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Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Are We Too Cool To Speak Our Hearts Anymore?

Life in the modern day is filled with choices. You want to have a simple cup of strong black coffee and there are thousands of variations you have to browse through. You want to go for a relaxed pair of denims and the person at the store will ask you thousands of questions, making sure that each inch of your lower body is analyzed and scrutinized and researched, before you can get yourself in those pants (your own brand new ones that you went there to buy I mean). 

No doubt that we, as a generation that has learned to feed off the social media are suckers for approval. It is true, we all are to some extent, and whether or not you nod your head in agreement or denial, some part of you is still looking for approval – approval when you say that you don’t really care about what others think and hence are cool, or approval that yes you do get affected by what others think about you and hence are cool.

It happens. To you. To me. To all of us.

But that one thing that has really been irking bothering me quite a lot, is the fact that, even as we are so concerned about what others really think of us, somewhere down the line, we are forgetting to express ourselves to those who really matter.

For instance, imagine you are on a date. There can be two outcomes. The first one is that you like the person and really want to meet him/her again. Maybe you feel an instant connect, whether just physical, emotional or, best possible case, both! The other outcome is that you know immediately that you and your date will just not work out, and not even on a one night stand level.

But here’s the catch. How do you actually tell the person what you feel?

If you happen to not like the person, you will go out of your way to find a polite and decent way to cut yourself out of there. You may play the whole charade and even see that person off, or maybe drop your date all the way home. But what after that? You start playing the ignoring game. You don’t want to sound rude or hurtful and still do not take it forward. But you just keep that person hanging out there, instead of saying in a real way that for whatever reasons, you do not feel it will work out and that it is better to stop dating.

Now what if you are in the other situation? What if you like your date? You wonder whether it is alright to hug, and if so, how much of it you should go ahead with without coming off as needy. You want to kiss, but how do you go about it? Do you ask for permission if the other person is not giving you any hints? Do you wait and wait till your date also hints at the same, which may or may not happen. Do you tell your date that you find them cute or sexy and want to kiss? And once you are back home, how much time do you wait before you text or call that person? Should you wait for him or her to make the first move and say what an amazing time you had and that you want to meet up again? Or is it alright to just pick up the phone and say what you feel, right from the heart, without bothering if you will be judged for it?

There’s already so much going on around us all, it’s worthwhile to invest in some love at the least. I don’t know why being in love or falling in love or liking someone has to be such a game. The sad part is that it is. For different people in different situations, loving someone, in whatever relationship it may be, has turned into something with different ways and connotations.

What if we stop judging love once and for all, and just come out with whatever is there in our hearts? What if we learn to respect and love back? You may not love someone who loves you, but you can at least give that person the respect that they deserve, for all they did was love you. Let’s bring back some love, in our hearts and in the lives of those who truly are wonderful out there……

- Debolina Raja

And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja