Yes okay, so you know I have grown up, in years, if not always in mind, and yes, also in body (gosh I keep walking and trying to eat healthy and all that jazz, but sometimes it just doesn't seem enough), and the point of all this is that finally I am at a point in my life where I have learned to bid adieu to the concept of people pleasing.
I have been mostly the polite and nice one all my life. Takes a helllll lot of effort from someone like me who is short tempered, impatient, difficult to please, extremely choosy and all that, but yes, I have managed to still be nice, and I generally am. Till someone gets on my wrong side of course, which is when I can be rude and cold and just not bothered. I have still not managed the art of abusing, and just the other day was talking to this male friend and confessing that I find it hard to abuse, ever, and of course I sounded like a fool to him, the discussion turning hilarious for him and embarrassing for me. And yet again I digress...wait...let me get back to the point again.
The point is, I am done pleasing people, and I have been snipping them off from my life for quite some time now. I have been distancing myself from people in real life, as well as in the virtual world. So it is that I have about 150 friends on my social media profile, a number which sounds surprisingly low to my friends who have friends there upwards of 500 at least (I never understand how so many of my friends more than 1000s of friends there...some achievement!) but the 150 mark is still big for me. In fact, I constantly scan the list and think of moving away from some, and wait for the right time to do so.
You know I am an escapist. If you have been here earlier or read through my posts, you know I generally stay away from confrontations. And of course goodbyes too. Both are equally hard for me, and it goes with the territory of being an emotional fool, which unabashedly I am. But then, I am blessed to have a handful of amazing people in my life, who I know I will have around for life. They are the ones who love me with all my quirks and my silliness and my grey matter, both inside the brain and on top in those few strands, the ones who never judge me, who hold me in their hearts through my highs and my pitiful deep lows, who remain with me no matter what I may tell them through my tears or garbled words of anger or sadness.... They shall truly always remain.
As for the rest, I think I will continue to snip away people from my life. Even as I meet new ones, I find it hard to connect and hold on to those who really do not mean that much. It's a lot of burden to carry when you are just acquaintances, or trying to carry on being nice to someone even though you don't really mean it. There will be many such people I meet in life, but I guess that pair of scissors in my mind will always come in handy.
Life is so much easier and prettier when you surround yourself with happy and positive people and share each others' burdens, instead of trying to be someone who they want you to be, but you may not be. It's a short one and its the only one...this life that we have...so this much we do owe ourselves, don't we? Being happy and being content.....and loving those who are special.....
I send you sooooo many lovely hugs, smiles and truck loads of happiness....
- Debolina Raja
And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ