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Monday, September 21, 2015

You Love You Lose You Give Up And Still You Live

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We all fall in love and we fight for our love and we tell the world that it can leave us be and we have finally found the person we want to be with so all is great and beautiful and perfect. We continue to be happy.

Some of us fall out of love too....and then what?

Maybe we are forced in a corner from where there is no backing out, and once you see your partner in a certain light, you just cannot get back those feelings or that love you once had....what if your partner has always been like this, but you, just as the quintessential fool in love, thought that things would change and he or she would stop doing whatever it is that is being done wrong, maybe you kept closing your eyes to all those lies and rudeness and feelings of inadequacy that were thrown your way and still believed you could make it work?

And what if after all these years you know you cannot, you just cannot fake it anymore? To the world, to your family and friends, and most importantly, to yourself?

And what if you may still like him and wish him or her to be happy and safe, but maybe you do not love your partner in the same way as before, and simply want to come to a decision where both of you remain friends for life, both of you set each other free to go out on your own ways to find your own self and your happiness....

Sounds fair maybe.

But maybe your partner is smart enough to not let you go and maybe your partner is smart enough to have already thought of their own future and made it secure, for themselves at least, and all the while given you the false hope and belief of being your true well-wisher. They tell you that once you really want to leave, you can leave everything else behind and start out from scratch, no matter that you spent the best part of your life caring and looking after a home or family, which helped your partner be where he or she is today, and the same thing comes back to bite you when you realize you don't have anyone to fall back on, nowhere to go, no one to ask for help and you are realize you have given up everything by being a fool in love, by trusting, by placing your everything in the hands of only one person who now has the ultimate power to take it all away and will gladly do so.

Maybe you continue smiling in front of others. Maybe you keep putting up those pictures of a happy family. Maybe you keep living together.

Maybe you can never ask for help because in your heart, you fear you will not get it, or maybe you want to leave, but those beautiful additions that came in your life after you were married, those tiny fingers and those chubby cheeks that you created, are at threat of being turned into pawns, and maybe that is all you want to avoid. That is all that matters to you and maybe your partner knows that all too well.

Maybe the person you thought could be your friend for life, if not your partner for ever after, is not even that, but maybe, just maybe, you will still have to continue living together, for at least as long as those chubby cheeks and those tiny fingers grow up and know that you love them, you truly do, and that you did not walk out even though you were so unhappy each day, just so that your partner would not take them away and tell them what a horrible person you are, when you know you are not.

Maybe no one will ever know, till years and years to come, maybe you will never be able to ask for help, for as long as you live with your thoughts your tears your fears bottled inside you, there is never any hope left.

There is no hope of love anymore, there is no hope of being loved in its true sense or being able to love back or fee loved, and maybe, in a way, it is your end, the end.

It's a sad ending to the start of a sad phase in your life, is it not? Yes it is......

 - Debolina Raja Gupta

And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta