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Monday, December 12, 2011

Your Birth Month And Your Traits - How Accurate Do You Think It Is?


A friend shared something on FaceBook today...yes, like you have rightfully guessed, I'm ALWAYS on FaceBook. In fact so much so that I actually believed (as did many others who know me), that the FaceBook ad that has been doing the rounds on TV channels these days in partnership with a telecom provider, was actually meant for me and people like me (I'm sure you thought that about yourself too!)

Well, not diverting from the topic, as usual I logged in to FB this morning and found this really interesting post on a friend's page. To clarify things first, I'm NOT one of those who believes in sunsigns. I DO NOT read the newspaper forecasts each morning about how my day/week/month is going to look like. But when I read this, I was shocked at HOW ACCURATE this actually was! I personally gave it a 09/10. So just for the fun of it, wanted to share this with you guys and see how true to form this is for you...Read on:

JANUARY:
Pretty/ handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive. Down-to-earth. Stubborn.

FEBRUARY:

Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexiest out of everyone. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest And loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted . Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but does not show it. Dislikes unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Horny. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:

Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Great kisser. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Observant and assesses others.

APRIL:

Suave and compromising. Funny and humorous. Stubborn. Very talkative. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal. Works well with others. Very confident. Sensitive. Positive Attitude. Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Able to cheer everyone up and/or make them laugh. Able to motivate oneself and others. Understanding. Fun to be around. Outgoing. Hyper. Bubbly personality. Secretive. Crazy. Loves sports, music, leisure and traveling. Systematic . Hot but has brains.

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Shy towards opposite sex. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physique. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislikes being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High-spirited.

JUNE:

You've got the best personality and are an absolute pleasure to be around. You love to make new friends and be outgoing. You are a great flirt and more than likely have a very attractive partner. A wicked hottie. It is also more than likely that you have a massive record collection. You have a great choice in films, and may one day become a famous actor/actress yourself - heck, you've got the looks for it!!!

JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood . Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people's feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotionally temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Spazzy at times. Not revengeful . Forgiving but never forgets. dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST:

Outgoing personality. takes risks. feeds on attention. No self-control. Kind hearted. Self-confident. Loud and boisterous . VERY revengeful . Easy to get along with and talk to. Has an "every thing's peachy" attitude. Likes talking and singing. Loves music. Daydreamer. Easily distracted. Hates not being trusted. BIG imagination. Loves to be loved. Hates studying. in need of "that someone". Longs for freedom. Rebellious when withheld or restricted . Lives by "no pain no gain" attitude. Always a suspect. Playful. Mysterious ."charming" or "beautiful" to everyone. stubborn. curious. Independent. Strong willed. A fighter.

SEPTEMBER:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Usually you have many friends. Enjoys making love. Emotional. Stubborn. Hasty. Good memory. Moving, motivates oneself and others. Loves to travel and explore. Sometimes sexy in a way that only their lover can understand.

OCTOBER:

Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.

NOVEMBER:

Trustworthy and loyal. Very passionate and dangerous. Wild at times. Knows how to have fun. Sexy and mysterious. Everyone is drawn towards your inner and outer beauty and independent personality. Playful, but secretive. Very emotional and temperamental sometimes. Meets new people easily and very social in a group. Fearless and independent. Can hold their own. Stands out in a crowd. Essentially very smart. Usually, the greatest men are born in this month. If you ever begin a relationship with someone from this month, hold on to them because they are one of a kind.

DECEMBER:

This straight-up means you are the most good-looking person possible. Better than all of these other months! Loyal and generous. Patriotic. Competitive in everything. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Easy to talk to, though hard to understand. Thinks far with vision, yet complicated to know. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Has that someone always on his/ her mind. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. One guy/girl kind of person. Loveable. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves music. Pretty/ handsome. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Sensitive

*Please note that NONE of the characteristics mentioned above have anything to do with the author of the blog. This is just a copy-paste post....

************************************************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

A Touching Eulogy to Steve Jobs: His Last Words: OH WOW OH WOW OH WOW






The following has been reproduced exactly from the Mumbai Mirror dated 01st November 2011. The author of the blog takes no copyright or responsibility for the material published below:


In a touching eulogy about her late brother at his memorial service on October 16, Mona Simpson told the group of mourners about her life with Steve Jobs. Recounting memories and lessons learnt from her interaction with the pioneer of the personal computer era.
She started the eulogy with her childhood saying “I grew up as an only child, with a single mother. Because we were poor and because I knew my father had emigrated from Syria, I imagined he looked like Omar Sharif.”
“I hoped he would be rich and kind and would come into our lives and help us. Later, after I’d met my father, I tried to believe he’d changed his number and left no forwarding address because he was an idealistic revolutionary, plotting a new world for the Arab people.”
“Even as a feminist, my whole life I’d been waiting for a man to love, who could love me. For decades, I’d thought that man would be my father. When I was 25, I met that man and he was my brother,” she was quoted in New York Times as saying.
At the time she lived in New York, where she was trying to write her first novel.
“I had a job at a small magazine in an office the size of a closet, with three other aspiring writers. When one day a lawyer called me and said his client was my long-lost brother, the young editors went wild.”
“This was 1985 and we worked at a cutting-edge literary magazine, but I’d fallen into the plot of a Dickens novel and really, we all loved those the best. The lawyer refused to tell me my brother’s name and my colleagues started a betting pool.”
“The leading candidate: John Travolta. I secretly hoped for a literary descendant of Henry James – someone more talented than I, someone brilliant without even trying,” Simpson reminisced.
According to the eulogy when Mona Simpson met Steve, she found him to be a guy her age in jeans, Arab-or-Jewish-looking and handsomer than Omar Sharif.
“We took a long walk – something, it happened, that we both liked to do. I don’t remember much of what we said that first day, only that he felt like someone I’d pick to be a friend. He explained that he worked in computers. I didn’t know much about computers. I still worked on a manual Olivetti typewriter,” she said.
She also shared a few things she learned from Steve, during three distinct periods over the 27 years she knew him.
“They’re not periods of years, but of states of being. His full life. His illness. His dying.”
“Novelty was not Steve’s highest value. Beauty was. For an innovator, Steve was remarkably loyal. If he loved a shirt, he’d order 10 or 100 of them. In the Palo Alto house, there are probably enough black cotton turtlenecks for everyone in this church. He didn’t favour trends or gimmicks. He liked people his own age,” she wrote.
His philosophy of aesthetics reminds Simpson of a quote that went like this: “Fashion is what seems beautiful now but looks ugly later; art can be ugly at first but it becomes beautiful later.”
“Steve always aspired to make beautiful later. He was willing to be misunderstood.”
“Steve worked at what he loved. He worked really hard. Every day. That’s incredibly simple, but true. He ws the opposite of absent-minded. He was never embarrassed about working hard, even if the results were failures. If someone as smart as Steve wasn’t ashamed to admit trying, maybe I didn’t have to be,” Simpson recalled.
According to the eulogy, when Jobs got kicked out of Apple, things were painful.
He told his sister about a dinner at which 500 Silicon Valley leaders met the then-sitting president. He hadn’t been invited. He was hurt but he still went to work at Next. Every single day.
She also thought Steve Jobs was like a girl in the amount of time he spent talking about love.
“Love was his supreme virtue, his god of gods. He tracked and worried about the romantic lives of the people working with him,” she said.
She also wrote about the first time Steve Jobs told her about Laurene Powell. “I remember when he phoned the day he met Laurene. “There’s this beautiful woman and she’s really smart and she has this dog and I’m going to marry her.”
According to her eulogy, when Steve’s first child Reed was born, he began gushing and never stopped.
He was apparently a physical dad, with each of his children.
He freted over Lisa’s boyfriends and Erin’s travel and skirt length and Eve’s safety around the horses she adored.
His abiding love for Laurene sustained him. He believed that love happened all the time, everywhere.
In that most important way, he was never ironic, never cynical, never pessimistic.
Steve had been successful at a young age, and he felt that had isolated him. Most of the choices he made from the time she knew him were designed to dissolve the walls around him.
A middle-class boy from Los Altos, he fell in love with a middle-class girl from New Jersey.
It was important to both of them to raise Lisa, Reed, Erin and Eve as grounded, normal children.
Their house didn’t intimidate with art or polish; in fact, for many of the first years she knew Steve and Lo together, dinner was served on the grass, and sometimes consisted of just one vegetable.
Lots of that one vegetable. But one. Broccol. In season. Simply prepared. With just the right, recently snipped, herb.
“Even as a young millionaire, Steve always picked me up at the airport. He’d be standing there in his jeans,” Mona Simpson recounted in New York Times.
When a family member called him at work, his secretary Linetta answered: “Your dad’s in a meeting. Would you like me to interrupt him?”
That is not to say that he didn’t enjoy his success: he enjoyed his success a lot, just minus a few zeroes.
He told me how much he loved going to the Palo Alto bike store and gleefully realizing he could afford to buy the best bike there. And he did.
He had surprises tucked in all his pockets. I’ll venture that Laurene will discover treats – songs he loved, a poem he cut out and put in a drawer – even after 20 years of an exceptionally close marriage.
“With his four children, with his wife, with all of us, Steve had a lot of fun. He treasured happiness.”
When Steve became ill, she watched his life compress into a smaller circle.
Once, he’d loved walking through Paris. He’d discover a small handmade soba shop in Kyoto. He downhill skied gracefully. He cross-country skied clumsily.
But according to Simpson that came to a stop. Eventually, even ordinary pleasures, like a good peach, no longer appealed to him.
“Yet, what amazed me, and what I learned from his illness, was how much was still left after so much had been taken away.”
She also remembers her brother learning to walk again, with a chair. After his liver transplant, once a day he would get up on legs that seemed too thin to bear him, arms pitched to the chair back.
He’d push that chair down the corridor towards the nursing station and then he’d sit down on the chair, rest, turn around and walk back again.
He counted his steps and, each day, pressed a little farther.
“Laurene got down on her knees and looked into his eyes. “You can do this, Steve,” she said.
“His eyes widened. His lips pressed into each other. He tried. He always, always tried, and always with love at the core of that effort. He was an intensely emotional man,” she reminisced in the article in The New York Times.
Simpson realized during that terrifying time that Steve was not enduring the pain for himself.
One time when Steve had contracted a tenacious pneumonia his doctor forbid everything – even ice. We were in a standard ICU unit.
Steve, who generally disliked cutting in line or dropping his own name, confessed that this once, he’d like to be treated a little specially.
She told him: “Steve, this is special treatment.” He leaned over and said: “I want it to be a little more special.”
“Incubated, when he couldn’t talk, he asked for a notepad. He sketched devices to hold an iPad in a shopital bed. And everytime his wife walked into the room, I watched his smile remake itself on his face.”
“For the really big, big things, you have to trust me, he wrote on his sketchpad. He looked up. You have to. By that, he meant that we should disobey the doctors and give him a piece of ice,” she wrote.
None of us knows for certain how long we’ll be here.
On Steve’s better days, even in the last year, he embarked upon projects and elicited promises from his friends at Apple to finish them.
We all – in the end – die in medias res. In the middle of a story. Of many stories.
“I suppose it’s not quite accurate to call the death of someone who lived with cancer for years unexpected , but Steve’s death was unexpected for us.”
“What I learned from my brother’s death was that character is essential: What he was, was how he died.”
“Tuesday morning, he called me to ask me to hurry up to Palo Alto. His tone was affectionate, dear, loving, but like someone whose luggage was already strapped to the vehicle, who was already on the beginning of his journey, even as he was sorry, truly deeply sorry, to be leaving us,” she recounted in the New York Times.
He started his farewell and I stopped him. I said, “Wait. I’m coming. I’m in a taxi to the airport. I’ll be there.”
‘I’m telling you now because I’m afraid you won’t make it on time, honey.”
When she arrived, he and his Laurene were joking together like partners who’d lived and worked together every day of their lives. He looked into his children’s eyes as if he couldn’t unlock his gaze.
Until about 2 in the afternoon, his wife could rouse him, to talk to his friends from Apple.
Then, after awhile, it was clear that he would no longer wake.
His breathing changed. It became severe, deliberate, purposeful. She felt him counting his steps, pushing father than before.
“This is what I learned: he was working at this too. Death didn’t happen to Steve, he achieved it.”
“He told me, when he was saying goodbye and telling me he was sorry, so sorry we wouldn’t be able to be old together as we’d always planned, that he was going to a better place.”
The doctor had given him a 50/50 chance of making it through the night.
He made it through the night, Laurene next to him on the bed sometimes jerked up when there was a londer pause between his breaths. Then he would heave a deep breath and begin again.
This had to be done: Even now, he had a stern, still handsome profile, the profile of an absolutist, a romantic. His breath indicated an arduous journey, some steep path, altitude.
He seemed to be climbing.
But with that will, that work ethic, that strength, there was also sweet Steve’s capacity for wonderment, the artist’s belief in the ideal, the still more beautiful later.
Steve’s final words, hours earlier, were monosyllables, repeated three times.
“Before embarking, he’d looked at his sister Patty, then for a long time at his children, then at his life’s partner, Laurene, and then over their shoulders past them.”
Steve’s final words were:
“OH WOW. OH WOW. OH WOW.”

**********************************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

The World Is Hungry: By Pritish Nandy (As Seen In Bombay Times)




Came across a very interesting article today, something very very close to my heart and something that me and my partner also do on a regular basis (though not on such large scale), along with some more people in other places. I don't know about many of you who would regularly be doing this, or would even agree to what is being said here, but if you ARE one of those who can relate to this article, do drop in a comment, would be lovely to know you .....

As seen in the Bombay Times edition of 19th October 2011, Wednesday. Article by Pritish Nandy.


It began one morning years ago. Rina put a bowl of water outside the window for the noisy pigeons that wake us up at the crack of dawn. Soon we had so many birds queued up on our window ledge that the bowls increased. Then Rangita put out some in her bedroom too. Birds of all kinds began to crowd our windows on the 24th floor. So Rina put out some grains. It disappeared quicker than we could put it out. So we put out more. But even that left us feeling guilty; many hungry birds still hung around, waiting. Now we feed them whenever we can.

Feeding the strays on the street came next. It started with Shabby, a beautiful white terrier abandoned by her owners when they left India. She greyed over the years with age and dirt. Living on the street isn't easy, particularly for a home bred pet, but Shabby was brave and we first noticed her because she chased every car that drove by, in the hope her owners would return one day, to take her home. No one came but over the years the strays on the street accepted her as one of their own. We started sharing our dinner with Shabby at night and then found it impossible to ignore her friends. So along with Shabby, came Sadhu, Moti, Puchku, Raja, Dushtu and a few stray cats. One day, the watchmen protecting a patch of land near the income tax colony met Rina and Ishita and requested them to feed four pups that a stray had delivered on the patch. So they also joined our family dinner. Three of the pups died soon after, from snakebite. Only Bhujan survived. Plus we discovered Patch and three legged Langdu from Pedder Road. And there's Pippa, the pretty snail we found in Moti's water pot who came home and settled next to a basil plant.

On her last birthday, the kids gifted Rina snaps of our entire family. These included all of them and the three current ones: Snarling, surly Rani, 11, who I found outside my MP bungalow in Delhi, her head bashed in, brains hanging out; gentle Mowgli, 4, who Rangita brought home half-blind from a film shoot in Ooty, where she was living in the trees among monkeys; and tempestuous Mojo, barely 1, a Lab with hip displasia gifted to us by our neighbours. An entire wall in our living room is dedicated to them and the others who have passed on. Magic, a rescued pom from Crawford Market; Mogambo, an abandoned boxer; Mambo No 5, another stunning boxer, born in Rashtrapati Bhavan; Mystic, rescued from under a car; and Mischief the tomcat who challenged all of them and ruled our home.

When our colleague Bobbie died, Candy and Sydney came home. But we were overbooked and had to give them away to Melissa who runs a shelter in Lonavla. Melissa left her Bandra home and settled in Lonavla, just to look after her many dogs. Even I had 42 rescued dogs once, in an ashram I built in Murbad. It was run by an old Englishman who I also found abandoned near Kemps Corner, begging for his living. But the locals in Murbad made his life miserable and one day he vanished. So now I have given the land to PAWS and Nilesh Bhanage runs his shelter there.

Wherever I look today, I find animal NGOs doing amazing work. Yet there's hunger everywhere. Stray cattle, dogs and cats roam the streets, scrummaging for leftovers. Hungry horses collapse, unable to pull their tongas any more. Monkeys trudge all day long, tied to a rope, begging for alms. Sick, emaciated bullocks pull overburdened carts. Once majestic camels lie sick and dying in Juhu beach. Elephants beg for food outside our temples. It's a sad, pitiful sight. Go to any circus pitched in the city in winter and see those once proud beasts cowering in captivity, just skin and bones, their eyes full of hunger, pain and helplessness. So, next time you throw away food or waste it, think of all those hungry strays all over this city. It's the cheapest thing to give away. Do it. Do it whenever you can.'

Mr. Pritish Nandy, thank you so much for sharing all this. I will forever see you in a different light from now on....

****************************************************
And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Out Of Your Cupboard And Straight To Their Hearts


A few days back one of my friends told me she had been cleaning up her house for Diwali and there was so much 'kachda' (rubbish) coming out of her cupboard that she didn't know what to do with it. I asked her if she was talking about old clothes by any chance.
"Of course...you know, there were sooo many clothes there, clothes I didn't even wear in the last 5-6 years. I had them all this while to motivate myself to get back in shape and wear them someday. But you know how I love to shop. There's no more space in my cupboards to keep the new ones. So I guess Im just gonna throw these old ones away."

I occasionally collect such 'old' things and give them to orphanages or street kids. So I asked her if I could take these away.
"Oh wow, of course. Thanks dear. Now I will feel I have done something good on Diwali, that I have done my part." And she proceeded to put the pile of old clothes in a bag. "Oh, by the way, I have yesterday's leftover food. Actually my husband didn't like the taste..too salty for him, we got a new cook so I'm still training her. Why don't you take the food and give it away too?" She was smiling, thinking about the extra brownie points she would get for her goodness-meter on Diwali.
"No, I think I will let it pass. I'd rather cook something fresh at home and give them." I think she heard the distaste in my voice.
"No, I mean it is a little extra salty, but they are used to all this na (by they she meant the street kids)..And a little extra salty food is better than no food, no?"
Seriously????!!! "No. Thanks for the clothes."

I don't understand this mentality though. And I am glad I don't. what does it take to share a little of what you already have? A little meal prepared at home. Or maybe something to eat you buy from outside and give them. That doesn't mean you can hand down your garbage to 'them', just because they live on the streets. Just because they don't have any better options in life.

Your old clothes, old toys, books, blankets, things that were once used by you but now you use them no more. What's to think what to do with them? There is always an orphanage or a shelter near where you stay. Why can't you simply go there and give it? Or if you find that too difficult to trace, why can't you simply go out there and hand it to the many kids out there on the streets? Ever seen the joy on a little kids' face as he gets a new toy? So what if its already been used for years by your own child? In that little kid's life, it will forever be special...

And the worst are those who keep asking me if they can give me their leftover food for the 'Feed A Kid Every Saturday' thing that I do, and that many have already supported on FB and otherwise. To them, I would just like to say one thing: Would you let your child eat something like that? Something that is stale, too spicy, too salty, or just plain unhealthy? Something that can make a little child fall sick? As it is these little ones on the streets have a lot to deal with. Your making them fall ill is the last thing they need. So please spare them. And PLEASE don't even think of scoring on your so-called goodness-factor by dumping your garbage on someone else.

If you can share some love, go out and do it. Else stay at home.

**********************************************************************

And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Monday, October 3, 2011

Im Taking Away Your Name, Even Though You're Not Mine


Many Indian women are celebrating today....reason?

The judgement:
'The wife has a fundamental right under Article 21 of the Constitution of India (right to life) to use any name including her married name notwithstanding the fact that her marriage has been dissolved.'

The legal position thus clarified, the passport office finally reversed its earlier stand and issued a divorced Pune woman a renewed passport in her former married surname this week.

While this may come as a cause of celebration for many women, I somehow fail to see the logic and the 'fair play' in this...You've had your differences with a man you someday had loved, lived together with and shared your life with, but something happened down the line and you decided its best to move on. So what's the point of holding on to a name that you decided to give up already?

At the time of marriage, if you ask the bride what she is feeling most, chances are she will tell you she is going through an identity crisis - giving up the name she was born with, the name that gave her her identity, the name she was - and suddenly, she has a new name, a new identity, she is a new being altogether.

The name that tells the world you're a couple, that you're together, the name that you chose to share as man and wife. And when you decide to give up that part of your life, why is it that you would still want to hold on to that identity? Some women have pointed out that there's way too much paper work involved. But come on, just because there's a lot of government office running around to do and a lot of paperwork to fill, does it mean you keep that name as your identity, the owner of which was too difficult for you to keep in your life?

Maybe you would say Im being totally wrong here, but really, I can't get the logic of this, and if you do, kindly enlighten me more....

And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Friday, September 30, 2011

India's Police Turns Moral Judge: Youngsters harassed by police for 'indecent' dancing in clubs !!


So many things going on in the country and what do I see in the paper today?

In an effort to check the supposed 'indecent' behaviour in the city's pubs and discs, the police has now decided that in case there is still such 'indecent' behaviour going on within these walls, the bouncers of the place will be held responsible and will be charged and arrested !!!!

A few weeks ago police in Mumbai raided a lounge in Malad and took in 31 youngsters on the charge that they were dancing 'indecently' on a Saturday night inside the club!! The police fined them Rs.1200 each for 'indecent' behaviour under the Bombay Police Act before releasing them early morning. The police have justified their actions on 'moral grounds.'

This in a country that calls itself the largest democracy in the world, a country where you are an adult the day you turn '18' and are mature enough to elect your own government, get married and have kids. But one drink and one intimate dance inside the four walls of a throbbing disc and you are charged with being 'indecent.'

I was shocked to see the report in the papers and at the callous attitude of the police. We have all been in clubs and discs, dancing away the night, doing rounds of drinks with friends, getting drunk, behaving exactly the way youngsters should, letting your hair down and having a good time without causing any harm to anyone around or anywhere. After a week of hard work and stress its only natural that you look forward to a chilled-out weekend....and what's wrong if your stress buster is a night of loud music and dancing?

The police have constantly rounded up young couples in the city who have no space to snatch a few private and intimate moments together. What can really be a genuine and beautiful emotion is turned into something dirty and to be ashamed of. Youngsters are constantly harassed by the police in our country on grounds of 'morality'. And if we shake a leg within a dedicated place that is MEANT FOR DANCING, we are again called indecent !!!!

What a shame...when the country is faced with such critical issues of poverty, begging, child and woman abuse, lack of safety of our senior citizens, crime, theft, rapes, animal woes, unemployment, lack of proper education....all our police is doing is rounding up and harassing youngsters who are just out to have a good time on their own...



And like I always believe in and say: "Heal the world we live in Save it for our children" - MJ Debolina Raja Gupta

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The Gym Mix


Of late the fitness bug has bitten me again and Im back to my previous workout routine. A ligament tear in the knee and a general lazy attitude (I was born with it!) were the culprits to see me out of the gym for a long stretch. But now that I am back in action, it was obvious that I would be updating my tracks, as in the music ones, to keep pace with the steps on the treadmill and all.

I can't do without my phone while Im working out. I have to have to have to have my playlist blasting non-stop in my ear. And what better way than to have some non-stop sexy remixes playing out loud in your ear while you're working out?

Hubby recently told me about this site where you can actually go and create your very own playlist suited to the kind of workout you're gonna do. Im sorry I forgot the name of the site, but I remember it had something to with 'jog', so this is another site where you can visit and create your very own playlist to groove to while you're sweating it out ;)

To visit the site, click here

Now, they have a real cool way of letting you decide what music will work best for you.

First, listen to their sample tune and understand your pace, as in beats per minute.

Next, you have the choice of either buying and downloading the tunes through their sites, or simply choosing the different artists and genres and selecting your favs.

The final step lets you browse through their existing playlist based on your preferences, or create a fresh new playlist just for you. The best part is, it lets you arrange your tunes by BPM (Beats Per Minute) in a warm-up, workout, cool-down sequence, so it takes care of the entire stretch of your workout.

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome: Cant sleep at night !!!!!


I cant remember the last time I slept like a baby at night. I cant remember the last time I did not toss and turn in my sleep all night and woke up feeling tired and drowsy. I cant remember the last time when I had a really fresh day, one where I didn't feel sleepy even once......

Its been years and years now that I have had to hear from people close to me how lazy I am that I don't get up 'early' by instinct, that I am not perfect since I'm a late sleeper and a later riser. That there's something wrong with me because I don't follow the 'natural' pattern of 'early to bed early to rise.' Not that I never tried, its just that my body clock has never adjusted to this routine, and no matter how much I try, I can never fall asleep before at least 2:30-03:00am. and many times I am happily awake till even 5.30, when I finally begin to feel drowsy.Through the week I sustain on a maximum of 4, or if I'm lucky, then 5 hours of sleep a day. And on weekends, I try and recover as much of it as I can, though its not much really. I mean, how much can you sleep on a weekend anyway? I get irritated, sad, depressed, angry and upset that all my efforts to get into a 'proper' routine don't work, and hurt at the constant complaints about my schedule. Finally, my body gives up once in a month or so, and I simply am unable to get up from the bed, and have to sleep it off no matter what. This is also accompanied by body ache and fever, one that comes and goes for a few days, and finally, I feel a little refreshed, again to go back to that 4-5 hours of sleep forever....

So it was sort of an eye-opener when I read an article in the Mumbai Mirror today. I learnt that I was not the only one who was going through this tremendously strenuous routine. And I learnt that this 'lazy' and 'imperfect' lifestyle that I've been accused of having all my life is actually a medical condition which has finally been given a name. I am copying out the entire article here for your benefit. This is from the Mumbai Mirror edition of September 21 2011.

The article:

The world is divided into morning people and night people. For the latter, nothing makes sense until noon. They may be awake but they can't be roused, not even with the harsh tags of 'night owl', 'sleepyhead' or 'downright lazy'.

But at least for some, the inability to get into bed before 3 am or 4 am and out of it until the sun is high overhead could well be a disorder. A person suffering from Delayed Sleep Phase Syndrome (DSPS) finds it very challenging to fit into the mainstream sleep schedule of the world. Sleep medicine specialist Dr. Preeti Devnani, from Sleep Disorders Clinic, Khar, says DSPS is not easy to diagnose and is often confused with insomnia but is actually quite different.

Day Or Night

The internal body clock of a person with DSPS is typically out of whack with the sun. In other words, it is a disruption of their circadian rhythm. They can't follow the typical sleep-at-night, rise-in-the-morning routine that the rest of humanity follows.
They sleep late, often in the pre-dawn hours, and wake in the late morning or in the afternoon. And because they have to fall in line in order to get to work and be productive members of the economy, they often end up building up a huge 'sleep debt'. They may have difficulty thinking clearly and functioning optimally. This could, over time, lead to to clinical depression or other stress-related problems. However, if such people are allowed to follow their instincts, they wake up refreshed.
The problem is, DSPS patients find it very difficult to shift their routine, unlike 'owls' and 'larks'. Which is why you may find them working night shifts or in industries that allow them to start the day late. Joining Batman is probably one alternative.
Forced to work 9 to 5, these people may get only a few hours every night and then 'catch up' on the weekends, when they are not likely to opt for a morning trek. Some say this is like living with a jetlag.
The life of DSPS patients becomes a constant struggle. "It can lead to mood swings and depression. Sometimes, people end up self-medicating with alcohol," Dr Devnani says.

What Causes It?

For may, the night owl pattern is evident from childhood. They are unable to adjust to school hours. For others, the disorder develops during adolescence, sometimes because of late study hours. Research is relatively new in the area and some suggest this problem may be genetic. Studies show that the eye has a receptor that is sensitive to light. It is possible that some blind people maintain a regular schedule because they have this receptor. Similarly, some normally sighted people are deficient in this third kind of receptor and so do not entrain their schedules well to daylight. Also, body temperature varies on a daily cycle, rising during the day, peaking in the evening, and falling at night. For most people with DSPS, this temperature pattern shifts.

Treatments

While some specialists suggest there is no real cure for DSPS, Dr Devnani says the situation is not entirely hopeless. The condition can be managed with treatment.
The first step, of course, is to follow good sleep hygiene. Some of the other treatments include bright light therapy, which entails going out in the sunlight early in the morning or sitting in front of a bright light designed for this purpose. People suffering this disorder are also prescribed melatonin, the chemical that regulates the circadian rhythm. In chronotherapy, a person is asked to shift sleep time later instead of earlier. Typically, sleep time is shifted three hours later each day, all the way around the clock, until the desired schedule is reached.

CaseStudy:

Kalpesh Shah, 31, Mumbai:
I guess the price of living in this city is that you have trouble with sleep. No matter how early I got up, I couldn't sleep until 2.30 am or 3 am. I am a builder and need to get to work by 9am. As a result, I was running low on rest.
I suffered from anxiety, lethargy throughout the day as well as severe acidity. Even while I was asleep, my mind remained active and I kept tossing and turning. I thought it was insomnia. I looked it up online and decided I could do with some help.
The doctor at the Sleep Disorders Clinic asked me to maintain a sleep log. She also asked me to use a device for an actigraphy study, which monitors rest and wakefulness, and monitored the light in my room.
Dr Devnani told me I had DSPS. I didn't even know such a disorder existed. She gave me a lot of reading material.
While I was growing up, I would watch television late into the night. I used to work late and eat late. So my lifestyle was the culprit. I had to make major changes in my routine to get enough sleep at the right time.
I am not allowed tea after 4pm and don't smoke in the evenings. I have to finish dinner two hours before bedtime. I shower just before sleeping and have warm milk. I avoid light in the evening. My bedroom is for sleep only, no laptop or cellphone is allowed inside it. I have also started practising Yoga. I am now able to sleep earlier and feel fresh.'

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Monday, September 19, 2011

Our Senior Citizens....We Can Help


For the past few weeks, every time I have opened the newspaper, the face of one or the other senior citizen has looked at me from the pages, another story of a victim of that sad phase of life that we call ‘old age.’ For the past few weeks, the same story has been playing around everywhere – senior citizen killed. And suddenly today, the Mumbai police seem to have woken up from its stupor and realized that yes, something is terribly wrong in the state, and that now, finally after so many victims being reported, something has to be done to keep them safe.

The police had indeed launched a helpline for the senior citizen. But what a shame when officials themselves admit that the help that was promised through the ‘help’line was not delivered. Reason? Not known….

None of us is away from such a scenario ourselves. If you look around you, chances are you will come across such senior citizens who are alone and left to take care of themselves. And isn’t it a sad life when your entire life you have devoted to your family and kids, but now that your kids are settled and living their own lives, all you are left with is loneliness and the years that are catching up fast. Only a few days back one of my friends was telling me that he is not interested in the concept of marriage, but the only reason he will eventually get married sometime is so that he has kids and partner in his old age who will take care of him…that, according to me, is such a wrong notion.

Case in point:
I know of a senior citizen couple in my building. Both the husband and wife are well above seventies. But looking at their zest for life, you would hardly realize the same. Both are immensely active, and believe in doing something for the society. Their kids are grown up and settled abroad. And now, the two are left to themselves.
Be it a daily chore like going to the market, or more rigorous work like maintenance of the house, driving out to get your work done, or even the regular checkups at the doctor, this couple is very much capable of handling everything themselves. But still, it does not mean that they would not love to have the support they should be having at this age and phase in life.
The auntie I am talking about is fit as a fiddle. Though she may be way ahead of us in age, her spirit and zest for life is much more active than many youngsters of today. Not only is she a champion social activist – she started teaching slum kids on a regular basis under a tree – she is also a yoga teacher and teaches people much younger her age.
The uncle too is very much independent. He likes to do things his own way and is always on his toes, participating in events and doing his work on his own.

So I was of course quite worried when I realized one fine day that uncle was finally really ill. Of course age catches up with us all sometime or the other, and this is only inevitable. But isn’t this the time when someone from the family should at least be present to help during the difficult times?

In today’s world, where time zones and geographies do so much to create distances, maybe it’s the neighbours who can at least take care of each other. Almost all of us have given up living in ‘houses’ now, the apartment concept is all-pervasive, at least in the metros and other bigger towns and cities. So with so many people around, is it okay if such elderly couples are still alone and helpless? If we can spare some time and effort in talking to them and giving them the assurance that no matter what, just a call and we will be there by their side, maybe they would have the trust to let us know next time they really need some help. Of course it takes time to trust someone completely, and they may not like your intervention in the first place. But let them know that you would love to accompany them to the doctor, or maybe run their grocery list when you go grocery shopping for yourself. These are little things that we can all take care of. Small gestures that will hardly cost you a penny or take away much of your time, but these will be those very same gestures that will mean a lot to a person who should ideally be sitting back and enjoying life right now.

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Whats Your Limit ??

Just recently I was having a chat with a friend and we ended up talking about the age we got introduced to our first drink. Well, now let me tell you first of all that this friend is a total 'beer-obsessed' dude, and his love for beer is evident all across the social networking sites. So I was a little surprised to know he has 'other' obsessions too ;) of the liquid kind that is... I was not comparing, but was rather surprised when he told me had got to drinks already by the time he was 13 or so....what???!!!!!! 13 ??? And I thought kids that age were really still babies....Compared to that I would look like an old hag...my first drink wasn't before I was 21....but thats ok....I more than made up for it later I guess.... Of late I have quit....well, not really 'quit' quit, though that WAS the plan, but yes, I have 'kind of' quit. So earlier if my fun would take me from shots to glass to bottles straight, now its limited to that one or two occasional peg...and its with much a heavy heart that I realised that that was actually my 'capacity'. Two down and I am as good as happy. And top it with a session on the dance floor and no bottles or shots can match my high. My friends though have a different story to tell. Some of them will go on and on and nothing ever happens, they are as good as fresh. Some of them will drink through the night and welcome the dawn, but still nothing will show - no signs of being drunk, not even happy, and forget about any slurry speech...... hmmm.... wonder how people manage that !!!! And the worst part......my two drinks are enough to give me a headache the next morning, while these 'drunks' actually wake up fresh !!!! Not a fair world this.... ****************************************************************************************************** And like I always believe in and say: "Heal the world we live in Save it for our children" - MJ Debolina Raja Gupta

Monday, September 5, 2011

Vellapanti...what? is that a word? no....just a way of life Im enjoying rite now ;)

I know I know...its been ages and ages and ages I've been away from here. And that is so not allowed of a blogger, isn't it? When you don't show the due love and care to your blog and your friends who drop by, checking out what you write, thinking or talking about it, sharing their views, criticizing you, agreeing with you, and generally, making you feel good that someone somewhere is actually interested in what you're writing..... Well, I did miss coming back to my blog and interacting with you all for such a long time. But well, I was having a kind of a 'break' time. No, not like a post-breakup thingy, or anything remotely close. I meant, a break from schedules, a break from things that I generally do, a break from things that are so much a part of my life. I will confess I was pretty regular on my book blog though, but that too was very slow as compared to how much I read and write and review. If you live in any part of India, especially North India, you will be aware of the term Im gonna use now - vella....Well, you know what I mean....'vella' would actually mean a state of mind and being where you have nothing to do, where you are really 'useless', and that is what I wanted to be for some time now. No work and utterly useless. Of course there were certain things I still had to be doing.....like being with my daughter for example. But other than that, Iv been pretty 'useless' of late....and I must say I'm loving it. And this 'useless' phase was actually so useful. I ended up doing so many things I generally don't do, or didn't get time to do. I went on a long drive on a Harley Davidson bike to a fog-enveloped hilltop. That was a first and one-of-its-kind experience. I enjoyed the monsoon to the hilt this time, getting drenched at every opportunity, keeping the windows of my car down and soaking in the lovely wet air. I participated in and organised rallies in support of Anna Hazare and in support of the fight against corruption. I campaigned for India Against Corruption. I made many new friends. I deleted most of the 'friends' from my FB page (finally!!!), I celebrated my daughter's birthday at a nearby orphanage. I organised a donation drive for orphans. Im contemplating of getting back to some more studying (though I doubt it will actually happen). I made many new book-friends from all over the world. I got recognition as an international book reviewer. I made friends with authors, people from the publishing industry and media and teamed up to read and talk about their books. I managed to lose some extra kilos that I wanted knocked off and am back to the way I wanted to be (though I am still trying to reduce more...which girl doesn't?). So you see, I've been doing pretty much a lot lately. But yes, I will call all this as a state of being a 'vella', a useless good-for-nothing who does not want to go by the watch, who does not believe in set patterns, who does not want to take the road that has been taken by countless others before and has already been set for me....I want to remain a 'vella' for longer. I want to be out of rules and schedues and inhibitions ... I want to still live free.....And I want to live like this as long as I can be..... **************************************************************************************************** And like I always believe in and say: "Heal the world we live in Save it for our children" - MJ Debolina Raja Gupta

Monday, July 4, 2011

Neeraj Grover Case: Indian Judiciary Vs. Public Outcry

If you also feel that Neeraj Grover has been denied justice, join here and show your support. Neeraj Grover Justice Denied.

The Court’s Verdict:
The Indian Judicial System has given its verdict on the 01st of July 2011, 03 years after the brutal death, and Maria Susairaj has been set free. A Mumbai court sentenced Maria Susairaj to 03-years and her boyfriend Emily Jerome Matthew to 10 years in prison, but since Maria has already been in prison for three years, she has now been allowed to walk out free.

Maria has been set free by a Mumbai court and asked to pay Rs. 50,000 as compensation to Neeraj Grover's parents

Emily Jerome Matthew has been sentenced to 10 years in prison

Jerome and Maria in prison earlier


The People’s Verdict and Protests:

As news channels reported the verdict, there was widespread anger and disappointment among people everywhere who had been following the Neeraj Grover murder case for these last 03 years. And of course there is bound to be wide-spread criticism with this judgement, as it is justice denied to a young man who was killed in cold blood. As per a Mumbai court, Maria was only sentenced for destroying evidence, while Jerome was convicted under the less harsh 304 (1) section of Culpable Homicide not amounting to murder.

Neeraj Grover's parents break down on hearing the verdict. "If this is not murder, then where is my son?"


How can a woman who kills a young man be let off so easily? How can a person, who brutally kills and then chops up the body before burning it, be sentenced to only 10 years? What are the sentences for life imprisonment and execution reserved for then? Can there be any crime more heinous or more brutal than what Jerome has committed?

Earlier, Maria had confessed her role in the entire murder. Now, as soon she knew that Jerome was equally responsible in this, she shifted the onus of the blame on her boyfriend, conveniently changing her confessions and telling police that it was he who had done the murder, and then proceeded to rape her. Police did not find any signs of injury on her body, nor were there any marks of resistance on Jerome’s body. If it was rape, wouldn’t there be at least some form of resistance on Maria’s part? A girl who is in a committed relationship has sex with a single young man just to land herself a role, while she misleads the young man to believe that they are ‘together’, and all the while, the boyfriend in the long-distance relationship hears another male in his girl-friend’s bedroom at 2 in the night, and upon asking her to ask this man to leave, she promptly disconnects the call. And when he lands at her place before dawn, he finds them in the bedroom in a semi-naked state….doesn’t the girl have any part in the murder then? She has sex with this young man barely a couple of hours before he is killed in her own bedroom, then she has sex with her boyfriend in this very same bedroom, in front of the body of the young man with whom she had sex a while ago and then killed. Even if she says she did not kill him, she admits to picking up the chopped pieces of his body and dumping them in the bags one by one. And still the Indian Justice System feels that 03 years is punishment enough for this monster.

During the initial confessions, Jerome was simply made to look like an accomplice. Later, when Maria found her chance of dumping the ‘body’ weight on a different shoulder, she quickly chose Jerome as the scapegoat and decided she would let Jerome rot while she herself would come out clean. A man who kills a young man and then chops his body, then has sex in front of the body, before proceeding to fill up the body parts in the body and driving to find a perfect spot to burn it, is 10 years enough punishment for such a crime? Incidentally, Jerome has never given a confession, while Maria had confessed to killing Neeraj in the initial stages of the arrest.

Protests:
Friends and supporters of Neeraj Grover were detained and released by the Mumbai police earlier on Sunday for protesting without permission. They were marching from Malad to Juhu when the police intercepted and detained them. The protesters were however released from custody after a few hours. They then proceeded on a two hour long march. The protest ended with a candlelight prayer and the hope that their voices will be heard.




In the meanwhile, The Maharashtra Navnirman Sena (MNS) has said it will hold a protest if Maria Susairaj enters the entertainment industry. MNS said that it would do its best to stop any efforts made by media houses or film directors to cast Susairaj, and for one of the very rare times, I am in complete agreement with the MNS threats and really wish they carry out what they have threatened.


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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Neeraj Grover, Maria Susairaj, Emily Jerome Matthew - The Case

On a morning in May 2008, as I was sipping my morning tea with the day’s fresh news, an image of a man looked at me from between the pages. It didn’t take much to realise that this man was quite good-looking and in the prime of his youth, and his smile, that was just about to begin at the moment the picture had been clicked, was quite captivating, the smile of a young man who was happy with his life. It was then that I realised what the news was all about – about how a woman aspiring to be an actress had brutally murdered this young man, since he did not give her a break in the hindi TV industry.


On May 21, 2008, 27-year-old Maria Susairaj, a struggling wannabe Kannada actrees, along with her 25-year-old boyfriend Emily Jerome Matthew, made breaking news for 25-year-old Neeraj Grover’s brutal murder and subsequent attempt at destroying the evidence by burning the many pieces of his body. The starlet who was desperately trying to get a break in TV serials, and her boyfriend who was a bright Indian Navy officer, put an end to a young life, bringing an end to their own futures. Even as the nation was trying to believe this shocking news of how a couple could butcher a live young man for reasons so flimsy, police made the arrests and confessions and blames soon followed.



The case:
Investigations began after Neeraj Grover’s father approached the Malad police to file a missing complaint on May 07 2008. According to the police, Maria Susairaj had come to Mumbai in October 2007 and did an acting course (which she is now putting to good use in her press conferences). She then went to Bangalore, acted in 04 Kannada films, then came back to Mumbai to look for a big break. It was then that she met Neeraj Grover, who had, a few weeks ago joined as a top executive at Synergy Adlabs and was earlier working as creative head at Balaji Telefilms.
As police arrested Maria with ample evidence, she led them to an isolated spot on the outskirts of the city, a fortnight after Neeraj’s father had filed the missing complaint. The police recovered what remained of Neeraj Grover’s body – his body had been chopped into several small pieces with a kitchen knife and stashed in three duffel bags that were later burnt by the couple to destroy evidence. The police claim the couple had sex after Neeraj was killed, but this statement was later turned by Maria to ‘Emily raped me’. How convenient! And thus began her game of shifting the entire blame on her then boyfriend (I am assuming they are no longer a couple after what happened…but who knows..maybe Ram Gopal Verma will know)
According to the police, Maria started getting intimate with Neeraj to gain a role in one of his serials, and Neeraj had told his friends that he was in love with Maria. On being interrogated, Maria told the police that it was a ‘one-sided affair’.





Maria and Jerome had known each other from their schooldays and their friends say that it was hard for them to believe that Jerome, who was felicitated by former president A.P.J. Abdul Kalam a year before the murder, and Maria, who had a bright future in acting and dancing, could be involved in such a heinous act. The introvert Jerome was the school captain and brilliant in academics, he had even won a gold medal for topping his Navy course.
Maria is the daughter of influential parents, her father is a builder in Mysore, and Jerome is the son of a retired bank clerk.
On the night of May 06 2008, Neeraj came to Dheeraj Solitaire Building in Malad (West) where Maria was shifting into a one-bedroom flat and Neeraj was supposed to help her with the shifting. As they were chatting, Maria’s boyfriend Jerome called her mobile, and overheard a voice (that of Neeraj) asking her “Is that your boyfriend?”
According to police, Jerome knew about Neeraj, but Maria had told Jerome that it was one-sided and only Neeraj had a soft corner for her. It was proven in examinations that Neeraj and Maria had sex before the murder and Jerome and Maria had sex after the murder……!
Jerome was angry at Neeraj’s presence at Maria’s place and asked her to make him leave. But she disconnected and after repeated attempts when he was unable to reach her, he called Neeraj and asked him to leave. Neeraj stayed at Maria’s flat till 04am. 03 hours later the bell rang and Maria opened the door to let in Jerome, who had taken a 03:45am Air India flight to Mumbai. When Jerome found Neeraj in her bedroom, he woke him up and the two fought bitterly before Jerome got a knife from the kitchen and stabbed him in the chest, attacking him constantly till he was dead. Neeraj's last words before his last breath were a heart-rending 'Maria! Maria!' This to was confessed by Maria herself.
After this Jerome and Maria had sex. The two then decided on what would be the best way to dispose of the body - to chop him up, disposing his body parts in three duffel bags and then burning up the pieces.
Around noon, Maria went to HyperCity and bought two large bags, a large bread-knife, air fresheners and new drapes to replace the bloodstained ones at home. They had decided that she would pay cash, but when she fell short of Rs. 800 on a purchase of Rs. 2000, she used her debit card. According to her, Jerome dragged the body to the bathroom, where he chopped it into several pieces and handed it to Maria, who then put each piece in the bags. This took more than three hours and they also put the blood-soaked clothes in the bag. Maria then called a choreographer friend and borrowed his Hyundai Santro. The couple then went to the friend’s flat in an auto and returned in the car after picking petrol in a jerry-can. They brought the bags down from their home in the lift and loaded them in the car, while Maria introduced Jerome to the building watchman as her friend.
Maria confessed to the police after the arrest that while training at INS Shivaji at Lonavla, Jerome had made several trips from Mumbai to Daman and Diu and was aware of many isolated forest areas on the way. They drove for about three hours before finding an isolated spot near Manor, Thane. They then dumped the bags there and doused it with petrol.
In the evening Neeraj’s friends came to Maria’s house looking for him, but she told them he had left. She gave them his mobile phone, saying he had forgotten it. Later, she accompanied the friends to the Malad police station to report him missing. The next day she got her entire flat repainted. When the couple was called to the Malad police station the next day, he told them he was in the city for a training course, but unknown to him, the Naval authorities in Kochi had already declared him missing.
On 12th May, Maria and four friends went to the office of the police commissioner and asked for help in tracking Neeraj. After they introduced themselves, the commissioner told Maria that she had nearly helped end the search as the prime suspect was sitting in front of him. It was then that Maria broke down, and after the initial hesitation, confessed to everything.

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Neeraj Grover Justice Denied - Ram Gopal Verma Uses Maria For Yet Another Publicity Stunt


A middle-aged loser, whose name to fame are a few forgotten movies, movies that opened to empty movie halls and helped the viewers fall asleep for a good three hours – a good deed indeed, making the stressed-out public get some rest in the hustle bustle of a busy day.

So now, this middle-aged man with a thick accent and a useless face that disgusts anyone the moment he opens his mouth to make us faint with his verbal diarrhoea, who has now had his share of putting the public to sleep with his movies is out of any more projects, the next step is to get on to subjects that are sure to grab eyeballs and give him instant free publicity.

Now that he has mastered the art of creating horrible and never-to-have-been-made movies, his next way to try and be in the limelight is to resort to cheap publicity stunts.

If you remember the horrific days when the entire nation sat glued to their TV sets, still trying to take in the tragedy brought on by the terrorists in Mumbai, where was Ram Gopal Verma? If you were watching the television then, you would have suddenly sat up and realised that Ramu was one of those along with the then Maharashtra CM VilasRao Deshmukh, who were out on a tour of the Taj hotel to see the damage left behind. The entire nation erupted in disgust and shock as we realised that Ram Gopal Verma was scouting for another eyeball-grabbing stunt to create a movie. This created much public outcry, and RGV was the reason for Vilas Rao Deshmukh stepping down as CM, something that he well deserved for doing something so uncalled-for.

And now, RGV has done it again. Without any regard for the emotions of old grieving parents who will never be able to come out of the shock of losing a strappy young boy with a promising future, and a family that has been left to grive its loss forever, Ram Gopal Verma has not only gone ahead and made a movie based on the gruesome murder of Neeraj Grover, saying it was just a bizzare coincidence that the date of the movie’s first look and the verdict clashed on the same day, he has now opened his verbal diarrhoea again and expressed his desire to cast this murderer b#$%^ Maria Susairaj in his movie. Expressing sympathy towards this killer woman, RGV says that if not for ‘this incidence’, Maria may have well been a movie star by now, and since this was not so, he will try and give her the opportunity now. By the way, ‘this incidence’ happens to be the gruesome planned murder of a young innocent man, chopping up his body into hundreds of pieces, putting it in gunny bags and disposing the parts, and then burning the body parts….but for RGV, this was just another incident that proved to be a hindrant to the aspirations of a useless woman who wanted to be an actress, but ‘ended up being labelled a murderer’ (as mentioned by RGV).


Reacting to the public outcry that came after RGV showed interest in casting Maria in a movie, Ramu said that he fails to understand the reason behind the anger, as his movie is only 'inspired' by the case, and not based on the Neeraj Grover murder. Neeraj's parents are angry and extremely hurt at this blatant use by Ramu of their tragedy to gain fame, the pain of losing their young son will never go away, but what Ramu is doing, that too without any intimation or permission from Neeraj's parents, is what hurts them most. Dismissing the Grover parents' grief as an emotional outburst, Ramu rationalizes, "How can they stop my film when it isn't their son's story? I am interested in the psychology of the case. How could sane sensible seemingly civil law-abiding citizens behave in this way? The two people who actually plotted and carried out the murder seem most incapable of such a heinous act."

And now, following in his dirty footsteps is of course the ‘creative team’ of Bigg Boss, who are planning to cast her in their next at a whopping fee ….. see, this is what a murderer is rewarded with in India. And a justice system that puts the punishment of killing a young man at 03 years.

If you feel Neeraj Grover has been denied justice, visit here and show your support. Neeraj Grover Justice Denied

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

My Book Lover Friend From Across The Globe


Some time back I had written a post about a book I had read almost 11 years back, borrowed from a friend and read with too much interest. It was a book that was really close to my heart, but one that I had not been able to finish as the last chapters were missing, and till date I never found out about the book as even its cover and name/author pages were missing.

Every time I visited a book store I would keep scanning the cover jackets, hoping to read a description of the story I was looking for. I would ask about the book at bookstores, in the hope that someone may remember having read it or had heard about it and would finally lead me to it. I would even keep my eyes open at the re-sale bookstores, in the last hope that someone, maybe someone, would decide to part with that awesome book for some reason and I would finally get it.

None of this ever happened of course. And as I had no clue about the book except a fading storyline, I knew there was no way for me to find the book and finally, after years and years of trying, I had lost all hope.

Then, a couple of weeks back I got a mail from this wonderful lady named Kate Carpenter, who had read about this book description on this blog and referred me a name. Read more
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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Friday, June 24, 2011

Thanks For Being So Blessed


Its been a while now that I decided to bring our personal habit of feeding street kids home-made food out in the open and urging others to do the same. So I started the group 'Feed A Kid Every Saturday' on FaceBook and must say, the response has been quite good. While many people were upset that I was setting a wrong example by giving food for free to these little ones, others understood my point that these are just little innocent babies out there, and should not be made to 'earn' their basic right of getting clean food once in a while at least, if not more. Thanks to all those who joined and are spreading the word.

Yesterday we visited the mall for some work, of course nowadays, with the mall culture exceptionally 'routine' in Mumbai (I can say for Mumbai coz I am now based here), we visit the mall for every little thing, be it vegetables or fancy shoes and what have you. So there we were, me and hubby checking out the said stuff, when suddenly my daughter (who is just about to be 4 soon) came up with a new Barbie in her hand..My reaction was 'Not again!!' and ditto for hubby. But after many tears and sobbing and crying, we, as always, relented. A mere doll cost us INR 1300/-, just like that.

Today, I was out with my daughter, and as our auto stopped at the red signal, a little cute boy, hardly 03 years old, walked up with a plastic lid in hand, asking for money. His smile was cherubic even as he was matted with dirt and grime from the streets. As he came to my auto, he smiled and looked up at me. I swear I could have picked him up in my arms then and brought him home...I literally wiped the tears away. I sadly didn't have any food on me, so I shook my head. He smiled and went away to ask someone else. I looked at the pavement nearby. There were 06 of them, starting from age 02 to about 06. And a lone undernourished woman. She had a piece of bread in her hand and was breaking it and giving everyone one tiny piece.

I turned and looked at my daughter, who was elder in age to that little one who had just come asking for money with that sweet smile (he of course doesn't even understand what begging is!)....,my daughter - protected, loved, cared for, and made to know that she is precious....thats our blessing.

And as I turned one last time to look at those little ones there, I said to myself...what a horrible world......

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Nation Wakes Up To Ash's Pregnancy, The Front Page Style


Woke up today morning, and as I opened the newspaper, there it was - the new that made it to the front page sidelines on merit of its belly owner (and the entire lineage behind it!) that Aishwarya Rai Bachchan is pregnant and that Mr. Amitabh Bachchan has excitedly tweeted about it.

Well..............

Ya, Sorry I kept that sentence above only till 'Well', was wondering what to write now. Both the front pages of Times of India Mumbai edition and the Bombay Times Supplement had the same news screaming at the front page sidelines..it was as if they were just waiting when the B family of B town would announce this pregnancy.
As reported, the 38-year-old actress is expecting their first child and the Bachchans are obviously ecstatic...

So while I was talking to hubby over the phone in the day, I told him about this 'BIG' event that has happened in the country today....
Me: you know the front page news today...the breaking news rather...Aishwarya Rai is pregnant.. ;)
Hubby: Oh...hmmmm....yaa....wasn't me ;)

LOL

Congratulations to the proud parents and the entire family :)

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Happy Father's Day Baba

Happy Father's Day Baba....


Father's Day is being celebrated today all across the world....of course each day is special, and like we all say, we don't need to have one single day to express our love for that person who means so special to us. But sometimes it does feel special when you wish someone specially and call it 'their' day, doesn't it? I too feel that the love I have for my baba, my father, is always the same, whether I call him and express it or whether I just keep it in my heart. But living away in a different city, it does feel good to pick up the phone and give a call to wish 'Happy Father's Day'...I can see the smile on his face even from this distance :)

I called my baba midnight last night and wished into the phone...He wasn't expecting a call, he does not keep track of these days, only our birthdays and anniversaries, just like all parents.....but I knew instantly that he felt really happy.

I have always been a daddy's girl, and still am. And I know this is true for most of us daughters. We just love to be called our father's daughter, don't we? Not that we love our mums less, but it's just a father-daughter thing I guess.

I dont need to send him a gift, just hearing my voice on the phone makes his day...And you know what, I am really grateful for having him as my father....for the way that he is and always will be with me, without any conditions attached...I love you baba....

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And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Ages Away


Its been ages and ages that I last visited this space. Of course there are no excuses for not doing what I like best - sitting down and jotting my thoughts and getting connected with such lovely people from all across the globe. Blogging happened by chance to me, but once I got the hang of it, it was really something that I enjoyed doing, sometimes even in the middle of the night.

Of late, too many things piled up together and I really was not able to get back here. Well, I did keep thinking of all those friends of mine who often visit me here, read what I write and think, and then share their own views with me and the other users. I did miss all that and I hope you all have been having a lot of fun in the meanwhile.

Something really wonderful has been happening on my book-reading and book-blogging front. Its something Iv really taken up with a lot of fun and interest, of course thats the next step for any bookworm, to write and talk about books, isn't it? So there have been authors from abroad who have sent me their book copies for me to read and review, there have been people in India who have shared their book with me and asked me to review it and talk about it on my book blog, and there has also been some tie-up with blogging sites who have begun sending me books to review and talk about....really really exciting and all happening at the same time ... Im super excited :D

And I just recently received my pre-ordered copy of Amitav Ghosh's second in the Sea of Poppies trilogy - River of Smoke....I was so so excited when I received my copy in the mail .... yippeeee.........

If you are into books and literature and would love to have a peek at my book blog, heres the link for all book worms : The Book Worm

And like I always believe in and say:
"Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children" - MJ

Debolina Raja Gupta

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Feed A Kid Every Saturday




I know this is not a post related to books in any way, but when I see so many kind souls out here who keep dropping by this blog, I can't but help make a genuine request to each one of you.

I am Debolina from Mumbai, India, as many of you already know. I am really passionate about street kids and try and help them in my own way as much as I can. But I am really a single individual really, and there is only so much I can do. Its really a big challenge you know, to try and give even the basic of basic amenities to these little ones out there on the streets...to try and give them a little slice of this beautiful thing we call Life...which they really don't have, while we have too much of it...don't we?

Till date, I and my husband have been going out and feeding these little ones on the street. We cook at home and take a meal once a day each weekend for these kids on the streets. But it really pains me to see the number of hungry and extremely poor kids who turn out asking for some food, while I have to sadly ask them to leave, as I don't have any more food left to distribute then. Its really one of the saddest and most humbling experience ever.

My husband gave me this idea to try and get people together from all over the world and instead of just us doing this, why don't WE ALL try and give a little bit of smile and sunshine to these kids?

Beginning this Saturday, the 28th of March, and for all Saturdays to come, lets join the 'Feed A Kid Every Saturday' movement... The reason to stress on Saturday is that most people are off work on a Saturday and hence have more time to do their bit. Of course if you can do this even on the week, nothing better than that...I am stressing everyone to atleast feed one hungry child out there, but if you want to share more love, of course you can feed more children, isn't it?

We see these kids everywhere..outside restaurants, outside malls, on the roads, at traffic signals. Everywhere..Little children selling flowers and toys and balloons, even while it's their time to play with all this and enjoy this beautiful thing we take for granted called life...

You may have given them a few rupees, or bought their wares, paid them and gone your way. But how many times have you got them a meal for a change? Instead of the money, why not feed these little hungry mouths? If EACH one of us feeds atleast ONE KID EACH SATURDAY, imagine how many children will get access to clean and real food. A sandwich, a meal, rice and dal, fruits...anything...Just go out there and make it a point to try and feed atleast one kid each Saturday.

Spread the word on your blog, on FaceBook, on Twitter, through mail, through phone, in person, in any way you can. And it would be really wonderful if you could actually go ahead and feed them. And if you could urge your friends to do so too. Do it more times a week if you can. Feed many kids if you can.....but atleast start doing it......they really need all the love they can get...they really need you.... Get as many people as you can from all parts of the world to join and take part... And thank you for doing this....really...."

Click here to join and please bring in as many people as you can. You can do your bit in your part of the world. And don't forget to share the pictures on our FaceBook Page and also tell us about your experience...

I thank you with all my heart for sharing your time and effort for this, and I wish you all the very best in life...Thank you for sharing the love.....

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And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ

- Debolina Raja Gupta

Thursday, May 19, 2011

My Book Reading Challenges This Year 2011


Wow, so last night, I finally managed to find the perfect three book-reading challenges that I am going to try and finish this year (of course I will bring in more challenges as and when I find the ones that are to my liking...honestly, most of them are, but I know I wont be able to finish even one if I start up on ALL of those ;) )

So here are my book-reading challenges that I am starting for 2011 as of now. Click on the name of the challenge to know about the rules and more...

Have a look and do feel free to join in and leave a comment in this post to let us know if you too are taking this challenge simultaneously :) Have fun...

My Book-Reading Challenges For 2011:
Click on the challenge names below to know more:

1. Alphabet Challenge
2. Cover Love Challenge
3. Off The Shelf Challenge


- Debolina Raja Gupta`

Book-Reading Challenge 2011 For Little Ones And Parents


I am an active book blogger and member of many book blogs and contests, as well as personal book challenges that are just so much more fun and interesting. While I was going through my own list of book-reading challenges, I thought it would be fun to start a very own book-reading challenge for our little ones...and why not?

This is definitely not a contest, but just a fun way of making book-reading a little more interesting for our little ones (and even for us)!! You can choose to complete as much of the challenge at your own sweet will, it does not mean that you have to make your little one rush through a book just to complete a challenge. A book is something most of us have grown up with, something that is very much a part of our lives and who we are, and some of us would sure want to pass this love of books down to our children.

I am just making up two different kinds of book challenges for our little ones and parents. Click on the given section to know more about each of the challenge...

1. I Love Alphabets Book-Reading Challenge (click here to know more about the challenege)
2. Colourful Book Covers Book-Reading Challenge (click here to know more about the challenege)

Have fun and drop a comment on this post to let us know you are taking the challenge...Bravo !!! And visit the challenge posts and do share your book list with other little ones and parents by dropping in a comment :) Enjoy your books now :)


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And like I always believe in and say:
'Heal the world we live in
Save it for our children' - MJ

Happy Parenting!!!!

Be good to your little one, and to the millions of little ones out there who truly need every bit of love and compassion they can get.....Be a grown up...save the little ones....

Debolina Raja Gupta