I am vain, I admit. Ever since I can remember, I have been very conscious about my weight, how my body looks in a certain kind of dress, and how I look in a setting. That does not mean I hide behind a layer of makeup or wear the biggest brands and such.
I rarely wear makeup (except eye makeup sometimes), and never wore it when I was younger. I wear clothes mostly picked up at street shops, and the ones that I pick up from stores I never go by the brands.
That however does not mean I am not vain - I am.
And the biggest fear I used to have, and still have a lot - is being called fat.
Being born to Bengali parents, I can say that my body type is not flattering. Though many of my friends have told me that I am lucky to have the assets I have, I consider it a burden and would rather have them less less and lesser. But that doesn't happen and I am left to worry and wallow.
I am endowed with bigger lady assets and lower body assets too. And yes, they contribute to the overall image of being 'big.'
Of course 2 kids later, and the younger one having just turned 1, I have definitely gained some quality kilos over the years. I can't imagine I look like what I looked earlier, and I sure don't expect to be the way I was as a teen. That is not my goal.