dolores Chanal
Emily Mortimer – Rachel Solando
Max von Sydow – Dr. Jeremiah Naehring
Jackie Earle Haley – George Noyce
Ted Levine – Warden
John Carroll Lynch – Deputy Warden McPherson
Elias Koteas – Andrew Laeddis
Patricia Clarkson – Dr. Rachel Solando

Plot:
The movie, based in the year 1954, begins with a sea-sick U.S. Marshal Edward (Leonardo) and his newly-assigned partner Chuck (Ruffalo) heading towards the Shutter Island in Boston Harbour, which houses the Ashecliff Hospital for Criminally Insane. The two have been assigned to investigate into the disappearance of a patient Rachel Solando, who, it seems, has vanished from a locked room.
As they reach the island, a dark mood takes over the movie. The landscape is all dark and grey, filled with uniformed and armed guards who are searching the place for the vanished patient / prisoner. The ferry on which the two Marshals have arrived is the only source of link between Shutter Island and the world, they are informed, and as a storm is fast approaching, the captain of the ferry wants to leave them on the island and go back as soon as possible.
As the two Marshals step on the island, they realize things are quite serious. The sky is already dark with the looming storm and the sea is rough and black. As they near the hospital, they pass electrified fences of barbed wire and a cemetery with the words – ‘Remember me, for I have lived, loved, laughed.’ The cemetery is filled with black and grey slabs jutting out of the earth, an ominous sky above, a dark life inside the confines of the island. The hospital looms large all of a sudden. It is a massive stone structure, like a castle made only of grey stone, and everything about the place is already dark and gives you the creeps. The movie, though based in the US, is every bit English in its look – the dark grey castle, the grey sky filled with large dark clouds, the grey sea, it seems all the colour has been taken away from the life that exists here.
As the two enter the gates they are asked to hand over their arms to the guard. For all their time on the island, they are informed that they will have to follow all protocol and that they will have to obey orders from the in-charge.
The head psychiatrist, Dr. John Cawley, explains that the escaped patient, Rachel Solando, had been admitted after she drowned her three children. The two join the others during the search for Rachel. During the search Edward sees a lighthouse and upon asking if she could be hiding there, he is told the lighthouse has already been searched. Edward asks to see the files of the hospital staff but is refused. His frustration is further increased when he is informed that the psychiatrist who was handling Rachel’s case has already left for a long-planned vacation. When they want to speak with the doctor, they are told that all lines of communication are down due to the storm.
While talking to his partner Chuck, Edward reveals that he is here on a personal mission too. His wife, Dolores, was killed in a fire that was started by an arsonist named Andrew Laeddis.
In the morning while they are interviewing the patients, one of them scribbles the words RUN on the notepad. Later, Edward reveals to Chuck that Andrew Laeddis was sent to Ashecliff for his crime but had suddenly disappeared. Also, he had once met a former patient named George Noyce, who had told him how Ashcliff was experimenting on patients in barbaric and secret methods. George was a wonderful man, who had been sent for some work to the institute. But when he came back from there he became violent and had to be sent back as a patient. He was cured and was sent back to the outside world. But then again he began showing signs of violence and attacked people and was sent back to Shutter Island again. Edward says that the entire episode was fishy, as George was a perfectly normal person and there was nothing to trigger off something like this in him. He was sure the institute was responsible for George’s strange behaviour. Now Edward is going to reveal to the world about the institute and get it closed.
Some time later Edward is informed that Rachel has been found. They have a meeting, soon after which Edward begins to develop terrible migraines and hypersensitivity to light. The staff and the doctors assist him with medicines and make him rest.
The storm becomes dangerous and parts of the institute begin to flood. As power is off, the patients begin to run out. The whole place is in a mess and Edward takes the opportunity to take a look at Ward C, which he had been earlier informed, houses the most dangerous of the patients. There he finds George Noyce, who is now battered and bruised, and he tells Edward to leave the place and run, that everything is a conspiracy and that his life too may be in danger.
Rest……it is too good to be revealed.

The haunting background score is something that blends so well with the movie’s theme and mood that you wont even realize it was not made for the movie per se. Instead, the director had asked his long-time collaborator to create an ensemble of previously recorded material to be used in the film. The beauty in the music is that though it was made without any particular theme in mind, once used in the film, it gels so perfectly that you feel it part of your own thought process. As you are tense, the music is tense, as you are hopeful, so is it full of hope, as you are sad, the notes are teary, as you are on the edge and have begun to chew your nails, the music will grip you.

Shutter Island has provided the director as well as the lead actor their best box-office opening yet. According to studio estimates, the film opened #1 at the box office with $41 million.

Personal verdict on the movie – AWESOME

Her School And My HomeWork

2010-07-19T23:39:00.002+05:30

Wow, so now that my daughter has begun school, I can see that I have a busy social calendar too. Maybe not exactly the way I had imagined, I had imagined that once she began school I would use those few hours to celebrate my new-found me-time, to go out and have some girly fun, to spend time with my girl friends or any friends for that matter, to draw a warm bubble bath and soak in the water for hours, to go window shopping and not worry about tagging along an unwilling toddler whose real love lay in the play-area…..there were so many plans, which, still remain plans.

On the other hand, there has been a sudden intrusion of a busy schedule already, something that was not planned but has just now begun to hit me. The calendar is packed not only now, but my daughter’s school authorities have been kind and generous enough to keep my calendar booked for the next two months!!!!

I knew school would mean crafts and projects and home work and all that…..but right now? Pleeeezzzzzz……let her at least grow up a bit…and let me enjoy some time to myself first :(

So we started with poems and songs and alphabets and numbers, colours, animals, birds, transport, thankfully these all she knew, I had already done some home work before-hand…..so I was spared some initial work.

Then came the standing lines and the sleeping lines and the slanting lines. Then beginning to write. Then drawing. Then origami!!!!! Huh!!!!!

Then began the crafts and the scratching of the head till late at night, just trying to figure out what to do and how to do……. Oh boy, the pressures of school are already beginning to show on me now!

Then the fancy dress competitions, the rain dance schedules, the colour days where the dress and the shoes and socks, the accessories and even the tiffin needs to be coordinated. Plus she also needs to carry a colour-coordinated toy to school. Hmm..

Then came the environment week, with one day seeing my little one turn into a sunflower, another day seeing her as a concerned tiny citizen, marching with an environment-related placard, one day saw her having fun in a rain dance, while another saw her planting a sapling with her papa and learning to take care of her ‘happy plant’ as she calls it.

Now the new schedule is out. And I have my hands full again.

So now what I am looking at is a pink day, a jeans day, a magi / pasta day(I have managed to keep her off Maggi till now, though she has already begun singing the jingle she sees on TV and asks me about the noogles that these boys and girls on TV are eating) I will surely give her pasta, then there is of course friendship day, where she will be tying satin ribbons to other tots she thinks of as friends (never mind that these little ones are always complaining about he hit me, she hit me), cheese sandwich day, tattoo day (out will come my brushes and paints for making a fake tattoo), peace day (I need to figure out a full white ensemble for her – her wardrobe is already beginning to look like a rainbow and more), bhel day, lollipop day, hat day…..and, to my biggest tension, a RETRO DAY!!!! Now how am I supposed to dress her up in the early 70’s and 80’s fashion in bell bottoms and short kurtis and all!!!! I guess I will have to endure Om Shanti Om for some disastrous fashion ideas now!!!!

This schedule is going to go on till September. So once this is over and I am still alive and capable of writing down all this again, I will update about the latest in my school home work assignments… till then, please keep wishing me luck……

Sonu And The Hairily-Curious Fan

2010-07-17T21:33:00.003+05:30

Recently read an article online about our beloved Sonu Nigam. Now of course his is a name that will generate news even when there is no news. And he himself has expressed his distaste about fans getting too intrusive and people asking too many questions that have nothing to do with his music.

But this article I read takes it to another level.

At one of the episodes of a talent-search singing reality show on television involving kids, Sonu Nigam made a special appearance. After the usual talks, one of the voices in the audience asked him if he waxes his chest !!!! I wish I had seen that person on TV.....I believe that person is truly one of its kind and thankfully so....

The question apparently miffed Sonu so much that he told the fan that he does not wax his chest, that he has very less hair growth there, and that he has lots of that on his legs and would the person want to see that ??!!! Very good Sonu....

Now I wish the article I saw online had ended here by just stating what had happened. But no....this person who wrote the article also seems to be one of its kind....So this person went on to speculate what could be the reasons why Sonu has so much hair on his head, while hardly any on his chest (lot of peeping this person has been doing it seems) and what is the reason of too much hair on his legs?

Well, what can I say...I am one of the biggest fans of Sonu too...But I can simply say this that...I am a fan, not a lunatic...

All the best Sonu to deal with these so-called fans who suffer from such mental diarrhea......

Mean Can Be Good Too ;)

2010-07-17T19:05:00.004+05:30

Good girls go to heaven………..bad girls go everywhere ;)

Well, there has to be a reason for this one, isn’t it?

Okay, so no one ever tells us to be mean, rather good is what we are always supposed to be. But you know what, sometimes being mean can sure be ‘good’ too. Being mean to someone who has been playing the mind-games of late, pissing you off without reason, trying to get their own thing done while pretending to be nice, while all that they are doing is trying to use you and take advantage of you being nice and polite.

There is reason for me to suddenly praise the ‘mean’ streak. Well let me tell you an incident that happened a few days ago.
Lets hear a story.
Once upon a time there was a nice girl. She was always smiling and sweet and polite, never replying back, never raising her voice, respecting elders, listening to people when they loaded her with unwanted advice…..generally, playing the role of Miss Goody Two Shoes to perfection…so much so that some people had even forgotten that she had a mind of her own, a mind, that when provoked too much, could give a fair competition to any mean machine out there.

Now one day she had some guests over who came to live for some time. The history here was that these people had been really nasty to her, treating her with no respect whatsoever, taking her for granted all the time. But since they were family, she had gone along with the image, never once telling them otherwise.

In her little kitchen there stood a fridge, which she had decorated with a few special pictures of her favourite family members. She loved looking at these pictures each time she walked into the kitchen. It made her feel that somehow, these people were always there by her side, just by being there on the fridge

Now when these so-called relatives arrived, from the very next day a strange thing began to happen. Mysteriously, and with a regularity that was actually creepy, each time she came into the kitchen, she saw that somehow, the pictures of her parents and her brother would be on the floor. Only those two pictures each time, and not the ones of these family members who had come to visit (you see, they too had their pictures on the fridge, not so much out of love as out of decorum). And though she understood from the very first moment what was going on, she quietly put back the pictures in its place, without a confrontation, as it would lead to arguing. The pictures had never fallen down ever, only for the time these people were visiting.

For the first two-three days the girl decided it was best to keep putting up the pictures back in their place, maybe they would stop doing their dirty cheap tricks. But when it did not stop, she did just what they were doing.

Now the next time they came into the kitchen, they saw their picture lying on the floor, dirty, with footprints on it. This happened only once and they picked it up and kept it back.

Magically, from then on, there were no more pictures on the floor. The magnets seemed to be working fine from that day on, and the girl never had to pick up another picture off the floor.

Moral of the story: When someone repeatedly takes your goodness as being ‘dumb’ and keeps being mean, just show them what you got. The feeling you will get inside once they get a taste of their own medicine is unmatched.

And for those two of you who read this and know who is being talked of here – if you may, please do something like this again so that I can have the pleasure of being mean all over again ;)

The Food Of The Matter......

2010-07-13T22:49:00.004+05:30

So what is the benefit of living in a condo with people from different parts of the country? Think think......

Still thinking? Think .....

Got it? No?

Okay let me help you out here....

Well, I live with my family on the 23rd floor in a wonderful condo. The couples here are the same age as us and most of them have kids who too are of the same age-group. There is a mix of people from all parts of India here..And guess what makes it so wonderful? The food that is cooked in these homes, what else??? :)

Well, it is a lovely thing that we have going on here. I am a Bengali and my husband is originally a UP-ite, but since we are both born and brought up in Delhi, both the North Indian and Bengali cuisine are dominant in our kitchen. So whenever I make something typical to our tastes, I make sure to share it with my girl friends in the building. So each time I make rajma chawal, spicy mustard fish, aaloo tamaatar, kaali daal, dhaaba dal, tadka daal, mixed dal, dum aaloo and the likes, I send it to my friends.

My friend Namita who lives on the 14th floor is a Punjabi who is married to a Maharashtrian. So each time she makes chholey or the Maharashtrian dish made of some leafy vegetable that is folded and fried (I forget the name each time) she makes sure to send it over. Plus her husband makes this awesome mutton biryani which I almost always get. And she sends these yummy fish delicacies that are so irresistible.

Her neighbour Vidhi is also a very dear friend. She is a Sindhi and also married to one and her best specialty which I almost order her to make is the Sindhi curry. Oh, I cant tell you how I begin to crave for it if I dont keep getting it on and off. She always does the needful and sends over a huge bowl filled to the brim.

My another friend lives on the 10th floor and is half-South-Indian half-Maharashtrian. Jyothi makes this yummy south-Indian fare at home, plus all the chutneys and accompaniments and also something new that I had recently the name to which I forgot. Her father is also gifted with the culinary talent. He specialises in making mouth-watering chiwda and snacks at home and each time she visits her home town she remembers to bring back these home-made delicacies for me by the kilo !!!

Vinaya, my friend on the 11th floor is the best cook of daal-baati. So much so that when she sends over the dish, my husband does not even wait for any rice or roti to accompany it. He just picks a spoon and starts eating off the dish....Its that yummy. And she also keeps sending these delicious rice crispies that are to be fried. And yummy curry and all....

Kavita, my friend on the 22nd floor makes awesome black chholey.....I happened to mention it once when we were talking in a group. She remembered it and next time that she made the dish, she was kind enough to send me the same too.

Though we live in India, its cultural richness is so vast and diverse that many times we end up missing on many of its traditions and specialties. I had never had daal-baati and other Gujarati fare before, same for Maharashtrian cuisine. But now that I am in the company of these lovely friends of mine, my taste buds have surely developed.

We hardly find time to welcome people in our lives and in our homes anymore. So when someone remembers to share a meal with you in these busy times, it sure is special...
I am really lucky to have met such amazing friends in my neighbours.