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Friday, July 25, 2014

Father's Name Please... Only!


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So recently we were getting a new passport made for our newborn. As we were going through the forms at home, I realized, India doesn’t really recognize a mother. All things said and done, being a mother in India, gives you the status of just another, say, a tree, or a bird flying up there in the sky, or the concrete building in your neighbourhood – hello, getting the drift?

I meant, your status is that okay, you are there, be happy, but don’t come out in the forefront, coz you barely exist.

As we were checking all the paperwork and getting them sorted for the visit to the passport office (which, let me tell you, is now much much better than what it was earlier – getting any kind of paperwork in India is a pain in all the choices of places, as you all know.)

All the spaces were being signed by hubby, as he sat down signing his name and filling it out in capital letters. Poor guy – had to do that for so many papers.

Me? Oh I was the lucky one. Not only am I a dependent on my hubby, I also barely have anything to do in my kids’ passport documents – now that they have popped out of my tummy, the Indian government needs me to simply put my legs up on the couch, rest, and sign a few ‘to-make-me-feel-happy’ kind of spaces, that acknowledge that yes, I still AM.

Wow!

Not only am I a dependent, I am also not the legal guardian of my kids. Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want all power when it comes to my children. But I want at least half of it, together with my partner. Telling me that I have the minimum possible rights to my children does not go down well with me, it does not make me feel happy or wanted or a loving parent.

It makes me feel shitty – that despite doing all that I can for my kids and loving them more than I have ever done anything in the world, this stone age government keeps reminding me that I do exist, but maybe at the end of the line.

So it is that my name hardly matters – whether it is on the passport forms, the school forms, the house forms or the hospital. Now that the baby is out, I might as well get back to my ‘oven without a bun’ phase.
 
- Debolina Raja Gupta

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And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ

Happy Parenting!!!! Be good to your little one, and to the millions of little ones out there who truly need every bit of love and compassion they can get.....Be a grown up...save the little ones.... Debolina Raja Gupta


And like I always believe in and say: "Heal the world we live in Save it for our children" - MJ Debolina Raja Gupta