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Monday, March 11, 2013

Death of A Marriage

Recently I read an article in a daily newspaper about Sonu Nigam's views on marriage, where he said that he never really believes in the institution of marriage, that he feels marriage is one of the biggest reasons of love falling out of your lives, that the happiest couples or people around are not married. According to the article, the singer believes that marriage makes us take relationships for granted, whether we realise it or not, and that is one of the first and biggest mistake that starts the first crack, and gradually the rest crumbles. I do agree.

My marriage isn't dead.


It's walking, it's trying to walk, it's crawling, limping, sometimes up, quite often down, still alive and breathing in gasps and long breaths....but not running and jumping and dancing....It was sometime, but not any more.

But it sure is not in its rosy phase, and I'm quite sure it never will go back there again, to what we had, what I had cherished and thought was magical enough to last. If you ask me, the kind of love glorified in movies and books is just that - a glorified magical myth - it comes to you for a while, and as soon as you think it's forever yours to enjoy, it starts flying out the window, and very soon you realise that most of it is already gone. And before you even know it, marriage ends up lingering like an after-taste of something that was....Sad, but true.

Most couples continue being married despite not having anything in common anymore. And by common I don't mean liking the same movies and books and having the same interests. By common, I mean not having that like for each other, not having much to say to each other, when you reach that phase when you're happiest when there's someone else around with you both, and the only thing you end up doing while together is shouting and calling each other names and telling each other that you would rather have a different life than this, but you can't. Many couples today are definitely like this, some publicly, some privately, behind closed doors, and most continue. There can be many reasons for this, the first is mostly, and sadly, kids. You don't want to put your child through the agony of having to 'choose' a parent and letting go of the other. It's the saddest thing you can do to your child. Then of course there are reasons like finances, social stigma, starting all over again...and many many more.

You continue living on the way you were, just that it's not the same anymore, and only you would know of this sudden death, this sudden illness that's crept into your marriage. 

We live on, we can't move on, and yet, it's quite sad that the love you once had turns to something that's curdled, that's gone bad and sour....Pity......

- Debolina Raja Gupta
And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta