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Friday, February 12, 2016

Emotional Disability?

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Few days back someone asked me when I last cried.... To be honest, as I tried to answer the question, I was quite stumped. I don't cry. Not really. Not anymore. And never ever in front of anyone. NEVER.


Maybe it's a disability of mine, and the reason I say that is simple. I have nothing against crying. In fact, if I do see someone crying, I make sure that I try and do everything I can to help them get out of their misery and try and soothe out their tears. So why not try it with myself too and let someone take care or take over?

Irony is - that's exactly why. Maybe I still haven't learned to express my deepest fears, angers, hurts and such to people around me, even to those who I once considered closest to me.

I find it hard to express anger or hurt or disappointment. I would rather stay quiet and feel the hurt within, than get angry or cry and let the other person think I am weak. Here again the irony sets in. When I see someone crying, I never assume they are weak. I am in fact kind of jealous that they are so easily able to give expression to what they are feeling. While I am not. And hence my emotional disability status.

I do cry. Without the tears. Without the sound. Without the obvious. I guess everyone cries. It's just that I cry within myself. I know I am an escapist, I have been told that many times. And I know there is no escaping that.

I do wish I could cry..... maybe some day I will..... 

- Debolina Raja 
*************************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja